June 5, 2014
I have been giving a lot of thought to the purpose of this blog. It started out as a Diet blog, morphed into a Foody blog and now just seems to be a this is my life blog. I am trying to be honest with myself. That's a lot harder to do than you would think. Like I said in my first post, the biggest lies we tell, are the ones we tell ourselves. I had a turbulent day yesterday and I wasn't prepared for it. Going back and reviewing what I wrote, I let my emotions get the best of me. Even worse, there were no laughs! No humorous observations on the foibles of human beings. I just wanted to get it out of me. Prior to starting this blog I hadn't put pen to paper for years. Now I can't stop. I literally empty my giant, bulbous head of all thoughts and let them spill onto the paper as they come. Thank you for bearing with me as I work my way through my own humanity.
I had Pizza last night for the first time in over a month. I felt like crap this morning! No, literally! That Pizza, as delicious as it was, was doing back flips in my still ample belly. The noises coming out of me were a tad distressing. I knew it was just a matter of time till something unpleasant was going to happen. I was not disappointed! Of course it happened when we were in the Museum of American History. We had been there a couple of hours when Poop Fairy panic hit. I'll come back to that.
I was up at 8:30 and let Lisa sleep in. I went down to the Dunkin Donuts at the hotel for a coffee for me, triple cream no sweetener, and a tea for Lisa, one cream two sugar. After I ordered, I reached into my pocket for my wallet. No wallet. I said " I have no money. I left my wallet in my room. I'll be right back." "Sure you will Pal." He said. "Next."
We are on the third floor, I couldn't have been gone three minutes. I get back to Dunkin Donuts and there is now a huge line up. I make my way past them to get my drinks. "I dumped them." he said.
"You dumped them?" I said "Why would you do that?"
" I didn't know if you were coming back." he replied.
" Okay, make me a couple of new ones, please." I said with a smile on my face. "You have to wait in line. I can't let you cut in." was his response. I was flabbergasted. No way was I going to pay $5.25 for a cup of coffee in the Hyatt restaurant, or the ever so reasonable $27.50 for a carafe of coffee from room service. Not counting tip and three buck service charge. Bastards. So head hanging, I made my way to the back of the line like a schoolboy on his way to the Principal's office. By the time I got back to the front of the line I had a different counter person and didn't have to deal with Dunkin Dohead. Drinks in hand, I made my way back to the room. One coffee, one Tea and one room key in my pocket. Now in retrospect, I should have put one or the other of the drinks on the ground. Instead, I put the coffee in the crook of my elbow, reached into my pocket and squirted screaming hot coffee down my arm. Usually with me, when my day starts that way, I just go back to bed! Not today. We had plans.
At 10:30 we made our way to the Bethesda Metro Station (It's in the basement of our hotel) and headed into D C.
We planned to see the White House and the Smithsonian Institute. When we got down to the mall we were lost. No idea which way to start walking. So, of course, we just started walking. You can see the Washington monument from almost every where in D C.
As it turned out, we were walking in the exact opposite direction we needed to be going. We asked a cop on the Mall for directions, he turned us around and sent us in the right directions. We headed to Pennsylvania Avenue and started walking the ten or so blocks to the White House. On the way we passed a place that had a food court. It was 11:30 and we were hungry. In D C, you have to go through security to get into the food court. To get into any Public building really.
I had crappy Sushi, and Lisa had Mexican, a burrito the size of her head! The place was packed. We were out of there by noon.
Walking through downtown D C is pretty impressive. The architecture and the statues are really something to see.
When we got to the White House it was even more secure. No vehicles allowed for a full block and you have access to only one side of the place.
We headed back to the Mall where the Smithsonian Institute is. Turns out it isn't a building it's several. We did two of them.
We did the Museum of American History first. A case full of guitars and Judy Garland's Ruby Slippers were the first thing we saw.
The place is a cornucopia of American ego. From Julia Child's kitchen to Archie Bunkers chair, and even Miss Piggy!
So much to see. From Slavery to the Civil Rights movement.They paint a rosy picture of life in America.
We spent five hours there and only saw half of it. That is when the Poop Fairy showed up. Right in the middle of the Vietnam War exhibit. I took off for the can like a Huey helicopter leaving a firefight. Dropped a load of agent orange and never missed a beat!
I wanted to go to the Museum of Natural History which is right next door. We went through security and started looking around. We went into Rocks and Gems first. I was done in about eight minutes. Lisa spent about an hour and a half in there. "I like geology, I used to work in the field" she said.
I sat down and waited. What else could I do? I didn't bring a phone and neither did Lisa. We couldn't separate. The place is huge and packed with people. We'd never find each other again! Stupid Rocks! I could write about the place for hours. Every room in the place full of interesting stuff.
Definitely worth seeing. At 7:30 They came in a swarm to close down the Museum. I told at least five different security guards " I'm waiting for my wife. She's in the washroom." And she was, for ten minutes! They looked at me like, Yeah, someone married you! It seems she had a small stain on her pants, and in her desire to remove it, she had created a water stain fifty times bigger than the original stain. Which she dried with the bathroom hand dryer. Security was coming for me three abreast when she finally came out. "I told you I had a wife!"
