Who's a Fat Bastard - Lisa Andretti at the wheel.

February 27, 2015

     Having a lot of trouble getting started on this one. I was in a foul mood this morning. Move forward one hour. I'm over it. I was going to vent but then my daughter Jen and the Grandkids came by for a visit. The Grandkids were in and out of the house playing with the Matty out in the yard. Jen, the lovely Lisa and I sat in the living room and caught up. She's very busy at work and I only see her when she drops the Grandkids off for Papa Squatch Dayscare.

      One cup of drippy Joe and I was off to the green Room to do my workout. twenty sets of my floor exercises and 200 One Stair Steps and was in the shower. I had a wardrobe appointment at 11:30 at the studio. I had a yogurt and some fruit salad while the lovely Lisa made plans for lunch with Bro Steve and Lyndsy.

Yeah, right.

We left the house at 10:45 with Lisa Andretti at the wheel. We were sitting in front of the studio at 11:00. The lovely Lisa had some shopping to do for Mama Lee so we went to the Walmart off of Grandview in Vancouver. It's a couple of minutes from the studio.

The view from the Walmart parking lot

      They are working out of the same studio as Jen and Chef Boy R Lisa's show. We went through security in a breeze. The Guards all know Chef Boy R Lisa. I was dropped off at Wardrobe. The fitting went fine. I could have picked the clothes out of my closet. Polo shirt and Khakis, I was there about thirty minutes. The lovely Lisa was waiting outside the doors and Jen was down the other end of the lot waiting for us. We had a quick visit, Jen is working and headed to Tentatsu to meet up with Bro Steve and Lyndsy.

Crab and Salmon roll

      We were at the restaurant first and took a booth for four and ordered a Crab/Salmon roll to hold us until they got here. They arrived minutes later just before the roll arrived. Timing is everything. Lyndsy is an eclectic personality who travels and makes art.

Lyndsy

She always has something interesting going on. We ordered way to much food.

The wild Salmon Sashimi was beautiful. The conversation ran from toothless Yorkies to North Van dump fees.

Bro Steves Soy Sauce Portrait

Bro Steve has a few gigs coming up and that's always a blast. On the way out we stopped in to the Polish Deli next door and the lovely Lisa bought some Chorizo and a Poppy Cake for tonight.

Tough lie!

      Then came the good part. Pitch and Putt at Rupert Park. It was another perfect winter day. There was just enough chill in the air to keep the tourists off the course. The Rat dogs think golf is the best game ever! I wish I could say I was tearing up the course and I started out great, but I was awful in the middle missing short putts all over the place.

We were tied at 8 skins apiece with three holes to play. I won all three including a birdie on eighteen. Final score 13/8. Another close match and revenge from last time when she kicked my butt.

      We came home the long way so the lovely Lisa could enjoy the Cherry Blossoms.

Through North Burnaby and over Burnaby Mountain. We stopped to see Mama Lee on our way home. She has been doing much better lately. Her voice exercises seem to be helping. She has become quite the Canucklehead never missing a game on TV and concerned about the price of tickets. I told her , "Join the club!" We stayed about twenty minutes then dropped her off in the TV room with Russel to watch the news.

Birthday Girl!

      We were going to go to Lea's birthday gathering in NewWest. An intimate dinner for six presented by the charming Aurora and Clayton the lovely Lisa and I were so happy to be a part of.  I love getting together with Lea and Mark, they make music.

After dinner we jammed for four hours straight. My fingers were killing me. Clayton sat in on Bass and Aurora sings beautifully while the lovely Lisa documented the Jam on film.

AKA Smokey Wine

We had a great time and the lovely Lisa finally dragged me and my guitar home just after 11:00. Happy Birthday Lea. Thanks for letting us be a part of it.

