Monday, 28 July 2014

Who's a Fat Bastard - Backhoe full of wood

July 26 & 27, 2014


" I'm afraid I was making quite merry last night. It's only once a year" to quote Bob Cratchet upon showing up late for work. I was making rather merry myself! The weather was great, the food was perfect and the company eclectic.Let's start at the start.
     I walk out on to the back deck in Campbell River, coffee cup in hand, three small dogs peeing all over the place and Mount Washington looking close enough to touch. It was warm and sunny and even here, five blocks away, you can still smell the ocean. And the pines, and the dog bomb Elvis just dropped. He was like a freakin pigeon up at the Devlin's. Every time I looked at him he was chewing something. 
     I sat out on the deck with the dog bombs until I heard Stu get up. Lisa got up about the same time and we all sat out in the sunshine enjoying the quiet. This is at 11:00am. What's wrong with these people! Shouldn't something be happening by now? I don't mean quiet like Vancouver quiet, I mean small town quiet. No background hum or buzz, no airbrakes hissing or tires squealing. Just the sound of the wind through the Aspens, the birds in the pines and the sound of Nutmeg licking my toes. Why do some dogs do that? I think maybe she's tasting me for later.
     Daryl gave me some Bluebeary sausage yesterday. That's right, bear meat with wild blueberries. I cooked them up with eggs for breakfast. The blueberry made them a little sweet for my taste but other than that, it tasted like sausage! 
     After breakfast, Stu had some things to do before going to the Hoedown. Lisa and I got ready. Packed the cooler and a change of clothes and we were off at the crack of two! 
     We stopped at Stupor Store so Lisa could get more cherries. $1.94 lb and best cherries this year. She is a cherry eating freak. I bet she has already eaten fifteen pounds of cherries this season. Her fingers are stained red, her lips are stained red, her tongue is stained red and by the way, cherry flavoured too. Tastes way better than chapstick!
     Now that we were cherried up, we began our trek to the Hoedown. They live about ten kilometres outside of town on the backside of Elk Falls. The road runs parallel to the Campbell River and it was jammed with parked cars. 


We found a parking spot just before the road turned away from the river. There was a trail head right there and we could see the river one hundred yards away. We made our way down to the river bank and saw dozens of people fishing. Not just standing around with a line in the water but actually catching fish! Most of the people we could see were fly fishing. 

If you have never seen a BC river when the salmon are running, it is amazing. These were pinks and lots of them. We stood behind a guy sitting on a rock, who caught three fish in about ten minutes. 

Everywhere you looked on the river, people were catching fish.
     "Hey! Would you like a fish" I heard. I didn't know who said it or who it was being said to. I stared dumbly out towards were I ythink the sound came from." Yeah, you" he said pointing right at me. " They're great on the BBQ."  
" Sure, thank you, and we are on our way to a BBQ right now" I told him. So he says to his wife, who is fishing right beside him. "Go set them up a couple of fish"  she came up with a net full of fish to add to the two they already had. She picked out the two biggest ones and said "Can I clean them for you?" 


Before we could answer she had her knife out and fish guts were floating down the stream. Lisa went and got a pan out of the car for the fish and I watched Rockfisher catch and release four or five more fish. He would holler every time he got one on. You could see the Salmon in the river there were so many. 

We said our thank yous and goodbyes and headed for the Hoedown. 

     The Devlin place is out in the woods. They have an acreage that is mostly cleared that backs on to crown land. There is a sign that says Devlin Rd but it's handmade in magic marker by a three year old. The GPS says  "Off Road". 

     We arrived just after 4:00 Salmon and cherries in hand. Lisa prepped the Salmon and I mingled. Dinner was at 6:00. I have to say Campbell River is a different world. To start with, they are breeders! 

Every one at the party had three or four kids. Most of them with a brand new one! And these kids, they just run around like a bunch of ...kids. No adult supervision, no rules, just fun. Making up their own games, catching frogs by the pond, trailer rides behind the ATV and eating as much watermelon as they wanted. 

The older kids looking out for the younger kids. That`s how I remember growing up, and sadly, I haven`t seen it for a long while. I`ve never seen such happy kids.
      Dinner was excellent. Hot dogs for the kids. Ham, Pulled Pork, Salmon and ten kinds of salad for everyone else. So much food and all so tasty. I stuck to meat, coleslaw and green salad. A couple of times! 


     After dinner you would think the fire would get going and the guitars would come out. Not at Devlin`s Hillbilly Hoedown. Nope. That`s when you break out the dirt bikes! Five or six of them! Being driven by six year olds! Through the campsite! Now that`s fun. 

Lovely Lisa Scooter Trash took a spin on one of the 50cc bikes. I didn`t. I would look like the bear in the circus! Motocross ended at dark and in true Hillbilly tradition Daryl went to get firewood, with his three year old daughter driving the backhoe!

 He dumps half a bucket of giant wood pieces on to the fire pit a half gallon of gas and voila, FIRE! 

     We had three guitars playing at one point Trent and Andy and myself. We played till about 2:am and Lisa, Stu and I came back to town. Stu drove with Lisa and I drove Stu`s Lincoln town car. I haven`t drank recreationally in several years. I got tired of apologising and paying for all the crap I broke. I`m too big to be out of control. I was up until 4:00 am shooting the breeze with Stu, then up at 8:00 and headed for the ferry. We stopped to see our friend Alida who is in the hospital in Nanaimo. They wouldn`t let us bring the dogs in so I stayed in the car. Lisa always freaks out about leaving the dogs in the car, but she leaves me in the car all the time! "I`ll be right back, I just need one thing" Forty minutes later me and the dogs are panting! We made the 12:50 ferry. Then she left us in the car for forty minutes at Stupor Store!

That's all I got.
Till next time 
Peace Out Y'all


©2014 Dave Squatch Ward


  

      






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