May 28, 2014
This morning at 8:45, I plunked myself down in the dentist chair for a teeth cleaning. You wouldn't think it would take that long. I only have four teeth up top. They are there to hold my plate in. My bottom teeth , though healthy, are ugly as a wombats butthole. I can floss with garden hose!
My teeth are a victim of bad diet, Scottish dentistry and a pool cue in a parking lot. Now, for the first time in my life, my mouth doesn't hurt. The issue I'm having is my gums appear to be shrinking. Of all the places I need to lose weight, my gums are way down the list. I'm afraid my plate is going to pop out into Como Lake or a Walmart urinal or something. I hope Poly Grip is low carb.
We leave on Sunday for three weeks back east. I plan to continue with my program as best I can. I just don't want to do it as a toothless Hillbilly. The dentist said unless I plan on staying this size, I should wait till I reach my goal before I have my plate lined. Great a Leopard Skin Thong and wobbly teeth!
After the Dentist, two hard boiled eggs, half of a tomato and a pickle.
An event twelve years in the making! For those of you who don't know or much care. Twelve years ago, two weeks after we were married in the backyard of our home, our house caught on fire and we were out of our home for four months. Last week Lisa dug up our wedding pictures. Unseen for twelve years.
All of a sudden, I'm chained to the scanner! We never did do all the wedding picture stuff that we had planned to do. Our personal wedding album has six coffee stained pics in it and, we don't know where it is. What can I say, life got in the way. "Can you scan a couple of pictures for me?" Turned into this!
It's a career! Hundreds of pictures, out of thousands of pictures, taken by three different photographers. I've been quiet about it up till now. But really, how many different angles of one hundred and fifty drunken fools do you need. I was thinking a couple of the Ceremony, a couple of the rings, maybe the cake, a kiss or two. If she puts them in an album it will be the size of a set of encyclopedias! That's what I've been doing with my "spare" time.
On the other hand, that may be a motivator in my continued desire to exercise. The kissing I mean.
Back to business. The Iron maiden awaits. As my fitness level increases and my physical mass decreases, I am adding other exercises to my routine.
I start with my four stair stretch to loosen up my ham strings. I put my heel on the fourth step and reach for my toes. I like this one because I can reach my toes every time. It also makes my eyes bug out! I do five reaches then switch legs.
I do that five times on each leg. The left leg is harder to do. I tore my hamstring very badly when I was living in Campbell River. Playing Flag Football. They took me off the field in the back of a pickup, took me home and left me there by myself for three days. Unable to do anything but crawl, I may have eaten the neighbours cat.
I started doing push ups on the stairs today. I don't know if my shoulders are up to it but I'm gonna try. I leaned forward on to the fifth stair and did ten reps. I have bursitis in both shoulders. Ten was lots. I was hurting when I was done. I need to do something to firm up my Moobs/Mantitties. Maybe I'll try some free weights. Just when I'm riding the Maiden. I'm already in pain. It might take my mind off my aching butt.
I then touch my toes twenty times. Actually touching both toes, at the same time, several times.
I still can't do a sit up. I think I'm getting closer. I probably need to get rid of the rest of the jelly roll around my waist first.
In an attempt to remove above mentioned jelly roll, I do ten sets of ten crunches. I think the first sixty or so are getting easier, but the last twenty are getting harder. I'm moving like an old man by the end of it. Oh wait, I am an old man.
A little too smart for prime time, Dennis Miller, Utube video, and I'm moving on. Now, Time for lunch.
That was the plan any way.Today was Jam day at Gord's at 2:00 and I totally blanked on it. I was listening to tunes and scanning twelve year old memories. Next thing I know it's 4:30. I thought to myself, self, you should call Gord. Then I forgot. Then he called me. Then I found myself making one of those stuttering, I should have called you earlier explanations that always sound like bullshit. I know I should have called. It was the first thing that popped into my mind when I realised what time it was. Maybe I have a little bit of sometimers. It would seem sometimes I lose track of me!
Watched another excellent hockey game. Is it me, or are a lot of games going to overtime this year? I picked Chicago to repeat so I was happy with today's result. I have to think that the NHL would prefer New York v Los Angeles. Two largest TV markets and the stands full of celebrities to fill the dull bits.
Fired up the BBQ and did cheeseburgers for Lisa and I. A nice Squatch salad an avacado and some steamed broccoli.
I skipped lunch today. I know that's not a good thing to do, I just got so caught up in what I was doing. I have a ton of things I want to do before we leave. The first leg of our trip begins on Sunday. I don't know if I will be able to post every day while we are travelling. I will be doing my best to stick to my diet. I know it's going to be hard. The best Pizza in the world! The good news is we always walk miles when we travel. We are with family in New Jersey first, then the weekend in Washington D C. Looking forward to the Smithsonian and the Lincoln Memorial. Then up to Pennsylvania to hang out with Lisa's Dad for his birthday.
