Return of the fat bastard - Child bearing hips and crotch of steel!

July 11th 2016

Elvis....come out and Plaaaaay

      As you all know I on Sunday's refrain from writing my blog. That doesn't mean I'm not doing anything. It's just that I am not going to write about it on Sunday. Instead I'm going to write about it on Monday, about Sunday I mean.
     I had a great Sunday. I woke up feeling a little down. Sat down at the computer and wrote my last post to this blog. I posted at about 11 o'clock and the lovely Lisa had the rest of the day planned.
      First we swing by Mama Lee's. Not much fun these days. Lisa wrote out a couple of cards that Mama Lee wants to send. And I tried to show her how to use her phone. She's having quite a bit of trouble retaining information. Parkinson's sucks!
      Then it was off to Tentatsu to meet up with Bro Steve." Order me a tuna avocado carpaccio" Bro Steve texted. We had to wait a few minutes for a table. We got it and when she brought us our tea we ordered for all three of us. Bro Steve still wasn't there. Like almost every Asian restaurant I've ever been to the food never comes at the same time. My entire meal came before anyone elses. I was almost through my lunch when they brought Bro Steve's carpaccio just as he walked through the front door. The lovely Lisa still hadn't got any food. The lovely Lisa was having a Bento Box. I called over the waitress and said "Hey, what's up with the lovely Lisa's bento box?" Oh it will be coming right up she said as she ran over to the cash register and ordered it. First issue we've ever had at this restaurant. I was finished my lunch. Bro Steve was finished his lunch. The lovely Lisa, already one of the world's slowest eaters got a late start on her lunch. I saw my dreams of the Open Mic at the Rocky Point brew pub slowly slipping away. We still had to do the work shop. As we left the restaurant Bro Steve asked me if I was going to go to the open mic at 4:00. I said probably not we won't get home until 6:30. The lovely Lisa said it won't take that long. I think she forgets that I've done this before.
      The first stop was the Real Canadian Warehouse on Kingsway because they sell restaurant supplies chafing dishes things like that. We bought a bunch of that stuff. Then we went to Stuporstore for the usual overflowing cart of condiments and bananas. We rolled into the driveway at 6:25. Too late to go to Rocky Point. But not too late to go to the Fireside in Sapperton.
      I got there just after 8. The open mic starts at 8:30. I was the only one there. I mean the only musician there. As they were setting up another fella Named Dave came in he was also a musician. It worked out great! I got up solo and played 8 of my original songs. By then there was a bass player and a drummer in the room I invited them up and we did a cover of Marshall Tucker Can't You See. The other Dave came up right after me. He did a lot of different covers. And he did them all kind of Jazzy. It was very interesting not something you see at most open mics. After half a dozen songs he invited me onto the stage to play with him. We did a couple of songs just the two guitars and the two Daves. A gold bass player and drummer backup + locked out on a little bit of powder blues. All in all I got to play for about an hour and a half. I had a great time.
      I was up at 8 with a full schedule ahead of me. My main objective was to take care of the front deck which is in desperate need of repair. On my way to get the tools necessary to repair the deck I saw the curtain rod that I should have put up over 2 weeks ago still sitting there in front of the window. We need the curtain rod to hold the shares. Because behind the curtain is the first of the Squatchapalisa 14 Pirates for Peace decorations.

   

I'll take what's behind the curtain Steve!

After hanging up the drapes I took a few minutes to yell at the crows that no longer feared the spinning CDs it's a freaking Smorgasbord of rotten cherries going on out there.

Try as I might I can find no way to avoid repairing the deck. Or is there? Oh look, the voice in my head said it's lunch time. I managed to milk 30 minutes or so out of lunch then I spent the entire rest of the day doing a repair on the deck. I had help. Next door Gord was there. So we don't work together anymore since I broke his arm with the pole saw. He is however a Fountain of Knowledge. Chris lent me his Sawzall and helped me with the deconstruction of the deck. I actually covered the window with plywood before I broke the window. There's a first time for everything!

Chris was a big help. Note the plywood over the window.

      I made a video of the experience. It's seven minutes long. The deck is halfway repaired.
https://youtu.be/L8UunJgSn0E

      I sent Michele a text warning her to stay off the deck. She walked in the door. Ignored the planks and fell through the unsupported floor boards.

Thanks to her child bearing hips and crotch of steel, the middle board held her from plummeting the 8 feet to the carport floor. No pictures I was too busy saving the silly twit. It scared the crap out of me. Can you imagine what my insurance rates would go up to!
      For safety sake I made both the wenches walk the plank! AARRGGGHH!!

Chef Boy R Lisa

Michele above deck!

      I was thinking I was going to go to the Heritage Grill and play tonight but the lovely Lisa brought home a nice dinner and we walked the plank to the Poop deck for our rations of Salt Pork and Grog!

That's all I've got
Till next time
Peace out Y'all


I was going to go to