Who's a Fat Bastard - Disrupting the peace and scaring people

October 9, 2014

On our deck

     Previously on Who's a Fat Bastard. I find the cupboard under the sink flooded ten minutes before the Canucks game last night. I promised Lisa I would fix it first thing in the morning. Told her not to use the sink and then I pretended it never happened. Except for the two times I turned on the tap out of force of habit. Rinse your cup and you'll always be invited back. The Canucks won, I wrote a blog and then I woke up to this. 

Holy copper pipe hole!

I was pretty sure I knew how to fix this. It's just a rubber coupling that fits over the hole and seals it. It's the drain pipe so it's not under pressure.  Still, it looked like a job for Next Door Gord. 

The pipe seemed solid enough but if I had to cut out a piece, now was the time to do it. Next door Gord checked it out and said to just use the coupling. He was on his way to do something on his daughters roof and now that I had a plan, I poured myself a cup of Joe and started to get dressed for my trip to Rona. Never made it out the door. There was Gord back in the kitchen with the coupling I need. The guy has everything. I cut it to size and put it in.

 No muss, no fuss, no leaks.

I had it done in five minutes, then another five minutes to get out of the cabinet and up off the floor. I turned around and Next Door Gord was gone. In the distance I thought  I heard him say "Hi Ho Alvina , Awaaaaay" That's what he called his car.

     It was a beautiful day today. I was planning on cutting down the rest of the Hazelnut when Lisa suggested we go play golf. Sounds like a plan to me.

     I made myself a few Chicken Salad lettuce wraps. 

Spent about forty minutes online trying to help Rubydoo, and trying to find some stage time to reignite my Standup career. 

Begging for work

     We were meeting our friend Duffy at Central Park Pitch n Putt at 1 pm.  We never made it. Lisa got all involved with a Momma Lee issue and drove by a couple of useful exits. We were at the course only twenty minutes late. Duffy was waiting patiently. Patience is a good thing when Lisa is involved. It takes her ten minutes to transfer her stuff from her purse to her club caddy. What do you need on a golf course? Balls and sticks. everything else is overkill. I wandered off towards the clubhouse camera in hand. Even the ducks were enjoying the sunshine.

Duck ala Rock

     It's a pretty good deal, $9 for 18 holes. I haven't played here in a long long time. Lisa and Brother Steve used to play it all the time.

We were about to tee off when a single player showed up. We let him play through because there was no one in front of us for a couple of holes. He got way to excited. You could see him scurrying to get his ball on the tee and get going. His frantic back swing led to a complete miss. He was staring down the fairway wondering were his ball was. It was still on the Tee! " Slow down and take your time" I said "Don't make me question letting you go ahead." He promptly drove the ball into the ground and it rolled thirty yards down the fairway. "Have a good game" I yelled after him as he scurried to his ball.

     To say the weather was too good to be October,was an understatement. It's too bad the course is in not the best shape. The greens were pretty rough.

It didn't seem to bother Lisa as she nearly holed out. 

It was a close game for the first nine 5-4-4 for Lisa in the skins game. Then Duffy went nuts! He won all the carryovers and everything else too. He had three KPs as well. Final score 14 Duffy, 5 Lisa and for the Ultimate LOOOOOOOSER, 4. I have no excuse. I didn't play well on the back nine. This was a strange game. The first time I recall when no one made a birdie. I gave Lisa her second place kiss. I just shook Duffy's hand.

     On the way back to the car you walk alongside the pond. They have a lot of ducks.

Duck ala Rock, double order.

And sitting in a tree in the middle of the lake was a beautiful Heron. 

Along with the ducks, the Heron and numerous other birds there were, of course, the crows. Disrupting the peace and scaring people.

We decided to go to the Rivers Reach Pub in New West. They have half price appies 3 -6 every night. A nice selection and the food is good.

Chicken wings

Kalamari, Lettuce wraps (Mine are better) and artichoke dip.

     On our way home we swung by to see Momma Lee. A quick visit and home. I was feeling guilty about not working out today so I changed and hit the stairs at 8:30 pm. I only did my stair work and I messed up the pictures....again. I thought it didn't flash because it didn't need to. Turns out I had the flash shut down. One thousand Four Stair Stretches with 2 pound weights.

 200 One Stair Steps With no picture because the battery died, and done for the night. I'm nodding off here at the keyboard. So I will finish in the morning.  

     Good morning. Where was I. Oh yeah, I was down the stairwell. Lisa was talking to our friend Jody on the Island. For an hour! Jody is always fun to talk to. She works on a farm outside of Victoria and loves it. When I came up stairs, Lisa was all ready for bed. I tucked her in and sat down to write this. After a full day of fun in the sun I was trashed. I worked on this for about an hour and a half and crawled into bed at about 2:30 am. 

That's all I got

Till next time

Peace Out Y'all

©2014 Dave Squatch Ward