Who's a Fat Bastard - Hard Boiled Eggs

May 16, 2014

      Eggs. The ovum of another species, ripped from beneath the loving buttocks of a sleeping chicken. You can eat them fried, poached, pickled or boiled. In an omelet or frittata, by themselves or in a recipe. Can't make a cake without breaking eggs! The Chinese have 100 year old eggs. And sadly, who hasn't been stricken by pickled egg farts. Or is it just me?

     Why, you may ask, am I on about eggs? Because that's what I had for breakfast. Hard boiled eggs, doesn't get much easier than that. Put them in a pot covered in water and wait. Do not however, forget that they are on the stove, boiling away all the water, exploding and burning to the bottom of the pot, not to mention the smoke. How I came to know this, is not important.

     A hard boiled egg is a wonderful thing, compact and easily transportable, it's easy to forget it came out of a chickens ass. Of course it's not hard boiled at the time. That probably makes it easier. 

     I been making my self a hot breakfast since I started my diet. I quite like it. Alas, yesterday I was a slacker. I had some paper work to do and had to be downtown mid afternoon. I used this as an excuse not to exercise. "Bad Squatchy , Bad." So, to go with my 2 hard boiled last night eggs, I had an avocado and a dill pickle. 

     Then I made my way down to the green room. The Iron Maiden is waiting. I was focused, flat on my back on my Disney Princess workout mat, I put my hands behind my head and throw myself into a sit up. After several attempts the closest I got was a spit up!      With the taste of regurgitated pickle still on my breath, I started doing crunches. The same ones I've been doing all along. Today, 10 less than Wednesday. My first taste of failure. Shouldn't have tried that stupid sit up!

     I usually take my Tablet and watch Net Flix or Utube videos. Today I took my laptop and played a game

     I don't know what it's called. It's a match 3 game. I started playing it and next thing you know, my butt cheeks are numb and...

    61.53 minutes, twice as long as I have done previously. I was feeling so good about myself I thought I would try that sit up again. Unfortunately, my Gumby legs wouldn't bend.  I finished my workout by crawling up the stairs like a slug on vinyl siding!

     A long shower and clean clothes and I was ready for lunch. 

Squatchy tuna fish lettuce wrap

I can Tuna in water not oil.
1 green onion
1 radish
2 tbs mayo
1 tbs horse radish
Lettuce 

Directions:
Chop it all up and put it on the lettuce.

 What did you expect it's tuna salad!
     My brother in law Dan and his charming wife Shaun are in town for a few days. They live in Prince George. Nuff said! Lisa ordered a big tray of sushi from Tenatsu. I'm not eating sushi so I made a quick meal for myself. 

Italian Sausage, sourkraut and salad

     I'm glad I did, my inbreeds are evil! Not only do I sit there while they are eating sushi.

Party Sushi Platter B

Dan eating Sushi

They follow it up with lemon pie and whip cream!

Lemon Pie 

I stared out the window and chewed on my sock for strength.              Shaun had surgery on her neck a couple of days ago. The pain killers upset her stomach. So she is off the hook in the Torture Squatch Food Derby. Hope she feels better soon.

     We meandered through Stanley Park on the way home. Enjoying the night lights of the North Shore and listening to the oldies on senile 650. What does that say when the music you grew up to is now the oldies? It means so are you! To quote my friend Mike "Mad Dog" Adams, " Every day above ground, is a pretty good day." If you ever get a chance, go see him, one very funny man.

All right that's all I got

Till next time

Peace Out Ya'll

©2014 Dave Squatch Ward