That's all I've got

Till Next time

Peace out Y'all

©2015 Dave Squatch Ward

Who's a Fat Bastard - Tuna Salad with an apple and a pear

February 26, 2015

      Do you remember a couple of days ago I told you I had a conversation with my agent Nancy about somebody asking something about my possible availability for something that may or may not happen? It happened. I am once again a working actor. I am doing three days on a feature film. There's all kinds of confidentiality issues so I can't tell you exactly what I'm doing. I will post as soon as I can. I'm excited to be back on set. I'll keep you informed .
      I was in the middle of my workout when the call came from Nancy. The lovely Lisa came down to the Green room with Nancy on the line. "You got the part" the lovely Lisa blurted out. "I'm doing my workout Nancy, I'll call you back for the details." I said to my amazing agent and long time friend on the other end of the phone. She had a couple of questions then said "It's all in the email, bye Squatchy" I finished my workout feeling reborn and positive.

Happy Happy

      This was at about 2:00 p.m I had spent the morning writing and playing guitar. I'm going to a couple of parties this weekend. One is a Jammin Birthday Bash for the Amazing Lea Sheldon, the cute half of Smokey Wine. Mark, the other half is cute too, if your into that old hippy kind of thing. Saturday is a house party and the host told me he has a guitar there for me to play. How's that for an invite? You can come to my party if you play for us. That's straight up! Most people just invite you, then sit an old, out of tune guitar right were you can see it. How can anyone who plays resist? Besides he's a Scotsman who can cook. I'll sing for my supper anytime. Then Sunday at 5:00 there's a Jam at the Ridgeway Legion at 5:00 come and play, come and listen, have a pint or two on a Sunday evening. If you come early you can get in on the meat draw! This is only the second Jam. It's a place to play and they are nice people.
      After my workout I made myself a Tuna Salad with an apple and a pear that I shared with the lovely Lisa. We planned on going down to Woody's for the Canucks game and chicken wings. 4:00 is too early. So I watched the first period of the game in Tiny TV Town. After the period was over I emerged from my hockey exile to the lovely Lisa ready to go. So I probably have fifteen minutes. She disappeared into the bathroom as I made my way back to Tiny TV Town. It was half way through the second period when the lovely Lisa appeared in the doorway "Are you coming or not?" the lovely Lisa asked. I filed my sarcastic reply for another battle. No use poking the bear. Even if she is a tiny bear, she's still a bear!
      The parking lot at Woody's is always busy. I think Viki rents the spaces out long term parking. Or not, it was busy inside too. We ordered twenty wings and the lovely Lisa had the steak sandwich special and I had the Fish Tacos.

Which I enjoyed a lot more when they were $7 on Sundays as opposed to $12 the rest of the week. The lovely Lisa and I played NTN poker and this time, I had my glasses! It didn't matter, she took my money like taking candy from a baby. The Canucks lost to the last place team in the whole league just to put a bad taste in my mouth. The lovely Lisa and I went home and picked up the Rat dogs.

We took them to the track at the Rec centre. There were a couple of runners on the track and Elvis would bark at them every time they went by. Home around 10:00 and tucked in before midnight.

That's all I've got

Till Next time

Peace out Y'all

©2015 Dave Squatch Ward

   

Who's a Fat Bastard - I still prefer the Ptomaine carts with dumplings of unknown Vintage

February 26, 2015

      While the East coast was getting pounded with yet another Snowmagedden. I sat at the Timmy Ho's drinking a coffee and listening to a couple of construction guys whining about the weather. It was overcast and 12 degrees. After four days of sunshine and 17 degrees, a lot of Left Coasters start to believe it's supposed to be like this. We do after all live in an era of entitlement. Don't believe it! When March rolls in, and the freezing cold sets in and kills all the flowers that are here six weeks early.

