Who's a Fat Bastard - One Street Skagway

July 7, 2014

     It's a strange feeling to go to bed in one place and wake up in another. We were already in Skagway when I woke up at 7:30 am. Looking out our window at the grey mist and the few people walking around in raincoats, I felt quite at home.  For some reason, known only to the Cruise Ship elves, we spent eight hours in Juneau and fourteen hours in Skagway that is half the size and way worse weather. I swore up and down that I was not getting off the ship till after lunch. I was misquoted. Management, (Lisa) informed me that I meant to say I would be on the dock at 10:00. I was on the dock at 10:00! Lisa didn't show till 10:30! It's good to be queen! The good news was everybody was off on their own adventures, including Momma Lee who was with Steve. 

Steve and Momma Lee

It was the first time Lisa and I had been alone together for the whole trip.

     " We have to find Mom, I have her meds!" I was told. Lisa went down one side of the street, I went down the other. Fortunately there is only one street in Skagway. It started to rain so we figured whoever had Momma Lee would bring her back to the ship. Didn't happen. We checked with security and were told that Momma Lee had not returned to the ship. So off we went again. 

Fake Philly Fan

     I can't believe how many Philadelphia Eagle fans were in Skagway. I know this because my jacket was left at home so I was layering to stay warm. This was achieved by wearing my BC Lions long sleeved T shirt and my Philadelphia Eagles jersey over that. People kept coming up to me and saying " Are you an Eagles fan?"  " Oh yeah, all the way back to Jaworski`` I lied.  "Not much to cheer about lately" I didn't lie! "Go Eagles" they were yelling across the street. The truth is, I bought the jersey at a close out sale of a sporting goods store  a few years ago. It fit me, I like green and it was $4.50.  Jaworski and Cunningham are the only two Philly players I know.

Bearish on the Seahawks

 I am a Seahawks fan and have been since I moved to the west coast. I wore my Seahawks jersey yesterday. Nobody cared, nobody called across the street. One guy, a Vikings fan, said `` Seahawks suck!``  I said " Yes they do, on the bones of dead Vikings!"
      I took Momma Lee to the Catholic Church so she could pray and meditate. The priest was just opening the doors.  Mass was in twenty minutes. The handicap entrance was through the rectory and Momma Lee asked if he could hear her confession. He said he could do it right there. That's when I made my exit into the chapel. This was a small church with a mural of a mountain scene painted on the wall behind the alter. 

Jesus in Alaska

When he had heard her confession he came and got me to bring Momma Lee into the chapel. There were now four people in the chapel counting the priest. At this point I left the church, not wanting my agnostic ass to burst into flames. 

     When I got outside the church I was dive bombed by a crow. Where's your tennis racket when you need it? I took a bunch of pictures but still can't load them. He landed on a fence about fifteen feet from me, cawwing and sharpening his beak on the fence post.

Mean crow

 I moved away from it towards a crab apple tree in the Parrish yard. He came at me again, then circled back and bombed me again! I think there was a nest in the tree.

Totally Pissed

     He took up a defensive position and was losing his freaking mind. I half expected the priest to come out and shoot him. I don't know why I made him a him. Maybe because he was aggressive, or maybe because if he came at me again I was gonna swat him with my backpack and I don't hit girls. He was still yelling at me as I turned the corner. Probably a girl.

I know Mass takes about forty minutes so I went for a walk looking for a coffee. Not a chance. One street of Vendors and two streets residential. That's the whole town. I did however find the Skagway Public Library and it's free WiFi. Of course I didn't have my laptop with me. My plan was to come back later with it and upload my blog. Didn't happen. I went back, picked up Momma Lee and took her back to the ship for lunch. 

     After lunch Lisa and I broke away from the gang and went off on our own.

Lisa and the snow Plow

There are twenty-two people in our group. It's hard enough to get two people to agree on a plan let alone twenty-two! The only thing we have agreed on is that we would meet in the dining room every night for dinner. As we wandered down the quaint boardwalked main street of Skagway the rest of our group were still wrestling with the possibilities.

Canadian beaver visits Skagway Museum

     It's actually a pretty interesting town with a long history of boom and bust. First came the Klondike Gold Rush of 1896. That busted out early in the 1900's. In the 1920's the first tourist boom hit with people coming in by train and the first cruise ships. The Great Depression put an end to that.( This is before the advent of Prozac) After the Japanese invaded the Allutian Islands, which were claimed  by the Americans in 1943 more than forty thousand troops were stationed in Skagway. They lived in tents and temperatures reached 70 below. It was not uncommon for twelve feet of snow to fall in a single storm.

You want a piece of me!

     After the end of the war tourism was back and continues to be the primary economic engine in the area. For five months of the year up to five Cruise ships a day dock in Skagway. I learned all this when Lisa and I found the city museum by accident. For the paltry sum of two dollars, you could walk through the history of the town one room at a time. When you walk in the first thing you see is an amazing quilt. It's made with the neck feathers of Mallard ducks using a technique learned from the Tsinglet First Nations.

     Over one hundred years old and the colors are still vibrant. I want to remind you that I'm trying to catch up. We still have cruisers at our house and everyone wants a piece of me. Today is Saturday and I delivered the Peck of Deckers to Seatac for their flight home. At some point I will have to sleep.

That's all I got.

Till next time

Peace out Y'all

©2014 Dave Squatch Ward