Who's a Fat Bastard - Who'd a thunk it?

October 4, 2014 

In a Jacket I haven't fit in since 1999

     There should be at this point trumpets playing a fanfare in your minds.  This is my one hundred and fiftieth post. 150 times since May 2, 2014, I have sat down and inflicted my life on unsuspecting readers. For those of you doing the math that's 156 days. I wasn't really aware that today was going to be the 150th post until I sat down to write it. I might have done something today if I'd known. I am resting my groin this weekend. No exercises below the waist. However I am moving food towards my face at a tremendous rate. No carbs, lots of salad. So far. I did nothing most of the day. I made breakfast for Lisa and I about 11. Hot Italian sausage and eggs.

Spicy breakie

     Then I went back to doing nothing, questioning the wisdom of the powers that be. How can there not be a baseball game on Saturday morning? I flicked from channel to channel, stopping for a moment or two to see if anything caught my attention. I came across this Horror show where horrible people were doing horrible things to each other in the name of God. Followed by Traffic , Weather and Sports. 

   I changed the channel to something less scary. Nightmare on Elm Street, and went to get another coffee. Lisa had ground up a pound of coffee we bought at the plantation on Kauai. It's good but it was crazy expensive. I'll stick to my No Name Instant. It must be my Scottish nature. The first time I ever had a $50 dollar steak, I didn't enjoy it. All I thought about was how much it cost. I once bought a car for $50! Now you see, I'm all over the place because I didn't do dick all day. That is one of the greatest canadian sayings ever. "I didn't do dick" 

"Hey Squatchy, whatcha do all day? Eh?" 

"I didn't do dick, Eh"

"Fuckin, Eh"

I know what it means, but if the alternative is doing dick? I might not want to own up to that! Not that there's anything wrong with that. 

So, as I'm reloading my coffee I make the mistake of looking out the window and see Lisa starting to remove the Hazelnut tree. The Hazelnut Highway will cease to exist. The Squirrel army will be pissed. They will nest in my rafters and eat my wires. Vindictive little bastards. Mind you, one of the first pages in the Joy of Cooking is how to skin a squirrel. I might just read up on it. The main reason were removing it is because they are going to grow to be forty feet tall and the pool will never see the sun..... and I hate squirrels.

The soon to be gone Hazelnut.

We got it halfway down when we ran out of room for the green waste. I am only allowed one bin of green waste a week. I'll do the rest after pickup on Wednesday.

      I went back to doing nothing, almost nothing. I went into the office and next thing you know I'm playing with the Casio and this stupid computer game. We were going to go pick up Momma Lee and meet Gord and Penny at Woody's to watch the Whitecaps and the Lions play. Just before we were headed out the door Momma Lee phoned and cancelled. She didn't want to be in a crowd. We met Gord and Penny and watched the games. Whitecaps won and Lions lost, again. We ordered way too much food.

Too much food

We came home and I fell asleep in front of the Canucks game. It was 2 - 0 Canucks, I woke with the score 3 -2 in the third period. Now on to the real deal. GO CANUCKS GO!!! To my Brother Garry who made me sleep in his spare room painted in Maple Leaf Colours. I like the Leafs chances. Even as I write this, they are tied for first place! Lisa was in bed asleep when I finally roused myself. 

     Being as this blog is really a diary of my somewhat interesting existence on this particular plane at this particular time. I thought to close my 150th anniversary blog I would do a quick review of the last 156 days.

     I have lost 40 lbs and dramatically improved my health. I work out almost daily, changing my lifestyle completely. I have visited Washington DC, Philadelphia Pennsylvania, most of New jersey, and NewYork. Then Hawaii for a wedding and Alaska on a cruise with Momma Lee and 22 other family/friends. I have watched many a beautiful sunset with my beautiful wife. We have been to summer parties and had our own. I've made a little music, made a few people smile, found a place inside of me where I found contentment. I watched my Grandkids grow and took joy in the things around me. And I was fortunate enough to share it all with you. It's been a great 156 days. I've used this blog as an inspiration and as a whip. I have had almost 12,000 views of my blog. I don't know what that number means? But I know you're out there. 

And that my friends, is more than enough.

That's all I got

Till next time.

Peace Out Y'all  

©2014 Dave Squatch Ward