Who's a Fat Bastard - 4:20 is self explanatory

December 21, 2014

      Today has multiple personalities. It's Sunday, Weigh Day

and Recovery Day. It's been a long time since I partied for twelve hours or stayed up till 4:30 in the morning. The fact that I didn't get yesterday's blog out till 4:20 is self explanatory. I was Slo Mo Squatch! Even the next day I am still asking myself, why the hell did I get out of bed at 8:30?

      Still that was hours before the lovely Lisa or Mary got out of bed. 

      I nuked a cup of yesterday's drippy Joe because I'm such a connoisseur of fine coffees. Then put together a fresh pot for the girls. My intention was to watch the local news but the talking heads were all ready on Fox football, and listening to Mike Ditka talk about how things were in his day is slightly less depressing than watching the news. 

      I also took this time to start writing yesterday's blog I thought I had started it at 3 a.m. but there were only three lines, the wrong date and I have no idea what I was trying to say.

      On the other hand I didn't have a hangover. I was able to dictate my blog to my tablet before the first kickoff. The Seahawks were playing the Sunday night game so my interest was minimal. It's a good thing I wasn't very interested in it because Mary got up shortly thereafter, followed by the lovely Lisa. Two women getting ready to go to Christmas lunch reliving the previous days parties

and waking up with a blast of drippy Joe. Except Mary who only drinks tea.

"Isn't your Christmas lunch at Queen Elizabeth Park at noon" I said looking at my watch "it's after 11 and you're in your pajamas."

"No problem" they said like I just fell off the turnip truck. At 11:55, after several black slacks, shiny top options, they were gone. 

I brought my workout mat upstairs so I could watch the football games while I did my workout. I did my floor exercises while I watch the football games. I was planning on doing my full workout and then I realised that I still had to make gingerbread and I hadn't finished writing yesterday's blog. 

I need  to do it all before the Seahawks game starts at 5:00. The blog was already dictated and now I just needed to transfer it to the

internet and add the pictures. So I did the gingerbread first

this is Chef Boy R Lisa gingerbread house recipe and I've never made it before. It's a sturdier construction quality gingerbread. "Just follow the recipe" Chef Boy R Lisa said. 

It was grease stained the Ink had ran, there were three different recipes, there were water stains and who knew the hashtag symbol meant pounds! The recipe also wasn't written in cups and teaspoons it was written in pounds and ounces.

I put the dry ingredients in one bowl. 

I put the shortening and the sugar into the mixer to be creamed, added the eggs and molasses and spices 

and finally the flour. This is where the hashtag thing came in.

The dough came out very wet. I couldn't imagine how you were going to make gingerbread walls out of this stuff. 

I put it in the fridge to chill like the recipe said and then I went to the office to finish my blog. 
      Mary and the lovely Lisa got back to the house about 4:30.

That would be like an eight martini lunch except neither one of them drink. I think they were staying away hoping I would get everything done while they were gone. What are they nuts? Mary had to get back out to the valley so she loved that's when I asked Chef Boy R Lisa about the hashtag on the recipe thing.

"That's the symbol for pound" she said
"Oh, In that case" I said as I set up the mixer again. I added one  pound of sugar to bring the recipe up to par and used the mega mixer to cream it. Then I added the two pounds of flour. Saved! Now as long as the walls don't collapse!

      I was really tired. The lovely Lisa was working Monday morning cleaning up the work truck for the holidays. I was banished to tiny TV town to watch the Seahawks annihilate Arizona and win their division. Can you say home field advantage.

At half time I was booted out of tiny TV town into the High Definition, big screen luxury of the living room. After the Seahawks won the game I faded in and out till I finally just went to bed at about 11:00.

      The lovely Lisa had a bad night. Something she ate didn't agree with her and she was up several times through the course of the night. She said she was feeling much better this morning.

I got Papa Squatch Dayscare going on so I'll have to finish this later

That's all I've got

Till next time

Peace out y'all

©2014 Dave Squatch Ward