Front deck Primrose...Doomed I tell ya, Doooooomed

Then when the water restrictions start in April because there is no snow pack. Then who'll be pointing back East and giggling?
      Or not. I could do this kind of winter for the rest of my life! British Columfornia. Has a nice ring to it. Replace the Flintsones Village with a Six Flags and start building Motels! Water slide into the salt water pool at Kits beach and have an $8 beer. Oh wait, that last part is already here. The $8 beer thing. People would flock to the Left Coast to do the Grouse Grind. With the new escalator and the Slippy Slide Return Chute, we would be a huge hit with our rotund cousins to the south. Now there's the pot calling the kettle fat!
      We get ourselves all worked up about this stuff. Mother Nature is gonna do what she does. She is going to be who she is, and sometimes she's gonna be a Bitch! That's why she is called Mother Nature, and because Mother F#@ker was already taken! I want to thank Guy and Lynn Daigle,  friends in New Brunswick, for posting the Snowmagedden pictures and somehow keeping their sense of humour. I was going to write about how bad I feel about all the snow jokes, but I have a Tee time in an hour so I better move on.
      Cranked full of Joe I sat and wrote yesterdays blog. Today was lunch day with Peter. Once a month I take Mama Lee and Peter out for lunch. Peter comes to see Mama Lee once a week and has lunch at the residence with her. She orders him the Handi-Dart door to door service. I make him take the bus. He is capable of it and he has a Bus Pass. The longer he stays independent the better off he will be. On the other hand, he missed a connection and was thirty minutes late. Just after 11:00 Bro Steve arrived. A voice in my head said "Move away from the Blog! Take your hands off the keys and go say hello to your Brother -in-law, You rude Bastard!" so I did. We talked music and listened to a UTUBE audio of George Harrison and John Lennon writing the song Something. It was pretty cool to hear the process. I left Bro Steve with a guitar in the living room and got the blog posted while he played a most excellent guitar. I was on the phone telling Mama Lee that Peter was a no show and Steve and I would take you out for lunch. That's when Peter arrived. "On our way Mama Lee" I said into the phone.
      We usually do Dim Sum when we go for Peter lunch. He likes it and so does Mama Lee.

Mama Lee Dim Summing

They just recently started Dim Sum at the Asian Kitchen Restaurant this is the third time we have had Dim Sum there. The owner/manager came up and started talking to us. He said he remembered us as he was seating us. I guess so, last time we were here Peter put two sui mai in his mouth at once! I remember it well, as a matter of fact, I can't forget it! I still see it in my dreams!

One at a time Peter, One at a time.

We ordered off the menu. It comes hot and fresh if a little sporadically.

Salt and pepper squid

I still prefer the Ptomaine carts with dumplings of unknown vintage. We ordered the lunch special bowl because it was $1.99 steamed ribs on rice. It shows up with a chicken foot on it as well. I have never eaten them. I always think about what chickens do all day. They peck and the poop and they do it all in the same place at the same time. I want to know that chicken has had a pedicure before I put that in my mouth! Today I did it. You know what, it tastes like chicken! Lol.

These foots were made for eatin, that's just what I'll do. 

The food was very good and we got out of there for $10 a head. I dropped Bro Steve off at my place to get his car then took Mama Lee home.

See Ya, Wouldn't want to be Ya!

      Peter smokes! He got in the truck and that's all I could smell. I've been around other smokers. Willy and Annie both smoke but I don't notice it much on them. Peter smelled like an ashtray. For as long as I've known him he has been going to quit after this pack. He buys Nicorete gum and spray and all the other Nicotine laced products the tobacco industry has created since so many of us have come to our senses as far as smoking goes. Between that and the lack of conversation, I was glad to get him out of the truck.
      It was 3:00 by the time I came home, just enough time to do a workout before Chef Boy R Lisa got home. I did twenty sets of my floor exercises and 200 One Stair Steps, was showered and in front of the TV before 4:00. She had texted me earlier that it would likely be a short day, maybe only, thirteen hours. Woo Hoo! The long weekend starts early! Not! One hour meal penalty and they were in Coquitlam at the Silver City Cineplex. It's right beside the Asian Kitchen and five minutes from our house. Chef Boy R Lisa is a Teamster. All the Caterers are. She drives the support  truck. It was after 6:00 when she texted me that they were just leaving. She had to drive the truck back to the studio in Vancouver before she could come home.
      When she did finally get home over seventeen hours after she left, she was bagged. We made a meal of leftovers, Chicken and Salad for me, chicken and rice for the lovely Lisa.

Half way through the second episode of Family Feud, the best game show since Hollywood Squares, I looked over and the lovely Lisa was nodding off. I turned down the volume and waited until I could see she was asleep then turned the TV to Sports Centre.  She woke up and went to bed about forty minutes later. I tucked her in and stayed up doing nothing till midnight.

