Friday 31 October 2014

Who's a Fat Bastard - Mayonaise and sweet green relish.

October 30 2014

      Up at 7:45 Papa Squatch Dayscare was ready to go. Jen dropped the kids off at 8:15. Bella goes to school at 8:45. Christo  does not have school at all today. As usual Bella plays on the floor with Nutmeg before she goes to school. At about 8:35 Bella, Christo  and myself walk across to the school. It's not really raining it's more like wet air. Still, by the time we got to the school my hat was dripping wet.
      Bella drops her backpack in the line and runs off to play Zombie tag with Christo and the rest of the kids. These kids are like, six years old. Zombie tag ? Do you have to double tag the little ghouls?
      With Christo not having any school, and no one to play with I have to find some way to keep him amused. The first thing I did was amuse him by having him sort my laundry. We go through the green room to get to the laundry room and Christo  saw my new workout mat that lays untouched and unloved, unused for two weeks. Every time, I think I can start exercising again, I walk up a flight of stairs and my groin lets me know different.  About all I can do is walk, and I'm doing as much of that as I can.
      While we were down there, I was on him like a drill sergeant on a newbie.
"You call yourself a four-year-old" I yelled into his face.
"drop and gimme 50."
"I can only count to eleven, Papa" he explained
'Then count to 11 five times!" I bellowed with enthusiasm. After a gruelling 30 second workout we had chocolate milk and reminisced about the war.
      I let him watch the Disney Channel for an hour. 

It was a show about princesses, You would think he would have enough of that Princess crap from Bella! 
      At lunch time Christo helped me make egg salad. He cracked the eggs, I peeled them then he mashed them. It was a joint effort to stir in the mayonnaise and the sweet green relish. 

I toasted a beautiful bun and made him an incredible egg salad sandwich. You would have thought I gave him a poop sandwich. The look on his face was priceless/distressing. I made him a peanut butter instead and the lovely Lisa ate his egg salad sandwich. I had my egg salad on lettuce.

      After lunch we started going through the Halloween bins. 

We have eight big Rubbermaid bins filled with all kinds of costumes and props. I was thinking about reprising creepy the clown

but I did that last year. I got something else in mind for this year.
      I set Christo up with some art supplies downstairs in the green room. I drew a half a dozen pumpkin like circles and had him put faces on them to practise for the actual pumpkins we were carving when Bella and Matty get home from school. I'll tell you the kid draws like a 4 year old. Alright he is a four year old. I don't see Emily Carr in his future.

     Brother Steve came by the house with some mushrooms he had picked up on Mount Seymour. He and Lisa made Risotto. 

I have never cared for it. 
      I went and picked up Bella while reducing Christo's brain to jelly with the Disney channel on stun. 

When Bella and I got back to the house, we got set up for the great "Papa Squatch Dayscare Pumpkin Slaughter." Tamara brought Matty up to the kitchen and we prepared our self for the massacre. 

I cut the top of their heads off and had the Kids disembowel them. They each drew a face on a pumpkin and I cut out the appropriate places. 
We have a veritable Pumpkin Army.

     I let the kids play downstairs with Matty for another half hour. I packed up the kids and the dogs and went to visit Mama Lee on the way to the Kids house.

" Do we have to see Mama Lee every day?" Christo said in a voice that made it clear he didn't think so. 
"Yes, and smile, kiss Mama Lee, and use your manners, or I'll sell you to the gypsies." They are always great when I take them there but, it's no fun for them. We never stay long. 
      I dropped them off and when I got home the lovely Lisa was sewing sequins onto her Halloween costume.  Lisa loves Halloween.
      We decided to go have Pizza at the place Brother Steve works at in North Vancouver. The pizza was good and the waiter was a jerk. It's just after seven when we get there, the front guy is a jerk, and the place is empty. Honestly, not surprised. We ordered our pizza to go. I didn't mention the name because I wouldn't recommend it. The food was good, but doesn't make up for the terrible service. 
      We took our pizza and went to visit Michele. Had coffee and caught up on recent events. Spent a couple of hours just chillin then home to bed...for Lisa. I still got stuff to do. Like find out who won the Canuck game, the football game and write this blog. Which is what I'm doing at 9 am this morning after a very good nights sleep. Seven uninterrupted hours of nothingness. If my bladder was bigger than a mouse I might still be sleeping.

That's all I got
Till next time
Peace out Y'all


©2014 Dave Squatch Ward




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