January 14, 2015
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| A fabulous Birthday on the left coast |
I'm going to use todays blog to reminisce. To put a little back story to my life to help you understand how I got to be who I am.
Fifty-eight years ago today I was brought into this world in Glasgow Scotland. My mom always said I was the easiest birth of her seven children. She said I popped out half grown and went to the fridge looking for beer. She told me the doctor never laid a hand on me I came out screaming. I've pretty much been making noise ever since. I was delivered at home by my grandmother and my mother had no drugs. She's been on drugs ever since!
I was the third of seven and the first boy. I was a happy kid, all arms and legs and ears. My ears fit now but they are the same size they were when I was born. It looked like two butterflies sitting on a peanut. I grew up in Toronto. I was a good student and a good athlete because I was crazy competitive. I wanted to be the best at everything I did. Until High School. That's where I got the name Squatch. I was standing in the appropriate line waiting to be told what to do when a guy with a whistle around his neck asked me If I was some kind of Sasquatch?. I was fifteen years old, 6'1" and 210 pounds. Within minutes it was shortened to Squatch. High school was also where I discovered Booze, Broads and Bud! That was the beginning of Mr Squatch's Wild ride. I had many opportunities in my life, most of which I squandered. I married and had a beautiful daughter. I was way to immature to deal with my reality and turned to drugs. Chased away my wife and daughter and went on a ten year binge. I was making lots of money in the bar business and indulging all of my appetites to excess. In 1985 I had a stroke, a cocaine induced arrhythmia. Getting out of a cab to buy a pack of smokes, I woke up in the hospital unable to move the left side of my body. I lay in a hospital bed for several days as the feeling slowly returned to my limbs. After a round of detox I went back to Campbell River and was staying with my best pal Stu and his wife Karen, afraid to do anything in case I relapsed. After a few weeks I got a call from Stu Scott of the Comedy Feast who told me he was opening a Yuk Yuks in Victoria and would I run it for him. I had been clean about four months and I needed a job. The second week we were open one of the acts didn't show. I wasn't going to give the patrons their money back so, on stage I go. They laughed as I talked to them. That's when I wrote my first joke. This was it.
"Hi, my name is Dave Ward but you can all call me Squatch. My Dad gave me that name. It's the noise my little brother made when the bunk beds broke!"
In 1990 while hosting a talent show I was approached by a woman who asked me if I had ever done any acting. Two days later she sends me on an audition and I got the part. A dancing couch in a lottery commercial. That was twenty-five years ago and Nancy Van Gogh is still my agent and friend. Along with Anna they have been such a large part of my success.
So for bookings call (604) 924-9195.
I've had success, I've had failures. I've made good decisions and bad. I met my wife, the lovely Lisa while working on So Weird. I reconnected with my daughter Jennifer and she and her husband Christian have blessed me with two beautiful Grandkids. Work is getting harder to find. There are not so many roles for old guys. I think it says something when my last role was as Santa! I just don't know what it says? I'm still out there trying.
That pretty much takes me to where I am now. It's been a long and winding road and I sometimes have found myself in the ditch. I have some regrets, said some things I would like to have back. Let people I loved slip away. I believe that we are all the sum total of everything we have ever experienced. I wouldn't change a thing. It took so long to get here and I finally like who I am. Like they say "Wherever you go, there you are!"
My Birthday started with ringing phones tons of birthday wishes in the form of texts, emails, phone calls and face book messages. Thank you one and all.
I was taking Mama Lee to Dennys at 11:30 for my free Grand Slam.
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| Mama Lee |
It's kind of guilty really, I only go to Denny's once a year. That's right, on my birthday, when it's free. Jen and Christo met us there.
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| Christo and Jen |
We had a nice lunch I built my own Grand Slam, four eggs and four sausages.
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| Free Grand Slam |
I had made an appointment for Mama Lee to get her nails done and I was going to get a pedicure. When we got to the salon the woman who does Mama Lee's nails was off and she wouldn't let anyone else do it. I skipped my pedicure took her home and went with the Rat dogs to Rupert Park and played nine holes of Pitch n Putt.
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| Either my arms are too short or my head is too big to do selfies |
Stopping at Grateful bridge to give thanks for the fifty-eight years I have had so far and the amazing people I have in my life.
The Rat dogs love to golf. I don't know how to tell them it will stop when they open in the spring.
I share a birthday with Penny McTaggert.
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| Zodiac Twins |
She's my Zodiac Twin and we usually get together for dinner on our birthday. We were meeting up at the Bavaria Haus in NewWesminster at 6:00. It was just after 4:00. I had time to do the first workout of my fifty-ninth year.
I was showered and shaved and out the door at 5:30. I got a text from Chef Boy R Lisa telling me that they were packing up the truck and she was going to be able to make it for dinner. There were seven of us around the table.
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| Kari, Penny and Gord behind the hand. |
Along with Gord, Penny, the lovely lisa and myself, Kari, Penny's daughter and her fiance Glen were there as well as Chantelle, Kari's daughter.
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| Chantelle and Glen |
The food was good and the conversation lively and loud. Chantelle is packing up and going to Europe for an indefinite period of time. We spent a month in Prague a few years back and had lots to talk about. It was close to 9:00 when we left the restaurant. Stuffed full of Schnitzel and cabbage.
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| Schnitzel and Cabbage |
Only one more stop on the birthday schedule. We stopped by Annie and Willie's for a pot of tea on our way home. Annie wasn't home from work yet but would be shortly. She works at the government liquor store. We had tea and biscuits, passed a pleasant hour and headed for home. Not feeling a day over fifty-seven!
That's all I've got
Till Next time
Peace out Y'all
©2015 Dave Squatch Ward
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