Tuesday, 20 January 2015

Who's a Fat Bastard - May 1, 2015

January 18 / 19, 2015


      There was excitement in the air. Today was NFL Championship Sunday. When I rolled out of bed I slipped into my Seahawks Jersey.
The Seahawks were going to be in tough today against the Green Bay Packers. With the smell of drippy Joe filling the air, I turned on the NFL Today to hear what the talking heads had to say.
They all said it was going to be Seattle and New England who were going to win today. I didn't believe them. I went across the street to the 7-11 and put $10 on Seattle and Indianapolis. The first game started at noon.
      And that was it! I wrote the above paragraph Sunday night and haven't written anything since. After the Seahawks game I got a call from Karen in Campbell River. Stu was on his way back from two weeks vacation in Palm Springs and doesn't know how to read an itinerary. It's 7:00 twice a day. Stu picked the wrong one. New England proceeded to beat up the Colts. I stared forlornly at my half right ticket. It wasn't even half time and there was no miracle recovery coming. 
      The phone rang in the middle of the Seahawks game. It was Christian telling me that they were at the hospital with Christo. The Grandkids were playing in their room when Christo fell awkwardly and was knocked unconscious for ten seconds. He was awake and throwing up. They spent close to eight hours in emergency while he was under observation. Thank God he has a Ward head! There's probably a dent in the floor. Jen called when they were home and the little big guy had bounced right back. Bella was so upset " I almost killed my brother" she said teary eyed. She was more upset than Christo.
      It was 6:30 when the lovely Lisa went to bed. Her wake up call was set for 1:15 a.m. I had to leave for the airport to pick up Stu at 9:00. There was no traffic and I made it to the airport twenty minutes early. $4.50 per half hour to park. That's almost as bad as hospital parking! Stu came through customs all smiles and no tan. How do you spend two weeks in Palm Springs and come home whiter than when you left? That's Stu. Two pack habit and a Condo tan. He told me he went to the pool every day. He must have went in a Burka!
      I haven't seen Stu since August so we had a lot of catching up to do. He looked really good, except for being the colour of a coho salmons belly. We sat up until the wee hours talking. Stu went to bed just before Chef Boy R Lisa got up for work. That's when I wrote the first paragraph. You know. Get a head start on the blog.

January 19, 2015  

      It's now Tuesday morning. I feel like I just came off a three day bender. I think I'm getting that thing that's going around again. What do you call that? Oh yeah. Food bingeing. When you add that to the disappointment of weigh day, I was in a funk that lasted all day. My day started at 10:00 when I got up and made a pot of drippy Joe. That's when I weighed myself. Stu got up shortly after that. I had booked him a flight back to Campbell River on Pacific Coastal airlines. It was leaving from the South Terminal at 12:30. After I dropped Stu off I turned around and went home to that lying, stinking scale! 
     It would appear that Birthday week has extracted a high price for the few moments of pleasure it provided. "You have to have a slice of cake. It's your birthday" I heard repeatedly from the people who love me and evidently feel I was getting too thin?  It's not about the four or five pieces of cake I had. It's about priming the pump. Once I started putting it in, it just kept going! I would walk past a plate of sugar coated chocolate bombs and they would mysteriously end up in my mouth. They're so small. How much harm can they do? I'll tell you. Five pounds worth of harm. That's like a pound a day! Pissed at myself! 

      Well, it's a new day. I need to get back on track. I don't know why I thought I could eat like that and not put on weight. Especially when my wish, when I blew out the candles, five or six times, was to enjoy this wonderful diet cake! Idiot!
      After Stu left I was in a real funk. I packed up the dogs and headed to Mama Lee's. It wasn't the best thing to do. Mama Lee's mobility is becoming more limited all the time. She wants a new wheelchair but the problem is not the chair. She's just not physically able to move herself any more. I had a discussion with Virginia, the head nurse about the chair. She had checked it out the chair and it worked fine. I made a nail appointment for Mama Lee and a pedicure for myself Tuesday at 1:00. She started listing off the concerts she wanted to see and gifts she needed to buy and stuff I don't even understand. I left more frustrated than when I arrived. 
      I took the Rat dogs to Como Lake. The sun was shining and it was twelve degrees. 

I walked around the lake a couple of times lost in thought. I was having doubts about the whole blog writing thing. I was thinking about the commitment of time and looking for a way out. It usually comes pretty easily. Lately it's been more of a struggle. My life has settled into winter hibernation mode. I feel like I'm repeating myself. Doing the same things over and over again. I started thinking about how to end this project and I have decided my last Who's a Fat Bastard blog will be May 1, 2015. That will be one year of blogs. Just putting it into writing takes a weight off my shoulders. I need to lose another ten pounds before I slip into my leopard skin thong. I hope I make it before I wrap the blog up. 275 pounds. That's my goal.


That's all I've got
Till Next time
Peace out Y'all


©2015 Dave Squatch Ward

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