Who's a Fat Bastard - Turn to ice in midair and crash to the ground!

December 1, 2014

      The first day of December hit me in the face like a slap when I open the door to let the dogs out. I know for you people living in Ontario and Alberta and other places where it's not fit for human habitation for three months of the year, this will sound a little whiny. But after all of these years on the Wet Coast my body has become adjusted to a more temperate climate. I don't mind seeing my breath. I just don't want to see it turn to ice in midair and crash to the ground!

      My day starts with a smile as I watch Elvis and Nutmeg

look for a spot to pee. Elvis goes off to the back of the property where there's giant pine trees and the snow never reaches the ground. Nutmeg sneaks off underneath the deck. She's funny she won't pee in the snow but she comes back to the door and she has a snow moustache.

      I have spent most of the day still dealing with this fricken kidney stone. I didn't pass it the other night, it just stopped moving.

It has started moving periodically all through the day. I have had periods of two and three hours where I felt fine, then out of nowhere that jagged pain shoots through your whole body. It only happened half a dozen times but goodness gracious me! The thing I find most annoying about it, besides the pain, is I can't keep my train of thought on the tracks. I'm all over the place. I had a whole lot of things I was planning on doing. Starting with doing the work out which I haven't done for almost a week now. I missed Weigh Day on Sunday so I weighed myself on Monday morning. 

Not Happy. I need to get back on track or Christmas will turn me into the Pillsbury Dough Boy!

      I had some banking and some shopping to do. Mama Lee called me and asked me if I could bring her some lemon. Mama Lee likes to drink lemon and hot water with honey whenever she feels a cold coming on. Which is all the time. One of her meds causes her nose to run.  I got out of the bank and realised I didn't have my wallet with me. I would have to go home and get my wallet to do the banking but I had enough change in the car to cross the street and buy a lemon from Safeway. At this point I'm only two minutes from Mama Lee's. 

Me and the Rat dogs got to Mama Lee's to find that she hadn't gotten out of bed. Mama Lee wanted me to fill out a couple of birthday cards that needed to be mailed. She's getting quite annoyed with me. The speech therapist gave Mama Lee exercises to do, to keep her vocal muscles strong. She says that she does them but??

I don't respond to her unless she yells at me. By that I mean it feels to her like she's yelling but the volume is at a conversational level. It's what the exercises try to get her to do.

      I took Elvis and Nutmeg to Como Lake. It was the shortest trip to the lake ever. We walk down to the lake and I take a couple of pictures. It's totally different when there's snow and ice on the lake. Just ask the ducks! 

Jesus complex, walking on water

I took the pictures with my phone, which has absolutely crummy pictures.  

I didn't know I was coming here and didn't have my camera. I started walking around the lake and realised I only had one dog. 

Headed for the truck

Princess Nutmeg was done and was standing by the door to the truck. I called her. I even walked across the bridge so she couldn't see me. Nothing.

I peeked around the bushes and she was on her back legs scratching at the side of the door. Beaten by a six pound dog.

When I got home I realised I didn't have my wallet with me because I left it in Lisa's car. No license, no credit cards. What the hell, I put up some more Christmas lights. It's taking me a long time.

      The lovely Lisa got home at about 4:00. She had a shower, ate the food that she brought with her and was in bed by 4:30. Her wake up time is 12:30 a.m.  The lovely Lisa drives one of the work trucks and they're working in Steveston tomorrow. 

      After the lovely Lisa went to bed, wallet in hand I went and did the things that I was not able to do all day. Back home I made myself a dinner of pork chops, eggs, broccoli and Squatch salad. 

This was my lunch, I forgot to take a dinner picture.

I watched another dull Monday Night Football game between two bad teams and tried to ignore that freakin kidney stone!! It's now noon Tuesday and the majority of this I wrote this morning. That stone is on the move again and it's making it very difficult for me to focus.

Who knew that your kidney was attached to your brain?

That's all I've got

Till next time

Peace out Y'all

©2014 Dave Squatch Ward