Dave Squatch Ward: Who's a Fat bastard

July 13, 2014

My son in law Christian and I have been watching soccer at Woody's on Brunette for the last few years. UEFA Cup, Champions League and World Cup. Sunday was no exception. We had planned to watch the final together months ago. We have Lisa's brother and his kids staying with us as they get ready to spend a few days at Whistler. Ryland and Dr Dan are soccer fans, but at fifteen Ry can't go to Woody's. I was going to bail on Christian, being the good host. When I called I could tell he was not happy about it. So I stuck with my original plans and got Lisa to drop me at Christian's place. We would take his car down to the game.

Woody's was packed. We got the last parking spot (half on the street) and when we got inside, an older couple were just leaving their table. Obviously breakfast, not soccer fans. I noticed several sets of eyes coveting the table. It was right on the fifty yard line of the big screen. I pulled out the Old Lady's chair for her, ever the gentleman, and I had my fat ass in the chair while it was still warm. "I was waiting for that table" said a guy in a Canucks Jersey.

"You're six months early Pal, you can have this table when the Canucks win the cup" I said. " You can join us if you want."

"There's five of us" he said hopefully. Someone had already commandeered one of the chairs so there was only three seats and we were using two of them. "Sorry mate" trying to sound sympathetic. They gunned us off for a minute, Mumbling obscenities till I stood up and gave them my best " How hard do you think I can hit you" look. I'm surprised it still works, I'm a fat old bastard. I knew those acting lesson would pay off someday.
Christian was pulling for Argentina. I was pulling for Germany. It was a better game than I expected. Plenty of chances for both teams, and the best part, I win. Or did I? Christian had eight pints and a plate of Kalamari. I had coffee and a salad and I had to drive him home.
Lisa was there to pick me up. We were going to Steve and Paul's in Deep Cove for dinner. It was also weigh day. I weighed myself before dinner at Steve's. I was not looking forward to it. First I tried too lure the Poop Fairy with a couple of plums. She seems to have settled in at every three or four days. Almost three days since her last drive by and only one visit to the cruise ship.
Let me recap for you. Seven days in Hawaii including a Luau and a wedding. Then seven days on an Alaska all you can eat Buffet Cruise. I have to move that mirror from the bathroom door. Every time I go to step on the scale there`s this fat guy looking back at me. I think he came with the mirror. Like the picture of Julie London in my official Mod Squad wallet. I was thinking if I was in the ten lb range and I would be happy.

I`m up but I`m okay.

Only six lbs! I think that is amazing I ate at least six lbs of Lobster tails last day on board.
Needless to say, I was in a good mood out in Deep Cove. Paul and Steve have a beautiful home right across the street from Deep Cove park.

The view from Steve`s place

After dinner, two sausage and salad for me we went to the park with Julia, the three dogs and a guitar in tow.

Deep cove minstrels.

Julia spotted the playground from East Van! She must smell it or something. She has never been to this park, yet made a beeline for the playground.

Loving the slide

It is a nice park with great views and the company was as always, great. Especially the dogs!

Lindsey, Lisa, Little Bit, Elvis and Nutmeg

An hour in the park then back for Nanaimo bars and Gelato from the ice cream factory in Deep Cove. I had a little ice cream, no Nanaimo bar. Big adventure coming tomorrow. Papa Squatch Day care on the road again!

July 14, 2014

At 8:07 all hell broke loose. That`s when my daughter Jen dropped off the kids. In a moment of utter foolishness I promised the Grandkids I would take them to Splashdown Park. It doesn`t even open till ten. That gave them two hours of asking me if we were leaving yet. "Are we in a moving vehicle?" I asked "No Papa" " Then we probably haven't left yet" "Okay Papa"

that ought to hold them for a couple of minutes any way. Finally , Cooler loaded, kids strapped in, ice tea at the ready, we headed for Splashdown Waterpark and a world of wet. " Are we there yet" came the voices from the rear seat. "Are you sliding down a water filled tube" I asked "No Papa" " Then we are probably not there yet" Try that conversation every two minutes for thirty-five minutes.
I don't think Waterslides were made with me in mind. I hurt my wrist, my knee and worst of all my shoulder. This makes it all worth while.