August 6, 2014
Three days until Squatchapalooza Xll - Forever Plaid. I am so far behind I think I'm ahead. I got together all the junk I've collected over the past year, including the trampoline I killed, for a trip to the dump. I was hard at it when the phone rang. It was Momma Lee, "Are you coming for lunch" "What lunch?" I asked "Today is family BBQ day" Momma Lee said " I know, at 11:30 right." glancing at my watch that read 11:37. "I'll be right there"
Talk about a speed shower. I was four minutes, including brushing my teeth! Looking slick in my best/last clean shirt with a collar. (Today is laundry day too) I was there before noon and half an hour before lunch was served. It was a good turnout for a Wednesday. They had a guitar player singing Jesus/country songs in the dining room and ABBA's greatest hit's cd playing out on the patio. It appeared I had met my Waterloo. Momma Lee wanted to sit on the patio. Two things I can't help but do when listening to ABBA. Sing along to all the chorus's and visualise the two hundred and fifty pound bearded man in a gold sequined dress, lip singing to Take A Chance On Me, I saw fifteen years ago at a club in the West End.
They put on a good spread, cheeseburgers and dogs and a couple of salads. All served by management and volunteers.
I had one of each, no buns and a ceaser salad. Momma Lee had a cheeseburger and a weiner with greek salad, ceaser salad and three deserts. The old gal sure ain't off her food.
We bought 50/50 tickets and lost. Momma Lee gave me her shopping list, and totally ABBA'd out I left about 1:30 when the born again cowboy singer moved to the patio.
I scooted home changed into my work gear and loaded up the truck. My "truck" is a Rav 4. It has a big fake air scoop on the hood so it looks mean. But the seats fold down and I can pack a lot of crap in the back. I loaded up all the stuff I was getting rid of and started out. First stop RONA, that's where the recycling for the new light bulbs is. Then I head down the hill to the Return It Store to recycle an old vacuum and two clock radios. They keep throwing them out of the Blue Box. Then finally to the dump! The minimum charge at the dump drops from $20 to $10 after 2 pm. Needless to say, the line up is all the way out to United Blvd. I have a truck full of trash, a radio, air conditioning and a go cup full of Suntea! Twenty minutes to get in. Two minutes to unload and another twenty to pay my $10 and get out of there. It's now 4 pm and I'm hungry, so I stop in at Woody's for some chicken wings. It's their speciality. Twenty wings, one Red eye and forty minutes later I'm on my way home. Lisa had texted me earlier that there was a three hour push. She got home at 6 pm a sixteen hour shift. Sometimes I don't know how she does it. We ate a quick dinner of meatloaf and salad, with rice and bean salad for Lisa.
And then she was gone. Poor thing could hardly keep her eyes open at dinner. She was tucked in by 7 and dreaming by 7:01! It was at this point I remembered I had a washer full of damp clothes and another pile waiting to go in the wash. I flipped the clothes into the dryer but left the wash until morning. Overcome by guilt I started my workout. I have never done it so late in the day. I think it's harder at night. Maybe it just takes longer to warm up. I struggled. The first hundred Four Stair Stretches were painful. I got into a rhythm and got through the ten sets of fifty but I was feeling it big time! My shoulders were snap, crackle and popping like a bowl of Rice Krispies with every reach. One hundred One Stair Steps went by quickly. Two sets of twenty five each leg. I think I'm going to increase the number of sets, I feel I could do more. That is until I do my belly crunches. I'm finding it harder to do these since I added the One Stair Step. One hundred and twenty Crunches. I made it, but those last two in each set are nasty. I didn't have an hour to ride the Iron Maiden, but I was doing manual labour all day long! And I don't mean having sex with a Mexican!
I'm about half way to Squatchapalooza ready. Willy and Josh are coming tomorrow to help with the decorating and the rest of the yard work. We have a giant spit and a thirty pound beef to stick on it. Ham, turkey and sausages galore. If your coming bring your musical talent, (we have a PA) your drink, a side dish and a chair. If you need more info message me. Don't forget our theme this year is Forever Plaid!
That's all I got.
Till next time
Peace out Y'all
©2014 Dave Squatch Ward
Talk about a speed shower. I was four minutes, including brushing my teeth! Looking slick in my best/last clean shirt with a collar. (Today is laundry day too) I was there before noon and half an hour before lunch was served. It was a good turnout for a Wednesday. They had a guitar player singing Jesus/country songs in the dining room and ABBA's greatest hit's cd playing out on the patio. It appeared I had met my Waterloo. Momma Lee wanted to sit on the patio. Two things I can't help but do when listening to ABBA. Sing along to all the chorus's and visualise the two hundred and fifty pound bearded man in a gold sequined dress, lip singing to Take A Chance On Me, I saw fifteen years ago at a club in the West End.
They put on a good spread, cheeseburgers and dogs and a couple of salads. All served by management and volunteers.
 |
| Free food and it's not prechewed |
 |
| Momma Lee has a new hat. |
I scooted home changed into my work gear and loaded up the truck. My "truck" is a Rav 4. It has a big fake air scoop on the hood so it looks mean. But the seats fold down and I can pack a lot of crap in the back. I loaded up all the stuff I was getting rid of and started out. First stop RONA, that's where the recycling for the new light bulbs is. Then I head down the hill to the Return It Store to recycle an old vacuum and two clock radios. They keep throwing them out of the Blue Box. Then finally to the dump! The minimum charge at the dump drops from $20 to $10 after 2 pm. Needless to say, the line up is all the way out to United Blvd. I have a truck full of trash, a radio, air conditioning and a go cup full of Suntea! Twenty minutes to get in. Two minutes to unload and another twenty to pay my $10 and get out of there. It's now 4 pm and I'm hungry, so I stop in at Woody's for some chicken wings. It's their speciality. Twenty wings, one Red eye and forty minutes later I'm on my way home. Lisa had texted me earlier that there was a three hour push. She got home at 6 pm a sixteen hour shift. Sometimes I don't know how she does it. We ate a quick dinner of meatloaf and salad, with rice and bean salad for Lisa.
I'm about half way to Squatchapalooza ready. Willy and Josh are coming tomorrow to help with the decorating and the rest of the yard work. We have a giant spit and a thirty pound beef to stick on it. Ham, turkey and sausages galore. If your coming bring your musical talent, (we have a PA) your drink, a side dish and a chair. If you need more info message me. Don't forget our theme this year is Forever Plaid!
That's all I got.
Till next time
Peace out Y'all
©2014 Dave Squatch Ward
No comments:
Post a Comment