Who's a Fat Bastard - The Guantanamo Bay Futon

August 24, 2014

     We went from pandemonium to peace in one  fell swoop. Actually, in a cloud of diesel fumes as the giant trucks of the Devlin clan roared off to terrorise the good people at the Cultus Lake Water Slides. It was Kaydence's fifth birthday today. This kid has a motor that never stops. She literally runs full speed till she crashes or, till she eventually runs out of gas. 

Happy Birthday tooooooo yoooooooo

They were up, packed and out of here by 9am. They came all the way from Campbell River and they wanted to be first in line to get a good spot. They are great people that we love and Daryl gave me more meat! Too bad he doesn't fish.

     After the Devlin's left I did a little puttering around, the compost and the recycling. Ami was up and hungry so we walked over to the Austin Diner for breakfast. I don`t usually eat before I workout or before I weigh myself, but this is our last day with Ami. Lisa and Ami were ready to go, which means I was ready too. I had sausage and eggs with hashbrowns and rye toast. I ate one piece of the toast. Hey, my eggs were over easy! I needed to soak up the yolk. I left the hashbrowns. Then they left...me holding the check!

     Lisa took Ami down to the mall and did some shopping for Momma Lee. I went down to the Green Room with two loads of laundry and started my workout. I put the first load in and then stripped the bedding off the Guantanamo Bay futon in the Green Room. 

Guantanamo Bay Futon

This futon is so hard it probably contravenes several United Nation resolutions!

As the washer went through it`s cycle I started my workout.

600 Four stair Stretches

 When I finished these I went and turned the futon bed into an equally uncomfortable Guantanamo Bay couch.

Guantanamo Bay Couch

The washer was just starting the rinse cycle. I had time to continue my workout.

200 One Stair Steps

I was flipping the laundry when Lisa got home. But I was on a roll, if I stopped to make nicey nice, I might not get started again. " Hey Babe, I'm working out and doing laundry" I bellowed from the prone position.

"Well then, do these too" I heard my little canary chirp from the top of the stairs followed by a steady stream of bedding from the spare room and towels. I didn't know we had that many towels. I was up to five loads all of a sudden.
I did 144 Belly Crunches.

I flipped the laundry, took the dry clothes and two sheets and a blanket out of the washer to hang on the line, and threw another load in the washer. Lisa got the call from Ami and went down to the mall to pick her up.
I then rode the Iron Maiden and listened to the Lions "Guaranteed Win Pregame Show" ( They lost!) until Lisa and Ami got back. That`s when Lisa came down and took this picture.

  She then told me to get my fat ass in the shower and come play Skip Bo with Ami and her. We got a case of these amazing peaches from the Okanagan. Some of them the size of softballs. Lisa had sliced one up for us to share.

What a peach!

I don't know why these people play with me, I always win. Then I gloat. Okay, I don't always win, but when I do win, I always gloat. Steve came by to say goodbye to us and Momma Lee before he heads down to San Fransisco on Monday. Good timing.
One of Lisa's oldest friends lives in Napa. Fourteen hours after the earthquake. Misty was still without power. She was fine and had cleaned up most of the mess. She's a chef and her pantry basically hit the floor. Our thoughts are with everyone affected by this. Mother Natures a bitch!
Ami's ride was here at 4 pm. We said our goodbyes.

Ami

She's spending time with family in Vancouver then off to Mara Lake for the long weekend. She's a wonderful kid and a pleasure to have around. When she was three years old I told her I kept the bad kids in my shed. One day she looked in and I was there by myself. "There's no kids in there." she said in her squeeky three year old voice. " They're in the basement!" I growled. She gave the shed a wide berth after that. She might still believe that!
     We were finally alone in our home. I mean alone! I was banished to tiny TV town to watch the Lions game. The TV in the bedroom is not that small, but it's not HD. Lisa is out here enjoying The Mary Tyler Moore Show, also not in HD. Not complaining, just saying??? At half time I sparked up the BBQ and threw some burgers on the grill for dinner. I made a Semi Squatch Salad, all I had was lettuce, a little bit of onion and a tomato.

Lisa's is up for work at 3:30 am. She was in bed by 8. I packed up the dogs and went to do a little grocery shopping so Lisa could get to sleep in peace. If I leave them here, they sit outside the door and whine. Lisa was asleep by the time I got home. I've been watching pvr'd episodes of The Mentalist and writing this post.

That's all I got.
Till next time.
Peace Out Y'all



©2014 Dave Squatch Ward