That's all I've got

Till Next time

Peace out Y'all

©2015 Dave Squatch Ward

Who's a Fat Bastard - The Animal Control Officer is always lurking

February 24, 2015

Brrrrr chilly!! 10:00 p.m

    I dawdled my way through the morning. Where the hell did I get dawdled from? And what do you think it means? The spell check let it go through so it must be a word. I think it means to shuffle things around with no real purpose. that was me. I moved the manila envelope stuffed full of tax receipts maybe six, seven times. I picked up a guitar and strummed it with no song in mind, just enjoying the feel of it in my hands. I went on line with Telus to check out the TV packs. Right now I have a dozen packs and were are paying $100  month and don't watch most of them. As long as I keep the Family Feud channel and the News, the lovely Lisa says I can do what I want. Mind you, we had this conversation after she had worked a sixteen hour day. I had a conversation with my agent Nancy about somebody asking something about my possible availability for something that may or may not happen. I hate that!
      So what I have learned to do over my thirty years as an actor is, the three P's, be Prepared, be Personable, be Professional and as soon as the audition is over put it in the file with all the other rejection notices. That way if it happens, you're happy and surprised. If it doesn't, you forget about it until you see it on TV. It's not personal. If you take it that way, it will make you crazy! And I already have one foot on that train!

The Cave at Blue Mountain Park, in the summer it's a waterfall.

      While I was dawdling I also wrote yesterdays blog and drank five or six cups of Joe. I was buzzing! It seemed like the perfect time to do a workout. I went down in the green Room cranked up TSN radio and listened to the Canucks lunch. I don't know how good a team the Canucks  are because they haven't fielded a healthy line up all year. I heard the GM saying no trade line action because when all the injured guys come back it is going to be like a trade. What a crock of Poop Fairy Dust! All I can really say is at least I'm not a Leaf fan!
      Just like taxes, when you increase the number of exercises you do, they never go back down. I am now doing twenty sets of ten reps each. I tried to increase the number of reps in each set, but I kept losing count. I'll just do more sets. This is good for now. 200 One Stair Steps and I was done. I haven't been riding the Iron Maiden just because of time constraints and because I would rather be outside walking around in this beautiful winter weather we were having.

Not present, Chicken Teriyaki

      After my shower I got in the truck and drove to Tentatsu for lunch. It was 2:30 when I got there. I left the Rat dogs at home with the promise I would take them out later. Why do dog people do that? The dog doesn't care? As soon as your out the door, he's looking at porn and riding the love monkey!!
At least that's how the lovely Lisa thinks those sites got into the browser history? I had the $7 lunch special and sat in the window seat looking out at the bus stop on Hastings Street. It is a very busy bus stop with a bus coming by every few minutes. It's in a very busy shopping district with Asian fruit markets and Italian deli's sprinkled among the dozen or so restaurants.

And a Holistic Vet 

It's kind of weird having people look at you while your eating. I was up and out of there before 3:00. I had a date with the Rat dogs.

      I wish everyone I met was as happy to see me as the Rat dogs are. Ten minutes or ten hours it doesn't matter. Tails wagging, bouncing up and down, trying to lick your face! I don't let them. I see where that tongues been! Halters on we were off. I had to go to the bank so I ended up taking them to Blue Mountain Park.

Picnic anyone?

We don't go there very often. It's got a big new playground for the kids and I don't want the Rat dogs peeing on the equipment. That and the Animal Control Officer is always lurking around there.

They have a statue garden in the park.

It don't smell like ass!

Some of it is quite interesting,

some of it looks like rocks.

Everyone's a critic!

There must have been a sale on sidewalk chalk.

      The Canucks game was through the first period when I got home tied at one goal apiece. I settled in to watch the rest of the game. They were outplayed by the Big Bad Bruins but Eddy Lack in goal was great. A goal in the third period and hold on for dear life in the last two minutes. I got my Ho warning from Chef Boy R Lisa and tidied up the house. It was after 7:00 by the time she got home and with a 2:00 a.m wake up call she had a shower and we had a bite to eat together and she was down for the count.
      I watched way to many episodes of the Mentalist and went to bed about midnight. Lunch with Peter tomorrow.

