Who's a Fat Bastard - Quivering Pile of dog meat.

September 24, 2014 Scaredy Dog!      I woke up this morning with 3 dogs snivelling and shaking with fear. All of them trying to get underneath me. Since the three of them combined, don't weigh as much as my head, I didn't like their chances. It was the first big storm of the season and they weren't taking it well. The rain was just pounding down, and the noise as it hit the polycarbonate roof on the decks was deafening. When I opened the door to go out on the deck to take a picture, they all lost their minds.       I went outside to check the driveway, we have been the victim of floods three times. I built a brick wall along the front of the house to stop water from building up. A very low wall. I had also cleaned out the catch basin this year so everything should be flowing along good. I could see the water coming down the driveway like the waves at Bondi Beach! Only to be smashed against the mighty Squatch wall! Okay, it's only one row of bricks but it works. The Great Wall       With the integrity of Casa Lisa secured I returned to find a dog bomb in the middle of the kitchen floor.  The Perp! I had already let them out but the way it was raining, they probably never left the deck. I would normally scold him and put him outside with a stern warning. It was too crappy out for that. Another wave of rain hit the house, and I was once again buried under a pile of quivering dog meat. Quivering pile of dog meat! I was expecting the grandkids about 8:30 instead I got a phone call at 9 telling me Jen had dropped them off and could I pick up Christo at noon and Bella at 2:45. I was occupied with scaredy dog therapy any way. The rain let up about 11 and I was able to separate myself from the pack long enough to throw in a load of laundry. I started to check my email and next thing you know it's 11:45 and Christo needs to be picked up. We stop by no Frills on the way back. Christo is only four, but in the true Ward tradition he is the size of a six year old. His birthday is in March. He was so disappointed when he found out he wasn't going to go to kindergarten till next year.  A child trapped in a giant body! He can count, he knows all his letters and is trying to read. In another year, he could hit puberty and be bigger than his teacher! I fed him a hotdog, because he loves them, with a bit of party mix and chocolate milk. I had fried chicken breast lettuce wraps and a nice Squatch salad. After lunch Christian showed up. He's working for a stone mason and learning the trade. It rained so hard the day was washed out. The stone mason happens to be my neighbour Rod. Who also fishes and gave me a beautiful Sockeye salmon the other day. I don't know why I felt the need to tell you that, but what is done, is done. I guess because it was a really nice thing to do. I got one from Christian too! My plan was to put Christo to work in the Green Room. The heels of my shoes are screwing up the carpet. I have the solution. Christo put all the letters in. I bought this alpha mat for the kids and they never used it. It's been sitting in a rubbermaid tub since the day they got it. Christo and I put it together and then put it to use! Mac liked it too We spent forty minutes doing various stretches and basically just rolling around on the floor. I had some running around to do and it was time to pick up Bella from school. She's in grade 1 and goes to school right across the street from our house. Since her Dad was off work early he was going to pick her up.      I stopped in to see Momma Lee, she has been good spirits lately. She tells me, "Something good is going to happen!" I said, " It already did. I'm right here!" We talked about the rain that morning, their are a lot of skylights at her place, and the location of her son Steve, who is house sitting in Oregon and will be home tomorrrow.       Everything but the first paragraph I wrote at 11 pm Thursday night because of events beyond my control. Now the days are running into each other and I remember Lisa got home from work about 6:30. It's her Friday night and we usually like to do something Friday nightish. But first she must give the dogs a treat in order to buy their love. How sad is that?  I don't do that, they love me for who I am......and I smell like bacon! Friday night didn't happen! Fifty hours in three days and she was bagged. I put together dinner for us and she was asleep on the couch by eight. Chicken, meatloaf and a Squatch salad with ginger beef...yummy       As you know my laptop fan is kaput. I tried to write on my tablet using a voice to text app. It worked great, right up until two hours worth of work disappeared in a heartbeat. I was so pissed I went to bed at 11:30 with only one paragraph written. I had planned to finish first thing this morning but as usual, life got in the way. That's all I got. Till next time. Peace Out Y'all ©2014 Dave Squatch Ward