Who's a Fat Bastard - Things that go boom in the night

July 30, 2014

     I was up this morning before the alarm. That's not unusual on days when I have an audition. I don't like to be hurried and I don't want to talk. Lisa never got home till 4 am so she was still asleep. Besides, after fourteen years she has my shtick down pretty good. I make a cup of coffee. 

Coffee

Still in my PJ's, I run the lines over and over. Reading them out loud to myself. Different tones, different emphasis and inflection. By the second cup, I'm looking in the mirror, what do I look like when I'm saying these words? Is it believable to me? Then I shave and hop in the shower, all the time running my lines out loud. By the time I'm in the audition, I want whoever is there to believe the words are mine! One line or one hundred lines, I need to own it. This particular audition is only two lines. I could learn them in my sleep. I just prefer to go through my preparation the same way every time.  My call time is 11:50. The note from the casting director, be on time, we take lunch at 12:00 sharp! Mmmmmm, low blood sugar and already cranky! Piece of cake! As I get dressed I'm working on my body language. What message am I sending with my posture? Next I pick out a head shot.

Promo Squatch

I always want to be early so I leave the house at 10:15 for the thirty minute drive to the studio. I arrive a full hour ahead of my call time. I find a parking space, that alone is like winning the lottery! I turn on 650 senile and run my lines over Frank Sinatra and BTO. Fifteen minutes before my call time, I check my look once more and head into the studio.

Pretending I'm Driving

I fill out the paperwork and take a seat with all the other hopefuls. I know most of these guys. There's only so many fifty something character actors in Vancouver. Anyone of us could play the part. It will all come down to look. When it was my turn I walked into the casting room. The casting director, the camera man and the girl I was reading with were there waiting. I said hello to everyone. Slated, did my thing, and thirty seconds later I was on my way out the door. Now I put it out of my mind. Hopefully, I will get a call back to meet the director and read for him personally. The main thing is to be prepared and trust your instincts. I left the room feeling good about what I did. It's out of my hands now. So I put it out of my mind.

     As a reward for my good work I treated myself to Tentatsu Sushi for lunch.

Best Sushi in Vancouver

I meant to take pictures, but I was too hungry and by the time I remembered the food was gone. I did the $6.95 lunch special. Miso, sumonomo, Tuna roll, Yam roll and teriyaki chicken.

     After lunch home for my workout. Four stair stretch, thirty reps five times each leg.

One hundred one stair steps, alternating legs each twenty five steps. This is the hardest exercise I do! 

Still looking for that perfect angle to take a workout selfie of the crunches

And finally another episode of Homeland. Twisted bastards.

I appear to have cut my head off. Still a solid workout that take about ninety minutes to complete.
     I got a call from Al. "Do you want to go to the fireworks tonight. " Sure, why not, Lisa is working anyway."
"I'll pick you up at 6:30" as he hung up the phone.
     I hurriedly showered and dressed. It was 4:30 and I still wanted to visit with Momma Lee. I spent an hour with Momma Lee and the dogs in the courtyard at her place. There was a nice breeze this evening after a stifling hot day.

I took the dogs for one quick lap around Como Lake and we were home just after six. I ate all my leftover Squatch Salad and then watered the gardens. My friend Al is ex Canadian forces, and then a Realtor for twenty odd years. If he says 6:30, he means 6:30. At 6:30 precisely, he was standing at my backdoor. A few odds and ends stuffed into my pockets and we were on our way.
     Thanks to Al's horrendous physical condition, and his handicap pass we got great parking. 

Nice car ...park

I was hungry and getting hungrier by the second as we scurried by the armada of foodtrucks. I had my first hot dog bun in three months, it was awesome!

Hot Dog

 Hat Dog

Add caption

Al and I made our way to the Sylvia hotel where we each had a Coors light and shared an order of natchos. 

Neither one of us should be eating natchos! Fifteen minutes before the fireworks started we made our way to our previously selected spot. The show was amazing!

Al drove us home and I wrote this down

That's all I got.
Till next time
Peace Out Y'all


©2014 Dave Squatch Ward