That's all I've got

Till Next time

Peace out Y'all

©2015 Dave Squatch Ward

Who's a Fat Bastard - I'm humped over like Elvis riding the Love Monkey.

February 23, 2015

Trout Lake

      I was sitting in the Dentist chair at 8:00 a.m. this morning. Is that a redundancy? A.m. and morning in the same sentence. Why yes it is Squatchy. Don't care, I like the way it sounds. It is an infinitely better sound than the Dentist's drill! I had a tooth break around an old filling so he had to take out the old silver filling and put in a new composite filling and rebuild the back of the tooth. I like my Dentist. He reminds me of Raj on the Big Bang Theory. I'm not sure if it's because he's Indian or just the effects of the nitrous oxide. Forty-five minutes in the chair and the tooth was good as new and my wallet was $150 lighter. Well the plastic was anyway! Thank the Teamsters we have good insurance. Chef Boy R Lisa is a Teamster. If your nice to her she'll tell you were Jimmy Hoffa is!
      I had to be downtown at 10:30 for a voice demo. It was to a studio I hadn't been for a while. It was, coincidentally, the studio I did my first voice gig at. I packed up the Rat dogs for the ride into town. I was thinking that after the gig I would take thee dogs to Trout Lake in East Van. The one end of the lake is off leash dog park. I was in the general vicinity of the studio thirty minutes early. It can be a real drag trying to find parking at 6th and Manitoba. On the first pass along 7th I won the parking lottery.  Free parking and I could see the studio from here! I have in the past parked three or four blocks from my destination.

There is a park that is one full city block in size that I have taken the Rat dogs and even back to the days of Sammy.

Sammy Buttmunch Jr. I wish I was as good a person as he was a dog.

That's like, twenty years and I still don't know what it's called.There are a lot of studios in this general area.

Nutmeg in the No Name park.

      We spent fifteen minutes in the park. There were a few other dogs in the park but they were all big and chasing balls. Rat dogs don't play that game! Elvis does however bark like a maniac when they run by. With the Rat dogs back in the truck, bag of dog bombs in hand, the garbage was on the other side of the park, I made my way to GGRP. The R in the name is Miles Ramsey, He was the Chevron Spokesman for years. He gave me my first voice gig after we worked together on a Chevron Commercial. I was Rodney the human engine. I was buzzed in and made myself comfortable in the waiting room. I was reading with a woman named Paula that I had never met before. She had a nice voice. We got down to important stuff right away. She told me that she had seen me in the park with the Rat dogs and she was a dog owner too. She had a Golden Retriever I was told as she brushed freshly shed Golden Retriever off her sleeve. We were brought the copy to look at and were in front of the mics two minutes later. Paula was great. She has a very clear professional sounding tone. I sound like me. That's okay, sometimes they like that.
      I was out of there by 10:40. Talked to Peter, the director, for a minute or two and went to rescue the Rat dogs. Trout Lake here we come. It was on the way to Tentatsu so I swung in to the park and released the hounds! Okay, Rat dogs. It was another amazing day. There were lots of dogs and quite a few alternate life stylers.

Jobless mutants!

If you have two pounds of metal on your face and multi-coloured hair, I'm guessing you have a fair bit of spare time! I'm not sure if it's statistically correct but anecdotally it seems the freakier the owner, the bigger the dog! A lot of big dogs there today. We walked along the edge of the water and followed the path through the grassy area away from the dog beach. Rat dogs only swim out of necessity. By that I mean if you toss them in against their will. Nutmeg won't even go out in the rain!
      It was a little early for lunch and Nutmeg was already headed back to the truck so I decided to bail on Tentatsu. Instead I decided to stop by to see Mama Lee and eat the leftover Squatch like salad I had at home. Mama Lee was looking good yesterday. She was energetic and alert. We sat in her room and talked about what a beautiful day it was and how she really would love to go for a walk and "Alright already" I said " I'll take you to the Lake after lunch." I pushed her out to the dining room thinking " I should have gone to Tentatsu!"
      On the way out Jessica, the Recreational therapist, mentioned that I hadn't been in to play guitar for the residents in a while. I said "I've been busy." She's a very nice girl and does a great job with all of the residents. As I was sitting down to my lunch I was looking at my guitar, still in it's case from last nights Jam. What the hell. I was going back to take Mama Lee for a walk anyway. I usually would play from about 12:30 for an hour or so. I left the Rat dogs in the truck and set up in the window bench. I forgot how much I enjoy playing for them. It's hard to tell how much they enjoy me though. A lot of them are non verbal and it can be hard to tell if they're rocking out or nodding off!

