June 16, 2014
Today was a travel day. Nothing much happened. I was up at 8am and called the car rental place to see if they would pick Lisa up. That seems to be the entire basis of there ad campaign. "We'll pick you up from home!" they proudly declare. Unless they have to cross a state line to get you, then you're on your own. Joan's place is three miles from the Enterprise Rent a Car location. Unfortunately for us one mile of that is in Pennsylvania so no free pickup from home.
It doesn't matter to me because I don't rent cars, Lisa does. You have to pay an extra nine dollars a day if there is more than one driver, so Lisa always drives. Besides I'm in touch with my inner Scotsman so I'm not paying anything I don't have to. Lisa says she's a better driver than me and a teamster to prove it. I say that she's a control freak, but that's an argument waiting to happen if there ever was one!
Papa Dawg dragged his aged carcass out of bed about 9:30. He grabbed a cup of road Java and said his goodbyes to me. He was taking Lisa to the rental car and then going to his house in Greentown. He's a very bright man and charming beyond belief, when he wants to be. A real mans, man.
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| Old school Man's Man, or Emotional Cripple? |
He's also a closed book. He doesn't let anyone inside including his daughter. I know this bothers Lisa terribly. Though he has been better every year we come out here. Four years ago he gave me the keys to his motorcycle and we didn't see him the last four days we were here. Last year he disappeared two days before we were leaving and we had to stop and get out of the airport limo to say goodbye. This year we just had to wake him up. I gave him a hug, ( not his forte) and told him to get his bony old ass on a plane to Vancouver. His response was no response. He got Lisa in the car and off they went to the rental car. I don't know how their goodbye went. I am assuming it went well because Lisa wasn't crying when she got back two hours later so that was a bonus.
While Lisa was gone I made breakfast for myself. These people only eat once a day. Guaranteed to help you fit into your cranky pants by mid afternoon.
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| One fabulous omelet! |
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| See , No smoke! |
She's a great gal and really made us feel at home. She has a beautiful home and even let me sit on the good furniture! I hope she can drag him out to see us again this year.
When Lisa got back with the car I loaded it up. Like Red Green Said "If you can't be handsome...be handy!" "Squatch lift heavy bag." And then Like a bad smell in an elevator we were gone. Headed to Hyde Park, where Lisa went to school at the CIA. Only two hours in the wrong direction. " Use it as a via point on the GPS" Lisa suggested. " Let's just get there Honey" I said, not feeling up to explaining that if we drive one hour out of the way to get there, we have to drive one hour back the way we came, just to be back where we started. Math is hard! Do you know what's harder? Running the GPS! We started of in the wrong direction. Not the wrong direction to Hyde Park, but a totally new wrong direction." Recalculating, make a U turn in two hundred yards" chirped the woman in the GPS. Lisa turned us around, then on a blind curb, she stopped. "What are you doing" I asked with a touch of panic in my voice. "I'm taking a picture" she said over the sound of the screeching tires and blaring horn of the guy who came up behind us at sixty miles an hour on the above mentioned blind curb. For this.
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| The mailbox that almost killed us. |
A mail box. It's okay though, Lisa said sorry and waved to him. In some alternate universe that makes it okay!
Once we were back on track we made good time. We got to the CIA about 12:30.
Just in time to stand in line for thirty minutes to get an Ice Tea for me and a coffee, danish and Foccacia for Lisa. I have been to this rodeo before. As I said in a previous Blog, Lisa is a Rock Star here. She graduated with honours with degrees in Culinary Arts and a degree in Baking! No wonder I got so fat! I'm kidding Lisa is very conscious of my health, and even though on set she is the Queen of Tarts, she never brings it home. Some day I'll tell you the story of the Chocolate/Peanut butter/ Banana cream pie that got away! Or never was, I don't remember. The memory is too painful! Then, when they found out she was working on Once Upon a Time, (with my wonderful daughter Jennifer) I swear she was like royalty! More popular than Queen Elisabeth! I never left the coffee shop. They had free WiFi. I pulled out my tablet and the battery died six minutes later. No problem, I put it away and took my laptop out of my knapsack. I thought I'd get a head start on my blog. Now we had a problem. I haven't been using my laptop for nine days because Joan doesn't have WiFi. It just sat in my knapsack. Power on till it died.
Lisa stopped by right about then, dropped three Mis en Place magazines on the table and was gone like the wind. At least I had something to read. I was feeling rather peckish and thought I would have a bowl of the soup of the day. Coconut prawn bisque. It looked so good. As it turned out, I only had a five dollar bill in my wallet. A Canadian fiver at that. I sat down, read a magazine about food and nursed my Ice tea for another two hours. Oh yeah and Lisa had the camera. She took some pictures and saw some of her old teachers, she met a lot of the new students and was held up as a shining example of what you could become with a CIA degree. I on the other hand read about good posture in the kitchen and watched my Ice tea turn into Tea as the ice slowly melted.
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| Cake |
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| More cake |
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| Even more cake! |
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| People making cake! |
When Lisa came back to the coffee shop she was beaming. I said "I have no money" she said " We have to go now" as she placed her giant bag of gift shop goodies on the table for me to carry. I'm just teasing, I love to see her happy and smiling.
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| Yay, done. |
Resetting the GPS to take us to Bridgewater, New Jersey, we headed out of Hyde Park. Our route followed the Hudson River through dozens of small towns. We stopped at a market in one of them for a snack. Two Kosher pickles and a turkey Kielbasa.
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| Write your own joke! |
We phoned ahead and no one was home. The GPS said we would be there at 5:15. I needed a new pair of sneaks so we stopped at a Marshall's in Patterson New Jersey. Got a nice pairof Fila's for thirty bucks.
Lisa bought some things for the Grand kids then couldn't find me. There are only two rows of men's shoes. I was sitting at the end of one of them trying on sneaks. I know I've lost a few pounds but???? Good thing Lisa doesn't read this.
We rolled into Charlie and Janice's at 6:45. They had just gotten home from work and Laura had just gotten home from a trip to Boston. They had ordered Pizza for dinner. New Jersey Pizza! I think it is the best Pizza ever. After the DC Pizza fiasco of two weeks ago I was hesitant to try again. ( I had the trots for two days!) Undeterred I had two slices and a huge salad.
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| Pizza mmmmmmm |
After dinner we had a forty-Five minute walk around the neighborhood. Forty minutes in, the Poop Fairy started to get my attention. I walked the last two blocks at a much faster pace.
Charlie has to be in Philadelphia at 8:30 tomorrow morning and Janice is working too. Laura is stuck with us and our rental car return. As I said, today was a travel day so not too much going on. I never did get on Eastern time. It's 3:05 am here but only midnight to me. I hope something interesting happens tomorrow or I'll have to start making shit up!
That's all I got.
Till next time
Peace Out Y'all
©2014 Dave Squatch Ward
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