Sorry, I'm rambling on about nothing. Just thinking out loud with my fingers. Half way to weigh day and feeling good. I am hoping to break the 300 lb mark by Sunday. I hope the weather improves. It's my loving daughter Jennifer's Birthday on Saturday. We are having a BBQ for her on the Friday night. Be better if it's nice out. I won't be trapped in the house with half a dozen 5 year olds.
Well, that's all I got.
Till next time
Peace Out Ya'll
©2014 Dave Squatch Ward
My teeth are a victim of bad diet, Scottish dentistry and a pool cue in a parking lot. Now, for the first time in my life, my mouth doesn't hurt. The issue I'm having is my gums appear to be shrinking. Of all the places I need to lose weight, my gums are way down the list. I'm afraid my plate is going to pop out into Como Lake or a Walmart urinal or something. I hope Poly Grip is low carb.
We leave on Sunday for three weeks back east. I plan to continue with my program as best I can. I just don't want to do it as a toothless Hillbilly. The dentist said unless I plan on staying this size, I should wait till I reach my goal before I have my plate lined. Great a Leopard Skin Thong and wobbly teeth!
After the Dentist, two hard boiled eggs, half of a tomato and a pickle.
An event twelve years in the making! For those of you who don't know or much care. Twelve years ago, two weeks after we were married in the backyard of our home, our house caught on fire and we were out of our home for four months. Last week Lisa dug up our wedding pictures. Unseen for twelve years.
All of a sudden, I'm chained to the scanner! We never did do all the wedding picture stuff that we had planned to do. Our personal wedding album has six coffee stained pics in it and, we don't know where it is. What can I say, life got in the way. "Can you scan a couple of pictures for me?" Turned into this!
 |
| Lisa's definition of "a couple" |
 |
| Sure, it seemed like a good idea at the time! |
Back to business. The Iron maiden awaits. As my fitness level increases and my physical mass decreases, I am adding other exercises to my routine.
I start with my four stair stretch to loosen up my ham strings. I put my heel on the fourth step and reach for my toes. I like this one because I can reach my toes every time. It also makes my eyes bug out! I do five reaches then switch legs.
 |
| Stretching out the hammies. |
I started doing push ups on the stairs today. I don't know if my shoulders are up to it but I'm gonna try. I leaned forward on to the fifth stair and did ten reps. I have bursitis in both shoulders. Ten was lots. I was hurting when I was done. I need to do something to firm up my Moobs/Mantitties. Maybe I'll try some free weights. Just when I'm riding the Maiden. I'm already in pain. It might take my mind off my aching butt.
I then touch my toes twenty times. Actually touching both toes, at the same time, several times.
I still can't do a sit up. I think I'm getting closer. I probably need to get rid of the rest of the jelly roll around my waist first.
In an attempt to remove above mentioned jelly roll, I do ten sets of ten crunches. I think the first sixty or so are getting easier, but the last twenty are getting harder. I'm moving like an old man by the end of it. Oh wait, I am an old man.
 |
| Ride , Squatchy, Ride I finish off with an hour on the Iron Maiden. Still watching Homeland the series. Netflix rocks. No commercials, unedited. |
 |
| Thank God for Netflix |
A little too smart for prime time, Dennis Miller, Utube video, and I'm moving on. Now, Time for lunch.
That was the plan any way.Today was Jam day at Gord's at 2:00 and I totally blanked on it. I was listening to tunes and scanning twelve year old memories. Next thing I know it's 4:30. I thought to myself, self, you should call Gord. Then I forgot. Then he called me. Then I found myself making one of those stuttering, I should have called you earlier explanations that always sound like bullshit. I know I should have called. It was the first thing that popped into my mind when I realised what time it was. Maybe I have a little bit of sometimers. It would seem sometimes I lose track of me!
Watched another excellent hockey game. Is it me, or are a lot of games going to overtime this year? I picked Chicago to repeat so I was happy with today's result. I have to think that the NHL would prefer New York v Los Angeles. Two largest TV markets and the stands full of celebrities to fill the dull bits.
Fired up the BBQ and did cheeseburgers for Lisa and I. A nice Squatch salad an avacado and some steamed broccoli.
 |
| It's not the same when you can't pick it up to eat it. |
Sorry, I'm rambling on about nothing. Just thinking out loud with my fingers. Half way to weigh day and feeling good. I am hoping to break the 300 lb mark by Sunday. I hope the weather improves. It's my loving daughter Jennifer's Birthday on Saturday. We are having a BBQ for her on the Friday night. Be better if it's nice out. I won't be trapped in the house with half a dozen 5 year olds.
Well, that's all I got.
Till next time
Peace Out Ya'll
©2014 Dave Squatch Ward
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