Who's a Fat Bastard - It smells like victory!

August 28, 2014

Lisa and friends 

     I woke up this morning beside the lovely Lisa for the first time this week. Her job is insane. She and her co workers feed 120 people two meals a day out of a truck. Often with a midday move and a two hour push. It's nothing for her to put in a fourteen or fifteen hour day. A lot of nights I'm going to bed about the time she's getting up to go to work. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Three crazy days and then every weekend is a long one. I watched her sleep for a few minutes. Then she started to stir. I pretended I was asleep so she would make the coffee. I lay in bed watching the ceiling fan turn and thinking about the last few days. It's funny how as you get older your perspective changes. How the things that were once important to you turn out to be just things. The realisation that all of the truly valuable things in the world can't be bought. Love, friendship, compassion these are priceless, but in order for them to have any value they have to be given and received freely. I don't know why I'm all introspective today. Maybe because Clarissa left, maybe because I'm getting a cold, or maybe because I'm just a big girl! Suck it up Squatchy and hit the Green Room!

     I am actually feeling much better today. You know, I write this thing train of thought. Sometimes the train gets sidetracked. Sometimes it can't get out of the station. And sometimes it's a railroad car full of bullshit derailed into the fast flowing river of my mind. Personally I think that's when it gets fun. When I am excited about what I'm doing, the thoughts leap onto the screen on their own. At times, I am actually typing with more than two fingers! And I use my thumb on the space bar! 

      One thousand, that's a nice round number. One thousand, it has a nice ring to it. I even like the smell of it. It smells like victory! Or that could just be my deodorant wearing off! 

1000 Four stair stretches

I'm taking the scientific approach

     When I think that when I started doing these exercises, I wasn't able to reach my feet and I was bagged after 100 reps, I have to be pretty pleased with my progress. 

     I didn't start doing the One Stair Step until about a month ago. Because it's hard! I do 200 of them.

Help me Jesus!

     I started out doing fifty steps, twenty-Five each leg. It's the hardest one I do. Especially the left leg. I must be right footed or legged or can you be ambidextrofooted.

180 Belly crunches

Look Ma, No ass

      I changed the angle of the camera on the Belly Crunches. I did it because I'm wearing camouflage so you can't really see how big my ass is. 

     Sometimes when I see a guy walking around the mall in camo gear, I walk into them " Oh sorry man, I didn't see you there. You totally disappeared when you went past the Walmart sign!"

     If you see a guy in Camo in a U.S. mall you might want to hit the floor and play dead. 

     Okay, it took a while but it's now official. I like the series Suits on Netflix. It took half a dozen episodes to get me but, it got me. It's kind of a younger, hipper Boston Law. I watched an episode as I rode the Iron Maiden. 

Pre ride perspiration.

I was already a puddle before I even started the ride. It's gotta be good for you right? Sweating I mean. I put in an hour of hard (on my ass) time. 

Moist from the waist up, Invisible from the waist down

     When I get upstairs Lisa says to me " Wanna go play golf at Rupert?" "Would I, Would I!" I replied, giggling as I thought of the punchline of a politically incorrect joke about a guy with a hairlip and a girl with a wooden eye. There's that train again!

     I was in and out of the shower in no time flat. I was making sausage, schnitzel and eggs while Lisa nuked some cabbage rolls.

With sliced tomato and avocado

Cabbage rolls....yuuuck

     We stopped by to see Momma Lee on our way to Rupert Park. She sees the doctor every Thursday at her home and the staff monitor her quite closely the rest of the time. Not just because Lisa plies them with baked goods either! I had a long chat with the Doctor and he updated me on what was going on with Momma Lee. He has been working with seniors for a long time and seems to have a good handle on their particular health issues. He also has dealt with several seniors who have Parkinsons and has really been very patient in explaining the progression of the disease. They had a Family Gospel Group performing old time sing along Jesus songs. A piano, an Autoharp and a melodica, a keyboard you play like a clarinet. Except for a pitchy version of Jesus Loves Me, they sucked. 
     Now I get to do my second favourite thing to do with the lovely Lisa, play golf. 

It was a beautiful day to be on the course. Slightly overcast and around 22 degrees. A light breeze was blowing across the course and onto the highway, carrying the sounds of screeching tires, blaring horns and cursing morons off towards the North Shore. 

Preparation for Tee Off

It's a great little course that Lisa and I have played for years. It usually takes us about two hours to play a round.

Lisa Lawndart!

The longest hole is 120 yards and the shortest 55. It sure tightens up your short game when you play it regularly. Speaking of short games.

The Tee Shot at 11

The Putt

Birdie boy, Birdie boy, Squatchy is a Birdie boy. We sing that song when someone makes a birdie. If it's not me, I finish the song with a raspberry! I sang five times today. No raspberries!
     After the 11th hole we come to Grateful Bridge. That's what Gordy McT called it. I never cross it without thinking how fortunate we are to be who and where we are. Lisa always says, to I don't know who, " Thank you for another day" then she curtsies?

Grateful people on grateful Bridge.

     We don't keep score. We play skins. That way every hole is a new game. There are three points available on every hole. Score, closest to the pin and Birdie bonus. Last time we played Lisa beat me in a close match. Not today my little friend. 19 - 7 for the Squatchinator. To the victor goes the spoils!

Winning!

It's actually a no lose situation for me, the prize is the same when she wins too.
     Marina's vacation is almost over. 

Leaving on a jet plane

She flies back to Puerto Vallarta at noon Saturday. Two weeks gone in the blink of an eye. We had a family dinner for her tonight at Jen and Christians. 

Peaches and Cream corn

I had chicken and salad, oh yeah and radishes.

Cornless

I don't eat corn or potatoes or giant macaroon cookies or icecream. Not that I want people who eat these things in front of me, to be stricken with an affliction that causes their private parts to shrivel and die. Not saying I would mind if that happened.
     We had a nice visit. Marina is a sweetheart and we look forward to seeing her again soon. Either in PV or back here again next August. She came the first time at the end of September and would hardly leave the house she was so cold. I think that's where Christo "Mexican Lizard Boy" gets it from.

Mexican Lizard Boy con Padre

     

That's all I got.
Till next time.
Peace Out Y'all

©2014 Dave Squatch Ward