January 30, 2015
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| Cargo ship in the clouds |
Today was one of those days that come by on the Left Coast maybe twenty or thirty times each winter. Sorry. I feel guilty just calling what we have winter. It was 14 degrees today, that's about 58 for my American readers. Who live in the last place on earth not using the metric system. I am feeling a lot better today. My war with the Poop Fairy seems to be over, or at least a truce has been called. Christian didn't work today so I didn't have Papa Squatch Dayscare. I bailed yesterday and Jen ended up taking Christo to work with her.
I'm not one to lay around feeling sorry for myself. I prefer to try to go on normally and make everyone I come into contact with as miserable as I am. I'm pretty good at it. I don't seek out attention. But when some one/thing gets my attention, I can be short tempered and mean! Instead of my usual short tempered and sarcastic! I have, over the years, spent many hours chasing the lovely Lisa around the house apologising for some comment I made. Most times I don't even recall what I said let alone why it pissed her off! That didn't happen today.
We were in bed before 11:00 last night so naturally I was up and at the keyboard, drippy Joe in hand before 6:00 a.m writing the double header I posted yesterday. It took a lot longer than it usually does. I took an antihistamine yesterday and they always make me fuzzy and easily distracted. I know, it can be hard to tell the difference! The lovely Lisa won't let me take Neo Citran! She says I get totally wasted! I say "and the problem is?" It makes me sleep like a dead thing. The lovely Lisa is freaking out, checking for a pulse!
Three hours and four cups of drippy Joe later the blog was posted. The lovely Lisa and Bro Steve were going to go and try to get some use out of their Cypress Mountain Season Passes.
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| Tough Skiing |
Ski Bunny Lisa has been up twice already and this is Bro Steve's first time this year. Ski bunny Lisa was getting ready to meet him in North Vancouver for the ride up the mountain.
I was geared up, gave her a kiss, just in case she hits a tree. I don't want to be that guy on the news saying I never got to kiss her goodbye. So I slipped her some tongue and headed down to the Green Room for my workout.
What ever I got going on is rapidly converting expended energy in to rivers of sweat. I usually stay relatively dry during the floor exercises. Not today I was dripping by the third set! By the tenth set, the small of my back was creating suction against the M B Ho Memorial Pilate's mat when I moved. Mole Boy is still with us so Memorial is not technically correct because he's not dead. He will be some day and I wanted to beat the rush! The Belly Crunches were the worst. Every time I pulled my legs up it sounded like I was farting. I could hardly do the exercises I was laughing every time it happened. Hey, farts are funny! Ask any kid. Funny noise, funky smell, it even feels pretty good. I'm a kid, farting is way up on my list of things to do today. Fifteen sets of my five floor exercises and 200 One Stair Steps and I was liquid. I watched an episode of Brooklyn Nine Nine. Funny show. It's only twenty-five minutes long and I had plans.
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| Ridden hard and put away wet! |
I grabbed a quick shower, a plate of sausage and eggs, grabbed the Rat dogs and my sticks and we were off to play golf at Rupert Park. What a glorious day it was in Vancouver today.
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| Number three, there's a creek in front. |
January 30 and I'm playing golf in my shirt sleeves. The best part of it is, I had a better round than Tiger Woods did! The Tiger seems to be toothless these days. I think he just needs to go back to banging waitresses and he'll be fine! The greenskeeper was at the course changing the hole locations when I got there. The course is closed but they still maintain the greens. Sort of. If the people playing for FREE would fix a ball mark once in a while the greens would be in much better shape. I was fixing three or four on every hole. The Greenskeeper had no problem with the Rat dogs. Elvis of course barked his head off at him and dropped a dog bomb on the first tee box. The best part about Rat dogs, Rat sized dog bombs!
I was playing 1,2,3 as I always do when I play with myself. Oops, I mean by myself. I could have gone back and changed that but I never met the dick joke I didn't like!
Fate, Karma, Joss, call it what you want, it was out to get me. Not only did I not get on the green in three tries on number one, I had a wardrobe malfunction on tee box number two. I left my first shot five yards short of the green. On my second shot, as I swung through the ball my belt broke and my pants fell to my knees. I picked a great day to go Commando! With the weight I've lost my pants are hanging off me and I'm too cheap to buy new ones until I get where I want to be. One side of the buckle had become detached from the belt so I tied a knot in it and still had lots of belt left over after I wrapped it around.
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| Belt to Spare |
I have lost more than eight inches off my waist and even more off of my legs. Which are starting to look like tooth picks stuck into a cocktail weenie! I wasn't playing very well today.
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| Number seven |
I made only two ones all day and missed all three four times. I played twelve holes. The last two with Nutmeg under house arrest. On the tenth hole she went missing. I called and called and finally I saw her all the way on the other side of the course. She meandered back towards me, stopping to eat something she found on the ground and once more to roll in something. I put her on her leash and attached her to my golf caddy. It was ironic that it happened as we approached Grateful Bridge.
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| Help Me, Pleeeeeeeese |
Nutmeg was not grateful. I played number twelve and then took the Rat dogs back to the car.
I was home about 3:00, ate the last of my pears and waited for Ski Bunny Lisa to come off the mountain. I got her a GO PRO last year and the results have been mixed.
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| The view is worth the trip. |
Last time she went up she brought back a twenty-three minute video of her eating her lunch at the car and going to the bathroom. Well, her point of view of going to the bathroom. You did get a good look at her in the mirror while she was washing her hands. She's so cute in her ski stuff!
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| There were two runs open |
Be nice to see some ski footage this time. The problem is the camera is on her helmet. You can't tell if the camera is on or off once it's on your head. She was skiing with Bro Steve today so I'm hopeful.
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| Bro Steve, not to confused with Br'er Rabbit |
The lovely Lisa had made plans to meet Gord and Penny at the Rivers Reach at 5:00. At 4:55 the lovely Lisa walked through the door with her arms full of ski gear. I was already showered and dressed and watching the Raptors game on the tube. The lovely Lisa went into hyper mode changed and ready to go in fifteen minutes. In the car she told me they were expecting us at 5:30. Which is exactly the time we arrived. Gord and Penny already had a table and my ex wife Sharon was there with them. It's good to see her out and about. She has been having a terrible time with her breathing. Respiratory Therapy and exercise are really making a difference for her.
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| Gord and Sharon |
Calamari, lettuce wraps and chicken wings for dinner. They do half price appies 3:00 until 6:00.
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| Rivers Reach Appy Feast |
We spent a couple of hours there watching the Raptors beat Brooklyn in overtime. I didn't see it because they turned all the TV's to the Canucks game at 7:00 with twenty-seven seconds left in overtime of the Raptors game and the Raptors up by three. I checked the score on my phone so I knew what happened. Isn't this a sports bar? Bastardo's!! The Canucks gave up the first goal to the Buffalo Sabres, the worst team in hockey. We packed up and went over to Gord and Penny's to play a little cards and watch the rest of the game. The Canucks dominated the game but stupid penalties came back to haunt them. Buffalo scored twice on the power play to make the score seem close, but it was all Canucks. We sat and played cards, drank coffee and chatted. Since they moved into the apartment they mostly come to our place. Four people are comfortable at their place. It's small but quite nice. Gord took my money after the lovely Lisa stabbed me in the back. That's why it's called Screw Your Neighbour not Love Your Husband. At least that's what she says.
We headed for home after the second period and I watched the end of the game while the lovely Lisa got ready for bed.
That's all I've got
Till Next time
Peace out Y'all
©2015 Dave Squatch Ward
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