Who's a Fat Bastard - Fifty is Nifty, but twelve is the number

June 21, 2014

I don`t feel fifty episodes!

     I am shocked and stunned! Dumbfounded and perplexed! Blown away, that this is the fiftieth Fat Bastard blog. The fiftieth edition of my blog and the fifty-second day of my program. I try to stay away from the diet word. Like Garfield says "Diet is Die with a T." 

    I am trying to change my lifestyle not just what I eat. My experience in the last fifty-two days has been, less carbs means more energy! I get up in the morning and I feel great. I look. forward to doing my workout. If I put it off, I feel guilty. Since I started I have missed only three days of workouts. And those days we were travelling.

     I prefer to do my workout in the morning before breakfast. Usually I have two cups of Java and hit the stairs. Half way through the second cup, Lisa asked me to go garage saleing with her. So I put off my workout till later. We were/are looking for a bedside table for Momma Lee. Steve found one at a garage sale. 
     Now it's noon and I am hungry. Ham and cheese lettuce wraps. with mayo and tomato. 

Lunch

Washed down with homemade Sun tea, That sounds so pretentious. People say it like it's a secret." Shhhh, sun tea" they whisper in hushed tones. Well, spoiler alert! If you feel in your heart of hearts, that some things are left better unknown. Close your eyes for about twenty seconds. Then pick it up at the start of the next paragraph. 
How to make Sun tea
Go out and buy a jar of Vlasic Dill pickles in the half gallon jar. (They are crunchy and juicy!)
Eat the pickles

Eat the Pickles

Wash the jar till it doesn't smell like pickles any more.

Wash the jar real well!

Fill the jar with cold water.
Put in three tea bags or three tbs of loose tea. real tea, not herbal anything. Just Tea! That's the Tea part!
Put it in the window. That's the Sun part!
When it is a colour you like, drink it over ice.

Drink the tea!

Some people put in sugar and/or lemon. Real men drink their ice tea straight! Just saying.

     I got down stairs and started my workout. Four stair stretch, five sets of ten on each leg. Now I can reach my toes with my eyes closed. 

Like the Flash

One hundred crunch`s coming at you. 
     I don`t know which is more incredible, the fact that I can do one hundred crunch`s or that I have sat behind this keyboard fifty times and put semi-lucid thoughts in a comprehensible order or that at 2:00 pm tomorrow, I will have been married to my lovely wife Lisa for twelve years. The best twelve years of my life. 
     I  weed whacked and mowed the rest of the lawns, that takes a couple of hours. I was just about to lay down in the hammock with a book, but when I got there it was occupied.

Swingers

 When Lisa got home, we packed a picnic lunch and headed down to the dog beach. With a quick stop at T&T for roast pork, we were off to the beach to hook up with Steve, Lisa`s  twin brother. 

Lisa and Steve ...Posers

Elvis and Nutmeg love going there. 

Gratuitous Cute Dog Pic

Nutmeg

Another beautiful West Coast sunset spent with the woman I love. 

Almost as gorgeous as Lisa

     We took the long way home. Cruising Commercial Drive. Talking and enjoying each other`s company on our twelfth anniversary eve. Up over Burnaby Mountain with the lights of Metro Town the twinkling backdrop to her loving smile.... Man, I`m turning this into a Harlequin Romance. Pardon me while I think about NASCAR! to get my testosterone level up.

That`s all I got.
Till next time 
Peace Out Y'all  
     
©2014 Dave Squatch Ward