Return of the fat bastard - Giant, scary beaver teeth!!

August 19th & 20th 2016

      I woke up to another beautiful day on the Left Coast. Excited about the Raft trip we were taking on the River of Golden Dreams between Alta and Green Lakes up at Whistler. I grabbed a cup of Jo and headed for the front deck to water my tomatoes and enjoy the  early morning sun.

My Tomatoes

       I knew I'd get the Rat Bastard Rat! The night before he took my peanut butter without setting off the trap. So I smothered the trigger front and back. He was a Fat Rat Bastard emphasis on WAS! Steal my tomatoes will you! If your squeamish don't look. If your a Rat ...take warning. I am the Squatchanator!

That's going to leave a mark.

      I had borrowed Christian's Van for the trip and had it packed and ready to go at 9:30. I had told Michelle with one L we would pick her up in North Van where she was Doggy Sitting at 10 - 10:30. We picked her up at noon. I had not factored in the lovely Lisa readying time or the drop our car off to Dr Dan on west Broadway time or the one lane north on the Lions Gate time. Noonish wasn't so bad! Plus we were going on an adventure!

       Jen and Christian have all the camping gear and use it regularly. They also store it in my shed. So its handy on the rare occasions I want to sleep in a tent. So far I have borrowed it never. I'm more of a Gentleman camper. Like we did in Austrailia. 40 days in an RV on the Gold Coast pre blog, and the trip of a lifetime. Ive still got a lot of life left in me so I may be a little premature in calling that the trip of a lifetime so I best add ... so far! We left the house about 10:30 to drop Otto off with Dr Dan who was driving up to Whistler to do the late night float down the River of Golden Dreams. That's right, we were planning on doing it twice. Once in the afternoon then again about 10 pm.  Traffic into the downtown was as usual horrific. I didn't care we were going on an adventure.
      We actually made pretty good time on our way over the Granville St Bridge and didn't hit any traffic until we hit Georgia St. It was a crawl until the causeway when the lanes changed to 2 lanes north bound. It was still slow but moving at least. Why does traffic always slow down on a bridge. Theres nowhere to turn. I want to go fast across a bridge. The less time spent on a bridge the better. Just in case it falls down! We picked up Michelle with one L near where she used to live in North Van at 12:15ish. She was doggy sitting for a friend. We were off!

On the road again

      If there is a prettier drive on the west coast I haven't been on it. The ocean, the mountains the excitement of driving that twisting, winding stretch of asphalt. Of course I wasn't driving because Lisa Andretti was at the wheel. The last time I drove the Sea to Sky I was on my motorcycle. Love that ride.

Lumberjack Gambling in Squamish

We stopped in Squamish in the shadow of the Squamish Chief for gas.

Squamish Chief

A quick bathroom break and we were back on the road.

      Whistler RV Park and Campground a 400 site dust bowl with a view that takes your breath away.

Black Tusk and dust!

We set up camp with Black Tusk silhouetted against the afternoon sun.

Freakin Tent!

What a view

We had set up the tent when Steve arrived with car number two and his friend Paul. I started blowing up inflatable rafts. There were five of us going down the River of Golden Dreams.

Ready to Go

We had to shuttle the cars between the beginning of the River of Golden Dreams and the end of the River of Golden Dreams so we would have a ride on both ends.

A three hour cruise! Sound Familiar?

 It was just after 4:00 when we hit the water with our fleet of Cheap Inflatable Vinyl Rafts. As we made our way across the lake to the mouth of the river it became apparent that these boats were going to be a challenge to paddle. Once we stopped spinning around in circles and we had made our way to the mouth of the River of Golden Dreams.

Getting the hang of it

The lovely Lisa on the camera

Mouth of the River of Golden Dreams

Little did we know what awaited us. As we paddled into the reeds and water lilies there was virtually no water flow. The vegetation slowed the current to nothing so we paddled along still spinning in circles. The first half of the River of Golden Dreams was great. We were laughing and calling out to each other as we made our way towards Green Lake.

 At about the half way point there is a small portage. About 600 meters on a paved path. Its at this point that the River of Golden Dreams turned into the River of Impending Doom! We hadn't gone 100 meters when we ran out of water. The girls with their tiny bodies and compact rafts floated away happily while I got out of the raft or Bro Steve helped with a push. It was frustrating but doable.