No more, please

      When I was done I got Mama Lee ready to go out. Warm jacket and a blanket in her bag in case her legs got cold. We stopped at the truck to pick up the Rat dogs. I put Nutmeg on Mama Lee's lap and Elvis on a leash. It's only a couple of hundred metres to the path but I have to cross the road. Elvis is not a short leash kind of guy! He waited until we were in the middle of the road before he ran in front of Mama Lee's wheelchair and got tangled. I got the leash loose pretty quick and he bolted into the park dragging the leash behind him. I let the Rat dogs off leash and started around the lake with Mama Lee. Her chair is a little awkward for me to push because the canes are too low. I'm humped over like Elvis riding the Love Monkey.

Elvis's sex toy "The Love Monkey" the lovely Lisa won't touch it!

Mama Lee was enjoying herself. I should do it more often. When I think about the state that she is in it seems so lame to not take her because it's challenging for me. Mama Lee's whole life is a challenge!

Mama Lee looking pretty in the sunshine.

Sometimes it's hard to keep things in perspective. It's also a much more strenuous workout for me. It took us about thirty minutes to do one lap. Nutmeg was on Mama Lee's lap on the road side of the lake. I put Elvis on the long retractable leash and that worked way better. He likes to be out front and when people walked by I would yell "Mush!"

I think I can, I think I can!

As soon as Nutmeg was put down she made bee line for the parking lot looking for the truck, that wasn't there. Mama Lee was a little bit cold so we just went back to her place. It was a good afternoon.
     When I got home I got a call from Genesis and booked my first work. I will be doing the TED talks at the Convention Centre for ten days in mid March. I don't know if I will do anything before then. I just got off the phone when I got my Ho warning. The lovely Lisa was on her way. I watched the Raptors blow a lead and lose to the Pelicans. How can a Dinosaur lose to a Pelican?!! The lovely Lisa was in and out of the shower, eaten and in bed before 7:00 with a 2:00 a.m wake up call time. I had this funky salad that Chef Boy R Lisa brought home for dinner. Ham, chicken and multiple cheeses! I then spent the rest of the night reading and watching Blue Bloods I had recorded. I have always been a Tom Selleck fan. I rolled myself into bed about midnight feeling like I accomplished something today. What I didn't accomplish was a workout. I gotta get on it early. The longer the day goes the less likely I am to do it. I got a lot of exercise today but I don't want that to be an excuse to slack off. I broke the 280 mark for the first time in fourteen years. I'm feeling good about myself inside and out.

June 20, 2002. 275 lbs

That's all I've got

Till Next time

Peace out Y'all

©2015 Dave Squatch Ward

Who's a Fat Bastard - My friends are an ungrateful lot.

February 21, 2015

The Horvats and I

      It was a calm and quiet Saturday morning interspersed with moments of panic. After a couple of cups of Joe I got ready to go do my workout. It didn't happen! There was a knock on the back door and my tenant Chris was standing there. "We have a problem in the bedroom" he said. I said "It's none of my business but you might want to try Viagra." he said "No seriously" I went down and in the corner of the room there was dampness on the floor and some slime that may have been mold.

When Chris and Tamara moved in four years ago I told them, if there is ever a problem in the suite I want to know immediately if not sooner. They have been great about that. Of course most of the problems were related to water squirting out of pipes, or dripping out of faucets. That's kind of hard to ignore. I've taken care of all of those problems. Knock on wood. Try to visualise me tapping my head. I went and got the tools I needed to first, peel off the baseboards and check for moisture or mold. The drywall and behind the baseboards was perfectly dry. Thank you. Six years ago I totally redid the suite after a flood. I cut the drywall out three feet up and replaced all the wet wood with new. I ended up doing all the walls in the suite chasing moisture and mold.

