July 7th 2016
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| Elvis on the Job |
IOCO Road. It seems to be overrun with hipsters. A lot of wool toques, scraggly beards, plaid and tattoos. And evidently the look is not gender-specific!
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| This is the girl who runs the jam |
I spent most of the morning bitching about my inability to master technology. I didn't get my blog posted until close to 11 o'clock. That seriously cut into my Adventure Time. Not that I had any major Adventures planned. I was going to see Mama Lee. I bought her a new pair of sandals yesterday and I wanted to see if they fit and if she likes them. But first lunch! I had roast beef cheese and tomato with home grown lettuce wraps. After lunch I grabbed Mama Lee's sandals and a guitar. I haven't played for them for quite a while. A few of the clients actually remember that I play there. And have asked when I was coming to play again. I can't think of anything better to do on a rainy day in Vancouver then to bring a little happiness to these people who's lives are so regimented and so limited, ravaged by the relentless passage of time. Mama Lee is really struggling at the moment. Her care level has increased dramatically in the last few months. When I got there if she was bent over at the waist eating her lunch 2 inches from the plate. The nurse told me she been like that all day. Every time they straightened her up she would bend again. I tried to get her sitting up straight but I had no success either. She asked me to take her to her room. When we got there she tried on her new sandals and that put a smile on her face.
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| Mama Lee and the Lovely Lisa |
I had to return the disposable piping bags I bought at Michael's for Chef Boy R Lisa. They were too small. Not only did they take it back with no questions asked They let me keep my 40% off any one regular priced item voucher, then she refunded my money and gave me a second 40% off voucher. I know someone who shops at Michael's all the time. In my Lizard brain a plan was forming. I don't know what that means but it sounds cold blooded.My Lizard brain! Oh yeah, I like that.
I would need my Lizard brain for my next task. Like an Iguana sunning on a rock I was going to need patience and calm. I was going to the DMV in Port Coquitlam. On arrival the signs pointed me towards Reception. The Reception line was maybe 10 feet from the door. Pretty straight forward. But wait! They have arrows on the floor that point you to Reception. Its right there! These are people who are going to get a drivers license! If they need arrows on the floor to make a right turn to get to someplace they can see I'm not sure driving is their forte! Two different groups of people walked right by the sign, ignored the arrows and were walking around in circles amongst the already received when the Security Guard sent them back to Reception. There were 4 groups in front of me. I mean groups! How many people does it take to renew your license or like me, pay a speeding ticket. There were 2 Trios, a Quartet and one Solo act. It took about 20 minutes. When it was finally my turn to be received I told her I was there to pay a speeding ticket. She punched a button and handed me another ticket. This one had the number A020 on it."I just want to pay my ticket." I said."You still have to wait for your number to be called." She said with that glazed donut look that all the top civil servants have perfected. Then she went on her break!
20 minutes later my number came up. Imagine my surprise when not only did I have Ms. Charming back from her break, I was at the same Reception counter that I was received at 20 minutes earlier. It took less than one minute for me to put $171 on my Visa. She handed me my receipt and seemed disappointed when I didn't say thank you.
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| Building Trust $171 at a time! |
Now that that was taken care of I was headed over to Mark and Lea's to drop off those Michael's vouchers. Lea is a veritable whirling dervish of activity. She has multiple irons in multiple fires. She is also very busy. Me not so much but it was after 3 and I wanted to get home for the Blue Jays game. A quick run through Cheap Thrills for some tomatoes and a couple of things that were on sale. Really nice plums for .86. Then home before 4. I had heard about an Open Mic that went early on Thursdays at Gallaghers in Newport Village. I called up and they told me to be there by 6 if I wanted a good spot. I got there 10 minutes early and found parking right outside the doors. I went in to the small coffee shop, maybe 30 seats or so, and saw them setting up the P A I introduced myself and inquired about the sign up procedure. "Sheets on the bar Dude." said a guy who appeared to be wearing a tea cozy on his head! There were already 8 names on the list, starting at number 3. No one wanted to go first. I like going first. Technically it's second because the Host/Hostess always starts things off. Either way what do I care. I could be the father of everyone of the people in that coffee shop. I ordered a large Dark Roast and drank it black. Maybe that's why I'm wide awake at 1:43 am. Well, you can't unring a bell. As a matter of fact you can't even spell unring a bell because unring is not even a word. Just saying, playing a little fast and loose with the venacular!
I don't think I could have looked more out of place in this Hipster Hangout if I had been wearing a Make America Great Again Hat! My Hawaiian Shirt and Levi's had me standing out like a stiff dick at a wedding. I overheard several people ask who the "Old Guy" was? It took a moment for me to realise they were talking about me. After the hostess, who's name I can't remember finished her 3 song set I was up. "Are you sure you want to go first" she said. I get it. A young hip crowd she didn't want me scaring them off. As I was setting up I was getting the Hairy Eyeball from a table of twenty something guys all wearing matching Tea Cozy's. Maybe they were in a gang or something. They certainly weren't interested in me. The hostess tried to get their attention to no avail. "That's alright honey" I said " I've been standing on a stage of one sort or another since before you were born" I didn't say a word just went into the opening chords of Paris. By the time I finished singing the first verse I had their attention. I followed it up with the Love Monkey Blues, Extended Dance Mix.
Then I finished up with The Question. I had fun and I had a good set. Lots of applause and good comments. Even from the Hairy Eyeball Tea Cozy Gang. One of whom it turns out had seen me do standup 12 years ago. He saw my name on the sign up sheet and recognised it. That's because I dropped the Ward and for musical purposes I'm Dave Squatch, I used to be David Squatch but I lost my ID. I don't care how old that joke is. It makes me laugh every time.
That's all I've got
Till next time
Peace out y'all
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