Bro Steve helping out over the Baver dam # 1

I would Plank myself on the raft and Bro Steve would push me off the gravel into deeper water. we didn't have to worry about deeper water for long as we hit the first of five Beaver Dams along the river

Beaver Dam # 2 Pffffftt

I don't want to get to detailed but the River of Impending Doom lived up to its name on the second Beaver Dam one of the rafts was punctured and while trying to escape the punctured raft impaled upon the Beaver Dam, Paul hurt his already wounded knee! Down a raft and with darkness coming on we were still 3 k from our landing point.

      That's when it happened! The biggest Beaver I have ever seen came swimming straight at me out of the dusk a fair sized branch clutched in its giant, scary beaver teeth. I was ready to club him with my paddle if he made a move to attack. I don't know if beavers are carnivores or not and I don't want to find out. Fish, fingers whats the difference to a beaver! He brushed his branch, which was about 2 inches thick and ten feet long against my raft and then he was gone into the gloom on the River of Impending Doom. It was a beautiful day the water felt warm and the sun was baking hot. Then it was not. First it was just shade trees then the sun started going down. We had been in the water/boats for more than four hours. I had the shivers happening so I got out of the boat that was running out of water every twenty feet or so and waded for about ten minutes dragging my boat behind me. Michelle with one L is tiny as is the lovely Lisa and I was getting concerned about Hypothermia. Two more Beaver Dams and we could see the lights of the Sports Plex where we were parked. In total we were on the River of Impending Doom for five and a half hours. Dr Dan was waiting for us when we got to the parking lot. The midnight River of Golden Dreams was cancelled. We went back to the campsite, sat and talked and ate sandwiches. We were all sacked out before Midnight.
      You know what just occurred to me. Maybe its Karma. I killed the Beavers rodent cousin, the Rat Bastard Rat and now they have it out for me. Screw em, I got plenty of peanut butter! Bwa ha ha!!
      At 7 am I had fruitloops for breakfast. I think its the first time Ive ever eaten them. It was one of those single serving boxes. I dont feel like I missed anything. Now Coco Puffs, Im crazy for them! Packed up the bed, the tent, the rafts and the belongings of six people scattered everywhere on our camp site.

Packing up and eating breakfast

We drank coffee and some people had pie for breakfast. We talked to our neighbour who was already tucked in for the night when we came back from the River of Impending Doom. He had a snazzy trailer with all the bells and whistles. He was retired, and like all retired men he knows something about everything and has all day to tell you about it!
      He was from Port Angeles and was up here with his in laws who live in Abbotsford and he was going to downsize his trailer when his son went off to join the army and his daughter went to college and when he went to the RV show in Seattle he got the same size trailer only with a queen bed instead of bunkbeds cause the kids are gone and they were going to Ribfest in Victoria and he went to the PNE thirty years ago. I wrote this as one sentence because he told me all this in one sentence! And the lovely Lisa says I dont listen!

Good morning Honey.

      We left the rustic and dusty Whistler RV and Campground behind in, you guessed it, a cloud of dust! Michelle with one L was with me in the Van while the lovely Lisa was dropping Dr Dan off for a meeting on Broadway. I dropped Michelle with one L at her car and then like any good Papa who was on his way to his Granddaughters eighth birthday party without a present. I went into panic mode. I stopped at Wallmart on the way home. I bought her some clothes a pair of shoes and a Wonder Woman Action Figure. I know Bella has a lot of Barbie stuff but I worked with Linda Carter on Hawkeye for a season and she was such a nice person and she was Wonder Woman on TV. Gramma Lisa was doing the same thing but she was doing it at the Gap. The kid scored big!
  We came home and we got the van unloaded and everything put away as the preparations for the party were in full swing. I can't say I saw much of the party I was inside where it was cool watching the Olympic Soccer final and trying to stay out of sight. There were ten kids splashing and peeing in that pool. I gotta dose it before I'm getting back in it.They played games, had water balloon fights and screamed constantly and for no apparent reason. And of course three Pinatas. Duck Gramma Lisa!

I gave the camera to Clarissa and she took some pics as did Gramma Lisa. All the while I was kicked back and chilled out. I just picked at food for dinner and will hit the sheets as soon as I finish this post.

Purple Birthday Ninja

Sierra and Bella

Clarissa

Pinata # 1

Pinata Time

Fun in the pool

AuntieTanya serving Cake

Caaaake

Cousins

Clarissa

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ISABELLA!

That,s all Ive got
Till next time
Peace out Y'all