Who's a Fat Bastard - Elvis does all the time.

August 7, 2014

     The wonderful thing about Willy is his ability to commit totally to an idea. His idea was to get his nephew Josh to mow my lawn. Josh is an eighteen year old from Alberta and prefers the company of his XBox to actual human contact. 

Early Plaid Sighting

     I have been going full bore since 8 am. Laundry, floors, watering the indoor plants. Drinking coffee. No Name Instant Coffee, No Name Instant Buzz! Lisa went to work at 3 am, so I'm on my own. It's wasteful to make a whole pot and I like instant anyway. I did my workout in pieces today. I put a load in the washer and did my Four Stair Stretches five hundred reps. Then it was upstairs to do the floors. Our whole house, with the exception of our bedroom and the Green Room, has laminate floors. I used the floor duster then the mop. You could eat off this floor! Elvis does all the time. Well, when he's not licking his private parts.

     Thirty-five minutes later, I'm downstairs flipping the laundry and doing my One Stair Steps, one hundred of them. Then off to water my, I mean, Lisa's plants. Most of my adult life I had a plant. It was an Aloe Vera and I kept it alive for many years. It was "the plant." To tell the truth I was doing a lot of stand up back then so it was really my room mate Marguerite who kept Spike alive. That was a tough freakin plant. One time I sprayed it with ammonia thinking it was water. It turned bright yellow for a week, then grew like crazy. Lisa has/had this amazing Jasmine plant on our front deck. When we went to the Island, I forgot to get Christian to water it.

 Most of its leaves have turned red and fallen off. There are still some green leaves but, I suspect this once proud plant is headed for Charlie Brown Christmas land! I checked the dryer and had time to do my Belly Crunches. I thought those extra two crunches each set would be getting easier by now, wrong! Willy and Josh showed up and we got to the yard work and bar set up. I ran the weedwacker and Josh pushed the lawnmower. I don`t know what the hell Willy was doing?

Josh was Lawn Boy

I finished the weedwacking and the lawns were half mowed when we went for lunch at the Red Star, formerly the Austin Diner. I had Combo B, Willy had Shanghai noodle. Josh had pancakes. 
     Back from lunch, the yard was mowed, the bar area cleaned up and Josh was off to have a shower. Willy had a wee nap on the bench and I folded laundry. 
      Josh came back to pick up Willy. I had some shopping to do at the loony store. I need a couple of plastic table cloths to make my ice table for salads. I drive down the hill, find the perfect table cloths and discover I left my wallet at home. That's the second time in a week! 

Momma Lee hates being late

     Momma Lee has a nail appointment at 5pm. It was close but, the forgotten wallet threw of my delicate time table. We were five minutes late and Momma Lee was freaking out. Relax, I guarantee they want your money. As usual, I'm the only guy there. 

Hello Girls!

     All the pedi chairs were full so I had to wait a few minutes. Momma Lee was already being nailed, as I sat in the giant massage chair. 
     Her name was Cathy. She was tiny beside my big Squatch feet.

Vietnamese foot job

She didn`t talk much but she did a great job on my feet. I did a little shopping for Momma Lee while they were finishing her nails. 

Waitin on Momma Lee

I packed her up and got her home just after 7 pm. 
     I got home about five minutes after Lisa did. Another fourteen hour day. She looks so tired. The good news is she is done for the week. I had Fresh BC Ling Cod and a Squatch salad for dinner. 

I'd rather eat a piece of cod than a cod piece!

Lisa went to bed at about 10 pm and I wrote this. 
     Feeling good about Squatchapalooza Xll, Forever Plaid. Most of the prep is done. Place is looking good. Costco shop tomorrow and preparty party with the Lions game on the tube tomorrow night.


That`s all I got. 
Till next time.
Peace Out Y`all

©2014 Dave Squatch Ward