We must have walked ten miles today. Got back to the Hyatt and got ready for dinner. Lisa was looking great in a new dress.
I looked the same as I always do. Like an unmade bed. I did put on a shirt with a collar!
We went to a Japanese restaurant a five minute walk from the hotel. It was Crap. Limited menu, and very pricey, not impressed.
The company however was great. We made our way slowly back to the hotel and called it a night. Tired but happy. A great day with my beautiful wife. Looking forward to tomorrow.
That's all I got.
Till next time.
Peace Out Ya'll
P.S. I write first, then download pictures to fit. Lisa took 433 pics today. OMG
©2014 Dave Squatch Ward
I had Pizza last night for the first time in over a month. I felt like crap this morning! No, literally! That Pizza, as delicious as it was, was doing back flips in my still ample belly. The noises coming out of me were a tad distressing. I knew it was just a matter of time till something unpleasant was going to happen. I was not disappointed! Of course it happened when we were in the Museum of American History. We had been there a couple of hours when Poop Fairy panic hit. I'll come back to that.
I was up at 8:30 and let Lisa sleep in. I went down to the Dunkin Donuts at the hotel for a coffee for me, triple cream no sweetener, and a tea for Lisa, one cream two sugar. After I ordered, I reached into my pocket for my wallet. No wallet. I said " I have no money. I left my wallet in my room. I'll be right back." "Sure you will Pal." He said. "Next."
We are on the third floor, I couldn't have been gone three minutes. I get back to Dunkin Donuts and there is now a huge line up. I make my way past them to get my drinks. "I dumped them." he said.
"You dumped them?" I said "Why would you do that?"
" I didn't know if you were coming back." he replied.
" Okay, make me a couple of new ones, please." I said with a smile on my face. "You have to wait in line. I can't let you cut in." was his response. I was flabbergasted. No way was I going to pay $5.25 for a cup of coffee in the Hyatt restaurant, or the ever so reasonable $27.50 for a carafe of coffee from room service. Not counting tip and three buck service charge. Bastards. So head hanging, I made my way to the back of the line like a schoolboy on his way to the Principal's office. By the time I got back to the front of the line I had a different counter person and didn't have to deal with Dunkin Dohead. Drinks in hand, I made my way back to the room. One coffee, one Tea and one room key in my pocket. Now in retrospect, I should have put one or the other of the drinks on the ground. Instead, I put the coffee in the crook of my elbow, reached into my pocket and squirted screaming hot coffee down my arm. Usually with me, when my day starts that way, I just go back to bed! Not today. We had plans.
At 10:30 we made our way to the Bethesda Metro Station (It's in the basement of our hotel) and headed into D C.
 |
| The longest escalator ever! |
We planned to see the White House and the Smithsonian Institute. When we got down to the mall we were lost. No idea which way to start walking. So, of course, we just started walking. You can see the Washington monument from almost every where in D C.
 |
| The couple taking our pic lent us their kids! |
 |
| Happy till I ate it. |
I had crappy Sushi, and Lisa had Mexican, a burrito the size of her head! The place was packed. We were out of there by noon.
Walking through downtown D C is pretty impressive. The architecture and the statues are really something to see.
 |
| Great Buildings |
 |
| A million Statues |
 |
| Close as you can get! We enquired about tours and were told you have to make arrangements in advance with your Congressman. We told him we were Canadians, he said "To bad, No tour for you." |
We did the Museum of American History first. A case full of guitars and Judy Garland's Ruby Slippers were the first thing we saw.
 |
| Musical History |
 |
| There's no place like home, There's no place like home. |
 |
| Lisa's hero, Julia Child's kitchen. |
 |
| Archie's chair, Meathead |
 |
| Oink |
 |
| Ran away to join the Union Army, the scars of slavery. |
 |
| Four brave men. |
 |
| Museum of Natural History |
 |
| A Rock! |
I sat down and waited. What else could I do? I didn't bring a phone and neither did Lisa. We couldn't separate. The place is huge and packed with people. We'd never find each other again! Stupid Rocks! I could write about the place for hours. Every room in the place full of interesting stuff.
 |
| Who you callin Shrimp? |
 |
| Which one is scarier? |
 |
| Where's Putin when you need him? |
We must have walked ten miles today. Got back to the Hyatt and got ready for dinner. Lisa was looking great in a new dress.
 |
| Love that dress. |
I looked the same as I always do. Like an unmade bed. I did put on a shirt with a collar!
 |
| Even the tea sucked! |
 |
| Chicken Teri Yucky! |
The company however was great. We made our way slowly back to the hotel and called it a night. Tired but happy. A great day with my beautiful wife. Looking forward to tomorrow.
That's all I got.
Till next time.
Peace Out Ya'll
P.S. I write first, then download pictures to fit. Lisa took 433 pics today. OMG
©2014 Dave Squatch Ward
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