August 30, 2014
Lisa had already made a pot of coffee and was laying in wait to bushwhack me about my carbuncle. I'm not ashamed of it.
I have a carbuncle on my ass! Not on my big fleshy butt cheek, but on the seam where my giant butt cheek joins my overly muscular leg. It's some kind of cyst. Lisa is sure I got it from the Iron Maiden. It's the second one I've had in two weeks. I didn't notice the first one till it wasn't there anymore. I have been cleaning the Maiden after every use. I don't think exercise is the reason I have a carbuncle, on my ass.
"Every day is too much" the lovely Lisa whines into my ear, repeatedly. "But I need it, Baby" I whisper back " I need to feel it every day" "Take it slow Baby, rest up and you'll do even better" she said. " I can't honey, once I get started I gotta go till I'm done!" was my passionate reply. " Well don't come to me when you hurt yourself you big goof!" as she stormed off muttering to herself. Better her than me.
1000 Four Stair Stretches, 200 One Stair Steps and 180 Belly Crunches.
I had a couple of hard boiled eggs after I had a shower and did a carbuncle inspection. Let's just say it involved a mirror, a stick and some trick photography!
We were having some friends over for poker tonight so Lisa wanted to go to Woodies for chicken wings and a little NTN Poker tuneup. We had forty wings between us and a couple of diet Cokes. I don't drink much pop and I didn't want a coffee and I feel bad eating 25 cent wings and drinking water. Besides I haven't had any aspartame in weeks! Lisa beat me up at pretend poker. I couldn't buy a hand. There was U.S. college football on the TV. Nebraska beat the bejesus out of some small school playing because they need the TV money. It was 45- 7 in the third quarter when I gave up on it. When top ranked teams play each other it can be excellent football, but there are way too many record padding, cannon fodder games.
After we paid our bill, less than $20, we drove around the corner to Stupor Store. Lisa wanted some snacks to serve at the poker game. We had a couple of cancellations so we had only six players. Lisa is a caterer. A caterers number one fear is running out of food. It has never happened at our house. The players arrived having already eaten dinner.
They were met with a fruit platter for thirty and a cheese and sausage plate for twenty or so.
I was Mr Second Best tonight. I was rivered over and over. First game I hung in for third place, my straight to the jack losing to a straight to the queen. Damn Gordy! Sadly pays top two. $40/ $20. Nothing for me. The apples don't fall far from the tree, Jennifer got hammered too!
Gordy and Lisa cashed first game. Penny and Christian in the second game. I was out first in the second game so I played wii and ate cheese!
When Gord was knocked out we played a couple of games of Wii Bowling. I won them both. I did not however win any money! We were done about 11:30 and everyone headed home.
Lisa and I did the dishes, she washes I dry and put away. Lisa called it a night and I tucked her in. She is on a mission tomorrow morning with our friend Michele. They're headed up towards Whistler for a day trip. Michele is trying to lose those Lovesick Blues. I may or may not hook up with them for dinner. I was keen for them to go until I realised there is no NFL this Sunday! Bastards! We also watched the Whitecaps stink out the joint tonight losing 3-0 to Portland. It's almost 3 am and I'm still writing this blog. Okay, I stopped for about an hour to play a game of Marbles on the computer. Maybe all the years of working in the bar has changed my internal clock.
That's all I got.
Till next time.
Peace Out Y'all
©2014 Dave Squatch Ward
 |
| Carbuncle or Pork roast? |
"Every day is too much" the lovely Lisa whines into my ear, repeatedly. "But I need it, Baby" I whisper back " I need to feel it every day" "Take it slow Baby, rest up and you'll do even better" she said. " I can't honey, once I get started I gotta go till I'm done!" was my passionate reply. " Well don't come to me when you hurt yourself you big goof!" as she stormed off muttering to herself. Better her than me.
1000 Four Stair Stretches, 200 One Stair Steps and 180 Belly Crunches.
 |
| Reach for the toes |
 |
| Close up Step ups |
 |
| Two thumbs Up |
 |
| Like a muscle, only softer. |
We were having some friends over for poker tonight so Lisa wanted to go to Woodies for chicken wings and a little NTN Poker tuneup. We had forty wings between us and a couple of diet Cokes. I don't drink much pop and I didn't want a coffee and I feel bad eating 25 cent wings and drinking water. Besides I haven't had any aspartame in weeks! Lisa beat me up at pretend poker. I couldn't buy a hand. There was U.S. college football on the TV. Nebraska beat the bejesus out of some small school playing because they need the TV money. It was 45- 7 in the third quarter when I gave up on it. When top ranked teams play each other it can be excellent football, but there are way too many record padding, cannon fodder games.
After we paid our bill, less than $20, we drove around the corner to Stupor Store. Lisa wanted some snacks to serve at the poker game. We had a couple of cancellations so we had only six players. Lisa is a caterer. A caterers number one fear is running out of food. It has never happened at our house. The players arrived having already eaten dinner.
 |
| Liquor up front, Poker in the rear! |
 |
| Left to right Gord, Chips Hernandez, Lisa, Penny, me and Jen |
Gordy and Lisa cashed first game. Penny and Christian in the second game. I was out first in the second game so I played wii and ate cheese!
 |
| Meat, Cheese and fruit for the losers. |
Lisa and I did the dishes, she washes I dry and put away. Lisa called it a night and I tucked her in. She is on a mission tomorrow morning with our friend Michele. They're headed up towards Whistler for a day trip. Michele is trying to lose those Lovesick Blues. I may or may not hook up with them for dinner. I was keen for them to go until I realised there is no NFL this Sunday! Bastards! We also watched the Whitecaps stink out the joint tonight losing 3-0 to Portland. It's almost 3 am and I'm still writing this blog. Okay, I stopped for about an hour to play a game of Marbles on the computer. Maybe all the years of working in the bar has changed my internal clock.
That's all I got.
Till next time.
Peace Out Y'all
©2014 Dave Squatch Ward
No comments:
Post a Comment