      Tamara cleaned up the floor and put her dehumidifier into the room. I was in there this morning putting the base boards back on and it looks good. Everything was nice and dry. Where the dampness came from is a mystery.

      Even though I was dressed to go do my workout, procrastination took hold. Hey, its not like I was doing nothing. I grabbed a cup of drippy Joe, sat at the computer and wrote yesterday's blog. By the time I was done with that I had run out of excuses. So off to the green room I go. Fifteen sets of my five floor exercises and 200 One Stair Steps. 

When I came upstairs after my workout the lovely Lisa was well into preparations for dinner. She was making a garlic rice pilaf, asparagus and an absolutely beautiful Squatch like salad 

to go along with the Squatch Baked Fried Chicken and steaks I was going to do on the BBQ. 

We like to feed our guests well before we take their money playing cards.

Dinner was for 6:30 and our friends usually show up around 6:00. Around 5:00 I was starting to prep my Squatch Baked Fried Chicken. It"s different every time I make it, depending on what I have at hand. About ten minutes later Duffy showed up. 

Duffy, in a moment of contemplation

He has no wife so he can do what he wants. I was happy to see him because now I could watch the hockey game on the TV in the living room instead of being banished to Tiny TV Town.

      Gordy, Penny and M B Ho all showed up at about 6:00. We watched the end of the Maple Loafs game, and this is the most incredible thing. Not only did the Maple Laffs win the game, the Crescent Moon and Venus were visible in the same sky. That might not happen again for years! The Loafers winning I mean! Not quite a blue moon, but pretty close. I didn't have enough Panko to do the chicken 

so I added a pouch of shake and bake for pork, garlic powder, Parmesan cheese, ginger and Italian herbs. In the egg wash, salt and pepper. The chicken was a hit with the everyone except for MB Ho. He can't eat cheese. I don't know why, nor, come to think of it do I really care. Love my left over Squatch Baked Fried Chicken.

      Dr Dan, Ryland the Explorer and Julia showed up just as we finished eating. They had come out to see Mama Lee.

Mama Lee and Julia

My friends are an ungrateful lot. 

My Friends

Not only did they eat well, they hosed the lovely Lisa and I at cards. They were taking the whole Screw Your Neighbour thing pretty seriously. The good news is I was broke. I only had enough cash for one game. So the lovely Lisa had to buck up for me on the other three games. Wow, did she ever get boned! I on the other hand, only lost a Toonie! Gord won twice, MB Ho and Duffy each won once. I tossed the inconsiderate, money grubbing bastards out at 11:30 or so. I had no choice, the lovely Lisa lost all her money!

February 22, 2015

      This is definitely the readers digest version coming up. Not only am I feeding you a double, it could easily be a triple because as I sit here it's 4:00 Monday afternoon and I just finished writing about Saturday. 

I was back on track on Sunday. Two cups of drippy Joe and I was in the Green Room sweating to the oldies. I don't know why but when I got to my usual fifteen sets, I kept going. I added five more sets and I did them like I meant them. 200 One Stair Steps later and I was feeling really good.

I came up stairs and told the lovely Lisa I was Jonesing for Fish Tacos at Woody's. I have been ever since Super Bowl. I haven't been back to Woody's since that tragic play, I mean day. I was having trouble keeping my food down and Woody's kept reminding me of it 

