Return of the Fat Bastard - Liqour up front, Poker in the rear

June 30th 2016

Underwater Squatch

      A  hectic morning around Casa Lisa. The mortgage company was sending a notary around to the house at 11 o'clock. Which is virtually the 11th hour. They already had to get a three day extension on our old mortgage because CIBC were dragging their feet sending the information over to the new lender. We have switched lenders. I went into the bank which Lisa has dealt with for 30 years, and with whom we have had our last two mortgages. I said "Give me your best rate and then I'm going to talk to my friend who is a mortgage  broker." They gave me what they said was their best rate not as good as the rate on our last mortgage but still under Prime. Our friend Chris with One Stop Mortgage came back with a better rate and the deal was done. I called CIBC because I had told everyone at the bank that I would let her know what our decision was. Since then our phone has been ringing off the hook. All of a sudden they came up with a better rate. The hell with them I made a deal. If you tell me this is your best rate, you should be sure it is your best rate because I won't ask you twice. That and Chris feeds his family with the commission from the lender The banks makes millions just on ATM Fees.That's just the kinda guy I am!
      I've been a little bit lax the last few days it just seems so pointless with Michelle's stuff piled all over the place, our stuff that needs to go into the attic is piling up and rearranging the living room for the Canada Day Eve Poker and Ham Sammich Spectacular. I washed all the floors and cleaned the bathroom because the lovely Lisa made me. While she went over to be with Mama Lee and help her pick out some clothes from the travelling haberdashery. That's okay, I used her toothbrush to clean the grout!!
      It's almost impossible to keep this house clean! Between the Ratdogs, the grandkids and me in a war against the pine needles. An endless unwinnable war. I do the best I can. If you have a problem with what I'm doing, do it yourself. That's my theory. Between sips of Jo and watering of the plants on the front deck I had the house Ship Shape by 10:30.
      The lovely Lisa got back from visiting Mama Lee right at 11 o'clock just moments before the notary came up the walkway. The notary was an East Indian woman who was about six foot tall and Twiggy thin. We were supposed to have 2 pieces of ID and photocopies of the same ID for her to take. I forgot to do that. And then I didn't realize that my printer scanner is also a copier and I could have eliminated a couple of steps you know the scanning, renaming, saving to desktop and printing steps. I could have just pushed copy! What a  dumbass . So while I'm in my Cramped, hot office performing unnecessary computer tasks the lovely Lisa and the long-legged notary were chatting up a storm. I came out of the office with the paperwork Sign Here sign here thank you goodbye. Good luck. And she was gone.
      I still needed to finish mowing the lawns. In the last 4 days I only managed to mow the easy part out front. But it was nearly noon so I decided I better have a bite to eat before I start mowing the lawn. Tamara gave us for softball-sized beefsteak tomatoes that I made into a tomato cheese and home grown lettuce sandwich yum yum. I made one for the lovely Lisa and we sat out on the front deck enjoying the smell of the Jasmine and the taste of these wonderful tomatoes the lovely Lisa went to Cheap Thrills for some Canada Day Eve poker spectacular snacks and I was going to finish mowing the lawn. That's when Christian showed up with the grandkids to collect their camping gear which they keep in my shed. I got a drive-by smooch from the two of them as they headed for the pool. They pretty much spent the entire 2 hours in the pool while Christian loaded up the van for the camping trip to Anmore for the long weekend. Anmore is just on the other side of the Burrard Inlet on the way to Buntzen lake. We were invited to come out for dinner tomorrow night and probably will. Then we'll try to catch the fireworks at LaFarge Lake on the way back. So the lawn mower is still sitting lonely, forlorn and unloved in the middle of the lawn it's supposed to be cutting. Ironic huh! Just as Christian left I got a phone call from Lea she had just finished doing Mama Lee's hair and was going to stop by to collect her fee.
      Leah is a mover and a shaker. I mean she's always on the go and she has restless leg syndrome! Bada Bing! Hair Anywhere is her travelling hair salon, Simply Sewing is her seamstress business and Twisted Guitar, that's her and Marks music business. We took care of the hair business and sat around on the front deck surrounded by beautiful flowers and growing plants. It was over 30 degrees out on the deck but I didn't feel anywhere near that warm. All day long there was a nice breeze blowing across the deck. Leah was just getting ready to leave when the lovely Lisa returned from her shopping trip to Cheap Thrills. Leah and the lovely Lisa were deep in conversation. Next thing I know they're measuring cushions for slipcovers. It was after 5 o'clock by the time we were finished seeing Leah off.
      It's at this point of the story that Chef Boy R Lisa arrives and goes nuts. There are only 5 of us for the first game. So of course in order to feed these five people Chef Boy R Lisa Lisa bakes a 10-pound ham, 3 pounds of potato salad, pickles, cheese and fruit platters, sliced cheddar cheese , tomatoes and three kinds of buns! Not counting the ones we're sitting on.
      Everything was ready to go when G McT showed up. Followed in quick succession by  Ralphie and Ricky. We had two late cancellations and two people coming a little later so we sat down and played some five handed poker. Ricky and the lovely Lisa split the $50 prize in the first game. Duffy showed up after work at the car lot and Bro Steve made his way over from Deep Cove after a tough week of Postal Hell he needed a little R&R.

The Pokeroids

      Between games we feasted on enough food to feed several dozen poker tables. The ham was perfectly cooked, The potato salad was store-bought and bland. Still, a pretty nice snack between poker games. We had seven players for the second game, so $70 in the pot and we were going to pay the top three. I knocked Bro Steve and the lovely Lisa out in one Fell Swoop. That left just me and Ricky who was on a real roll tonight. Bro Steve and the lovely Lisa got their money back and Ricky and I put 25 bucks a piece in our jeans. After everyone left, the lovely Lisa and I put away the tons of leftover food. There wasn't that much really because the lovely Lisa always packs up a care package for everyone who shows up at our house. The lovely Lisa got to bed just after midnight which is when I started writing this blog on my phone. It's hard to punctuate this stuff properly that way. But I'm trying. It's almost 3 am and I can't keep my eyes open. I'm going to bed!
It's 7:30 am and I am up writing the end to this posting. My spell check isn't working so I  have to do it the old fashioned way. By Guessing! 

My winnings.

 HAPPY CANADA DAY Y'ALL!!!!!

That's all I've got
Till next time
Peace out y'all