Who's a Fat Bastard - Slapping the Rooster

August 23, 2014

" You lookin at us!"

     I have to tell you. I'm not very happy with myself. For the second day in a row I didn't do my workout. There has been so much going on around here I didn't make the time. When I got up at 8 the Devlin kids had already been up for two hours. Country folk wake up early. I remember when I was a teenager going to the Greens farm. It was at the crack of dawn, I looked out the bathroom window and saw Old Man Green slapping the Rooster. I thought that was hilarious because that's what I was doing in the bathroom! At any rate, for the last two days I have been a Fat Lazy Bastard and today is Weigh Day Eve. 

     By the time I got up they had already eaten, ( $7 for a box of cheerios at 7-11, and I had no milk). Karen, Meaghan, Allie and Everly slept in a tent in the backyard. Under the raccoon feeding grounds.

Devlin Heaven, Hillbilly Hilton!

     Daryl and Braxton are down on the Guantanamo Bay day bed in the Green Room,  Kaydence is on the love seat in the living room, Clarissa and Ami are in the spare room and Lisa, Elvis, Nutmeg and I share a king size bed. Eleven people sleeping over. One bathroom. I have been trying to shower all morning. Screw it. Sometimes a man, needs to smell like a man! At 10 am the Devlins were joined by their oldest son Trevor and his girlfriend, who's name eludes me at the moment. They all piled into two of the biggest trucks I have ever seen and headed off to the PNE. I swear, for the last four years when they come down for the PNE, they are at the front gate when it opens and don't leave until they shut down. One year with three kids under four! 
     That's when Jennifer showed up to prepare for Bella's birthday party. Thirteen kids between the ages of four and nine. As the water balloons where being filled Bella opened her gifts from Gramma Lisa, Momma Lee and I.

     The actual party was from 1 pm to 4 pm with Pizza at 2 pm. I had day old tuna salad lettuce wraps.

There where tons of games for the kids to play. Balloon toss

 Egg races

 Pin the tail on the donkey

 And of course the pool.

Mexican Lizard boy, still not in the pool!

And of course you don't want to forget about the food. Pizza!

PIZZA!!!

I had picked Momma Lee up and we got back just as the Pizza arrived. After pizza. Pinata! Times three.

Star light, star bright gonna whack the crap outta you tonight!

Marina, Bella's abolita, made the Star and the Carrot. 

Tinkerbell was store bought and would not die. Finally the head fell off.  The kids were on Tinkerbell like a fat guy on a cupcake! They tore her to pieces with there tiny little six year old hands.

There was cake.

"You call this a piece of cake?"

And there were presents

Oh good, more stuff!

Everybody went home happy and our beautiful Grandaughter turned six surrounded by fun and love.

     I took Momma Lee home. When I got back there was still a line up for the bathroom. No shower for me. I may have lost a lot of weight, but I can still get funky in a hurry! I added another coat of deodorant and put on clean clothes. We were headed to m our friend Ricky's for his annual BBQ. His Mom, Gloria, makes the most wonderful lasagna. I only had a taste of it. Rick and his brother Ron, have these amazing Italian sausage made up from an old Gini family recipe for the party every year. Burgers, ribs, chicken and two tables full of side dishes and salads. I had a bun. I was weak.....and it was damn good!

I know that bun is going straight to my thighs

From their Burnaby backyard we saw a beautiful Pacman sunset. 

WacaWacaWacaWacaWacaWacaWacaWaca

Finished off the night strumming some tunes with friends.

Plays well with others

Some day I will have to time how long it takes from the time you decide to leave a party until you actually get into your car and leave. It must have taken forty minutes. You have to say goodbye to the hosts, so you get invited back again. The guys you where making music with, you have to say goodbye to them because you made music with them. The people in the back you don't know and never met...oh what the hell, everyone should get to meet me! We had two other parties we wanted to attend but as usual, life got in the way.

That's all I got.

Till next time.

Peace Out Y'all

©2014 Dave Squatch Ward