      It was just after noon when I got out of the shower. I missed last Sunday's Weigh Day so I faced down my accuser with subdued optimism. I have been stuck at 280 - 283 lbs for what seems like forever. I have had a couple of days when I didn't work out and a couple of carb filled pigout extravaganzas, but mostly I stick to my lifestyle changes. Everybody knows diets don't work. Even before I stepped onto the scale I told myself it doesn't matter. It's just a number. I feel great. I really do. I walk for miles besides doing my workouts, and I mostly eat sensibly. Maybe this is what I'm supposed to weigh at this time in my life. So when I started losing the weight and saw the progress I was making in my over all fitness level, I told myself to focus on how I feel. That's what I was telling myself again. I had just increased my workout by 50% and felt good doing it. As I went to step on the scale I relised I didn't have my camera. So I ran buck naked into the kitchen where I had left my phone. You should have seen the look on the lovely Lisa's face! I once again moved towards the scale then I thought, I need to pee. That's gotta weigh something. It was weird because I usually pee in the shower. Okay, I'm back at the scale. These digital scales are cool, the numbers dance around like a slot machine then blink three times, and there you are, a little bit less of a Fat Bastard.

Finally beat the 280 mark.Woo Hoo, I smell a speedo!

It was another spectacular Left Coast February Spring day. The Daffies and Crocuses or is that Croci, were competing with the Azaleas for the most beautiful flowers, while mental midgets walked around in flip flops and shorts. C'Mon man! IT WAS 9 DEGREES! That's only warm relative to the plight of our fellow snow bound, fast frozen Canuck brethren on the wrong side of the Rockies. I'm pretty sure that's cold enough to kill a Mexican!

      We loitered for a few moments in the parking lot standing in the sun and smelling spring in the air. Did I mention it's February. 

Notice the rays of sunshine.

I was in my seat and salivating for fish tacos before the lovely Lisa could blow $10 on government sponsored gambling. We ordered our drinks and the lovely Lisa perused the menu, just about forever!

Ten minutes later she ordered the fish tacos!

One of the fish tacos. I swallowed the first one like a Boa Constricter eating a rat!.

We were playing NTN poker and I didn't bring any eye glasses so I was kind of guessing at what I had. I'm not  a very good guesser. I was betting trip 8's when an 8 came on the board. When I lost the hand to a pair of kings the lovely Lisa pointed out my pocket pair of 8's was a 9 and a 3. It only got worse from there. On the bright side, in an hour the lovely Lisa was number 7 on the monthly high rollers list!

      We went to the Stupor Store on the way home. Chef Boy R Lisa needed a few things for work and I needed cashews. The last half of that sentence is the reason that society is disintegrating. We have lost the ability to tell the difference between what we need and what we want. I need food. I want cashews. At least I can still tell the difference. I needed three tins! Hey, they were on sale!

      When we got home I was banished to tiny TV Town for the Canucks game. After the first period the lovely Lisa said she was going to get ready for bed and I could watch the game in spectacular high def. It was only 4:30 and her wake up call was 2:15. That's late for a Monday. With eight minutes left in the game and the Canucks well ahead the phone rang. Willy had told me last night that they were going to try to do a Jam at the Legion on Ridgeway at 5:30. I told him I would try to make it but had totally forgotten. I grabbed my guitar and amp and went to Jam. There were quite a few people there when I walked in. On stage playing an old country tune were three guitar players, a bass player, a drummer and a Gal with a washboard and a Harmonica. The group that was on the stage played a few more tunes and then took a break. I was going up next, after the break, Coors light in hand, I plugged in and was joined on stage by a drummer and a bass player. They were both black so I started in to a little Downchild Blues Band.  Is that racist? Because I didn't think it was at the time. These guys had been up with the country guys and I thought, I can list all the great black country stars I know on one finger. Charlie Pride.  Considering we had never played together before we did a pretty good job. Even put bodies on the dance floor. At one point there were seven of us on stage including the Washboard Gal who sang some really nice harmonies. Usually at a Jam if you get three songs your lucky. We did a forty minute set covering a few three chord blues tunes and a couple of my own songs. After the set I hung out with Willy and Annie while another guitar player used my amp. I was home about 8:30 and ate chicken and salad. I have no pictures of the jam. I was Jamming. 

      I am at the dentist at 8:00 tomorrow morning. I did nothing while I should have been writing this. This thing doesn't write itself you know! It's now 6:15 Monday evening. The lovely Lisa is in bed and I'm going to add the pictures and be done with this posting. I had a full day today. I'll tell you about it tomorrow!

That's all I've got

Till Next time

Peace out Y'all

©2015 Dave Squatch Ward