Who's a Fat Bastard - Bubba bug and Gonnareah?

May 23, 2014

     
    Today was the first day I had to make myself go to the Green Room. It's not that I felt tired or anything. I just didn't want to do it today. I suspect the truth is, Weigh Day is two days away and I'm starting to feel a little anxious about it. 
     I have done everything according to plan. Diet, exercise and a positive attitude. Yet still I have that persistent feeling in the back of my mind, or is it my bowel? Freakin Poop Fairy is MIA again.  Coming up sixty hours without sending a train into the porcelain tunnel. Maybe a workout will get things moving. I slowly make my way down the stairs to the chamber of horrors.
     What happened? Overnight I lost the ability to touch my toes! Yesterday, 10 times, today, waving at them like I was the Queen in a motorcade! Can your arms get shorter overnight? It is so not fair!
     Maybe it's because my heart wasn't into it, or maybe I was still stiff from yesterday, or maybe my fudge was packed so tight I couldn't bend! I did do twenty reps, even though I could only reach my ankles. 
     A lesser man might give up after twenty-two days of not being able to do a sit up. But then if I was lesser man, I could probably do a sit up! About fifty pounds lesser would be good.  Still holding fast at zero sit ups.

My sit up face

     Crunches on the other hand, I did ten sets of ten with thirty seconds of rest in between.

On your mark. Get set...

Go!

      I rocked, no, I mean I literally had to rock myself into a belly roll, then I half climbed, half dragged myself upright in the door jamb, legs shaking like a new born giraffe. Then I cried like a baby! 
     I went Old School today on the Maiden. I've done the laptop and the tablet, today, a book. 

Tom Clancy

     That's right. Paper and ink and perhaps cat urine. It had kind of a funky smell when you peeled open the second chapter! I got it at a garage sale for a quarter. 

What's that smell?

     Between the smell, and the fact that the book kept jiggling on the book holder,  I was getting either a headache or flashbacks or both from the constantly dancing type. At that point the Old School book program went the way of the VCR. 
     Enter the tablet, Netflix away! I watched episode two of Homeland while riding the Maiden. I am enjoying it immensely besides being an excellent show, it's forty-six minutes long. That means after I finish with forty-six minutes of high drama and intense conflict, I have fourteen minutes to decompress with Utube videos about  kittens and puppies, baked in a pie. Sorry that was blackbirds. That's probably gonna piss someone off. Like I would actually mix puppies and kittens! That would be like strawberry / Rhubarb pie. Gross!
     Today I watched Stephen Colbert clips. He's gonna be the new Late Night/ Letterman Guy. I don't know, I find him kind of hit and miss. Including my five minute cool down, I rode her for sixty-five minutes. Take that buttcracker! 

`I`m melting, I`m melting`  

     As hard as the Iron maiden is on my butt, Rosie the water pic is as gentle. Her liquid fingers cascade down on my aching muscles. Releasing the tension and stress from my entire body. 
     There are about seven million things in our bathtub. Some I don't recognise nor do I  want to know their purpose. A toothbrush, a bar of soap and a 2 year old bottle of Old Spice body wash are mine. Oh yeah, and Rosie.
     Lunch time! Oh, by the way, I want you to know that I didn't skip breakfast. I've been eating two hard boiled eggs and a pickle when I get up. After I take my meds and check my blood sugar. Which has improved greatly since I dropped the carbs. Breakfast is really important if you want to lose weight. Gets your metabolism going and you`re not starving by lunch time. Just saying!

Tuna Salad Lettuce wraps and Avocado.

     After lunch we headed for Como Lake with the dogs. Lisa came along for the walk, which is always nice, so the pictures today are from a different perspective. She is five foot two, and I am six foot four. She is looking up at everything I am looking down at. Also she likes flowers a lot more than me.

Flower

More flowers

     Twice around the lake. Two kilometres. There were so many dogs there today. Doesn`t any body work on Fridays any more?

Bubba Bug

      I took a picture of a bug. I don't know why. I probably shouldn't have named him! Lisa took a picture of a gonereah! I can see why you don't want to get that on your tallywacker!

Gonnareah?

     Went over to see Momma Lee at Lakeshore. It's right there at Como Lake. That's probably why they named it Lakeshore. Even though it's a long way from the shore of the lake.  After a visit we went to dinner at Rivers Reach Pub in NewWest with friends.  Half price appys and coffee that could strip paint.

Lettuce wraps, wings, Kalamari and Poutine for Lisa.

     After dinner we went over to A&W's for Tea and conversation.

Well, tea anyway. Willie is a Glaswegian and incomprehensible to most after two pints of Rickards. Fortunately, I grew up with that accent so I can interpret for Lisa.  He has a great roof top deck with a view of the NewWest Quay.

Well,  they had a view until they built all those condos. Progress I suppose. They won't be happy till we're all in a box. Whoever they are! 
     My fellow jammer Gord, and his lovely wife Penny joined us at Annies and Willies for tea and chocolate. I had tea.

A ripe strawberry, already

     The first local strawberry of the year. It's on Willie's deck. Beautiful. I ate it when he wasn't looking. A little bit sour.
     We left before Willie could do a strawberry inventory. Ahhhh, forbidden fruit. 
     Sunday is Weigh Day. I feel good, my energy is good. I'm exercising and eating well. I can't do anymore than I'm doing. Well, except for sucking up a mouthful of my old friend Phillips.

Phillips, a gentle laxative.

Milk of Magnesia you sick puppies! If your diggin this please feel free to share.

That's all I got. 
Till next time
Peace Out Ya'll

©2014 Dave Squatch Ward