Who's a Fat Bastard - Muey Lamo in the picture department

December 18, 2014

Family

Pre Script; That's like a post Script but this is at the beginning instead of the end. I was Muey Lamo in the picture department. I only took two yesterday. So other than lunch and my post workout selfie, the others are just filler from the past years.

The lovely Lisa and Mama Lee at Ricky's

      I don't know what I did to deserve the lovely Lisa but I'm sure glad we're together. She had one day off this week and she spent the morning writing Christmas cards. She's written out dozens of them. She has been for weeks now. I didn't even know that we knew that many people worth spending a stamp on! I'm kidding we know lots of people! While the lovely Lisa was single handedly keeping Canada Post in business I went downstairs and did my workout.
Ten sets of Ten reps of Front Lifts, Belly Crunches, Side Lifts
and No Stair Stretches. Two hundred one Stair Steps and finished my workout with season one  episode two of Lilyhammer while riding the Iron Maiden. I'm really starting to like the Steven Van Zant character. I find Johnny even more likeable than Tony Soprano.

Post workout Selfie

      I flipped the laundry, Thursday is usually laundry day, came upstairs made breakfast for the lovely Lisa and I.
Ham and eggs with tomatoes. Which by the way are ridiculously expensive right now. The tomatoes I mean. I got the ham at 30% off in the used meat section at Cheap Thrills. This is my theory about used meat. If I buy a ham three or four days before its expiry date and I put it in the freezer. It's just like freezing your sperm! Thaw that baby out and its just like it came straight out of the pig. The lovely Lisa hates it when I talk about used meat. So, if you're talking to her, don't mention this. 
      When I got out of the shower the lovely Lisa was standing there with her coat on. She gave me a kiss and she was gone Christmas shopping. 

Chef Boy R Lisa's from scratch

      I had an hour to kill before I was going to pick up mama Lee and take her to a doctors appointment. I went downstairs and flipped the laundry. I watched highly questionable a sports talk show that I quite like while I folded the laundry and finished off the morning pot of drippy Joe.

      They are trying to get Mama Lee into a intensive speech therapy program that has a waiting list. She must be getting closer because they sent her to an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist to make sure that her vocal chords are functioning properly. No damage or polyps. The lovely Lisa and I have been having some issues over

Mama Lee's speaking abilities and more to the point, in the way I interact with her in regards to the effort she makes in speaking

so instead of asking her repeatedly to repeat herself and getting both of us frustrated. I told Mama Lee that from now on, if I can't hear or understand what she is saying it never happened. I told her I wasn't going to put more effort into it than she does. I know she can do it because when we go to the speech therapist she spends forty- five minutes talking with no problem. It worked really well. After the first few minutes she was speaking loudly and clearly. Necessity is there mother of invention. 

Mama Lee in 2008

      The doctors office is in New Westminster. I got Mama Lee out of the truck in the loading zone in front of the building. Wheeled her into the Doctors office and took care of the paperwork. I went out to move the truck that I had left in the loading zone and when I walk out the door I see a Commissionaire writing a ticket to the guy who was parked in front of me in the loading zone. I had been there about 10 minutes and I did have Mama Lee's handicapped permit hanging on my rear view mirror, so I don't know if I would have gotten a ticket or not. Once I saw that I hadn't gotten a ticket I said "Merry Christmas" as I walked by. I pulled a u-turn and got free two hour parking right across the street.

Watch out for Commisionaires Santa

      We didn't have to wait too long and the Doctor was ready to see us. He asked us what he could do for us today and I was kind of surprised. Because I don't know what he was going to do for us today. Perhaps it's in the sheets of paper that I brought you. I told him he needed to do whatever it is he does to get people into the extensive speech therapy course offered at Burnaby General.

He knew right away what he needed to do. I'm just going to examine her vocal chords by putting my camera up her  nose. 

"Maybe I should wait outside"  I said, just in case this was gross. "That's okay, you're not in my way." It took in less than a minute to insert the camera, check her vocal cords and remove the camera. 

"There are some tremors in her vocal chords, the result of her Parkinson's but no damage or polyps."we were told. She will be able to take part in the course as soon as space becomes available.

I got mama Lee home in time for dinner, which was amazing considering the number of people who line up to get on the Pattullo Bridge rather than pay the toll on the Port Mann Bridge. When we went there this afternoon it took us fifteen minutes. Now 4:00 it took us forty-five.

      And that was pretty much my day. The lovely Lisa was still out in Christmas shopping hell. I was eating a bag of pork rinds and flicking back and forth between the football game, the basketball game and the hockey game. None of which had teams I actually cared about playing. Thursday Night Football was another dud. !t featured two teams that have four wins between them! Thank God the lovely Lisa got home at halftime and I didn't have to watch the end.

      Lisa showed me all of the stuff she bought.

She did great.

I'm so glad that she did it and I don't have to go and Christmas shop.

Chef Boy R Lisa doesn't normally work on Fridays but because it's the last meal before the Christmas holidays they want her to work her magic. She's planning 8 desserts and a Christmas light show.

Her wake up time is 5:30 a.m. she's going in two hours early

so that she will have the ovens to herself.

I went to bed at midnight without writing a word.

January with Bro Steve and Michele at Cypress Mountain

That's all I've got

Till next time

Peace out y'all

©2014 Dave Squatch Ward