Friday, 12 December 2014

Who's a Fat Bastard - Duh

December 11, 2014

Mama Lee's Birthday Party.
      The drippy Joe was already cooking when I rolled out of bed
at 8:30. The lovely Lisa had managed to bank a solid ten hours of sleep. She was already up, dressed and raring to go. I was sitting in front of the computer putting together yesterday's blog, when the lovely Lisa informed me that Mama Lee  had an appointment with her doctor in Port Coquitlam. "Be ready to go in thirty minute's" she said. 
      In those thirty minutes, I had finished and posted my blog, had a quick shower and got dressed and ready to go. Twenty minutes after that we were out the door. I was only driving the taxi today. I wasn't going into the appointment. After I dropped Mama Lee and the lovely Lisa off, I drove down to the Salvation Army thrift store and bought a Jack Reacher novel that I hadn't  read. Lee Child is one of my favourite writers and Jack Reacher was one of my favourite characters until Tom Cruise played him in the movie and turned him into a an annoying midget. My apologies to all the midgets out there! Evidently "Little People" find that term offensive. My advice to them and everyone else who is offended by everything all the time, GROW UP!
      I sat outside in the truck happily reading my new book.  It wasn't even raining! Though it was fifty shades of grey and not the good kind where your getting banged in an elevator! Forty five minutes later I was helping Mama Lee get into the truck for the ride home.
      I dropped the lovely Lisa off at home, she had to go do some shopping for tonight's Mama Lee birthday extravaganza. I took Mama Lee home, helped her out of her raincoat and pushed her to her table in the dining room.  Relatively speaking she won the lottery with her new tablemates. They both can speak! Mama Lee has had a couple of tablemates who were not verbal.
Mama Lee's living room
       While the lovely Lisa was out buying the ingredients for her Paella, it's what Mama Lee asked for as her birthday dinner. What she doesn't know is her son Dr. Dan and his wife Shawn are in town. They live in Prince George where Dr Dan has a practice. We don't see them nearly enough. I went home, did the floors and cleaned the bathroom. I got dressed to do my workout and just as I finished tying my shoes my Pal Duffy showed up. He sells cars down in Whiterock. Midweek days off suck. You never have anyone to play with. Everyone else is working. Except me . When the weather is good we try to play golf. When it's raining, we sit around solving the world's problems and slurping down drippy Joe. We did this for an hour or so. When the lovely Lisa got home, I was able to ditch Duffy guilt free.  I finally did my workout. I did all of the floor exercises 



and 200 One Stair Steps. 
And I did them out of focus
I didn't ride the Iron Maiden, I had things to do. By the time I got out of the shower and dressed it was time to set up the living room.
      I love our house. We have lived here our whole married life. We bought the place together and we were married in the back yard at the best wedding ever! The only downside is that like most houses built in the 1950's it has a lot of small rooms. To do a dinner party we have to set up in the living room. This setup wasn't so bad. We have had to move all the furniture out onto the deck for holiday dinners where we have had up to thirty people.  
      I set it up with the poker table first, thinking that there was going to be seven of us then I did the math. We were going to be at least eleven people.  I took the poker table down then went out onto the back deck and got the big folding table. We can fit a dozen people around that in a pinch. 
      Chef Boy R Lisa was well on her way at this point. She was a veritable Veg O Matic! She sliced, she diced, she julienned! Okay she didn't Jullienne. I'm not even sure what Julienne is? A lot of work goes into making Casa Lisa paella. Shrimp, mussels, clams, chorrizo sausage and chicken cooked with onions and peppers in saffron rice. The ingredients alone for Casa Lisa Paella cost more than $100. Of course that will feed twenty people. I once told the lovely Lisa that I preferred Jambalaya to Paella. Big mistake. She would have been less angry if I told her I preferred her brother!
      At about 5 o'clock I went over and picked up Mama Lee from her place. She was still unaware that Dan and Shaun were in town. When I picked her up she was upset because Dr Dan wasn't answering her calls.  From the house phone Mama Lee called her brother Charles in  New Jersey and her sister Charlene in Maine. Charlie and Janice, whom you met on the cruise, are rolling along as always. Charlene is having some issues proving once again Golden Years my ass! Wishing her well.
David Shaun and Dr Dan
      Dan and Shaun are always late. They were supposed to be here at 6:00. At 6:45 we started to serve dinner without them. They walked through the back door just as the last of the dinner was placed on the table. Dan, Shawn and their oldest son David took their place at the table. It was a loud and boisterous dinner party. Bella and Christo didn't want to eat the Paella. "It looks weird" That battle raged on for all of five minutes then the kids took off to the green Room. You can lead a kid to Paella but you can't make them eat. Unless you want to ruin your own meal. They went after the Casa Lisa Paella like locust on a wheat field! I didn't have any. It's too good, too many carbs and once I started I'm bound to make a pig out of myself. If Chef Boy R Lisa ever offers to make you a birthday dinner this is the one to ask for. I myself dined on micro-waved day old chicken and a pork chop of unknown origin with a Squatch salad. As soon as Bro Peter finished eating he wanted to go home. Christian, Adam and the grandkids had already left.  By the time I got back from Peter's Mama Lee was ready to go and Dan and Shaun already had their coats on. We took a couple of family pictures and then I drove Mama Lee home.
      It's 5:00 pm I totally forgot to post this. I was writing this when Papa Squatch Dayscare started this morning. I got busy.

That's all I've got
Till next time
Peace out ya'll




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