Who's a Fat Bastard - I'm humped over like Elvis riding the Love Monkey.

February 23, 2015

Trout Lake

      I was sitting in the Dentist chair at 8:00 a.m. this morning. Is that a redundancy? A.m. and morning in the same sentence. Why yes it is Squatchy. Don't care, I like the way it sounds. It is an infinitely better sound than the Dentist's drill! I had a tooth break around an old filling so he had to take out the old silver filling and put in a new composite filling and rebuild the back of the tooth. I like my Dentist. He reminds me of Raj on the Big Bang Theory. I'm not sure if it's because he's Indian or just the effects of the nitrous oxide. Forty-five minutes in the chair and the tooth was good as new and my wallet was $150 lighter. Well the plastic was anyway! Thank the Teamsters we have good insurance. Chef Boy R Lisa is a Teamster. If your nice to her she'll tell you were Jimmy Hoffa is!
      I had to be downtown at 10:30 for a voice demo. It was to a studio I hadn't been for a while. It was, coincidentally, the studio I did my first voice gig at. I packed up the Rat dogs for the ride into town. I was thinking that after the gig I would take thee dogs to Trout Lake in East Van. The one end of the lake is off leash dog park. I was in the general vicinity of the studio thirty minutes early. It can be a real drag trying to find parking at 6th and Manitoba. On the first pass along 7th I won the parking lottery.  Free parking and I could see the studio from here! I have in the past parked three or four blocks from my destination.

There is a park that is one full city block in size that I have taken the Rat dogs and even back to the days of Sammy.

Sammy Buttmunch Jr. I wish I was as good a person as he was a dog.

That's like, twenty years and I still don't know what it's called.There are a lot of studios in this general area.

Nutmeg in the No Name park.

      We spent fifteen minutes in the park. There were a few other dogs in the park but they were all big and chasing balls. Rat dogs don't play that game! Elvis does however bark like a maniac when they run by. With the Rat dogs back in the truck, bag of dog bombs in hand, the garbage was on the other side of the park, I made my way to GGRP. The R in the name is Miles Ramsey, He was the Chevron Spokesman for years. He gave me my first voice gig after we worked together on a Chevron Commercial. I was Rodney the human engine. I was buzzed in and made myself comfortable in the waiting room. I was reading with a woman named Paula that I had never met before. She had a nice voice. We got down to important stuff right away. She told me that she had seen me in the park with the Rat dogs and she was a dog owner too. She had a Golden Retriever I was told as she brushed freshly shed Golden Retriever off her sleeve. We were brought the copy to look at and were in front of the mics two minutes later. Paula was great. She has a very clear professional sounding tone. I sound like me. That's okay, sometimes they like that.
      I was out of there by 10:40. Talked to Peter, the director, for a minute or two and went to rescue the Rat dogs. Trout Lake here we come. It was on the way to Tentatsu so I swung in to the park and released the hounds! Okay, Rat dogs. It was another amazing day. There were lots of dogs and quite a few alternate life stylers.

Jobless mutants!

If you have two pounds of metal on your face and multi-coloured hair, I'm guessing you have a fair bit of spare time! I'm not sure if it's statistically correct but anecdotally it seems the freakier the owner, the bigger the dog! A lot of big dogs there today. We walked along the edge of the water and followed the path through the grassy area away from the dog beach. Rat dogs only swim out of necessity. By that I mean if you toss them in against their will. Nutmeg won't even go out in the rain!
      It was a little early for lunch and Nutmeg was already headed back to the truck so I decided to bail on Tentatsu. Instead I decided to stop by to see Mama Lee and eat the leftover Squatch like salad I had at home. Mama Lee was looking good yesterday. She was energetic and alert. We sat in her room and talked about what a beautiful day it was and how she really would love to go for a walk and "Alright already" I said " I'll take you to the Lake after lunch." I pushed her out to the dining room thinking " I should have gone to Tentatsu!"
      On the way out Jessica, the Recreational therapist, mentioned that I hadn't been in to play guitar for the residents in a while. I said "I've been busy." She's a very nice girl and does a great job with all of the residents. As I was sitting down to my lunch I was looking at my guitar, still in it's case from last nights Jam. What the hell. I was going back to take Mama Lee for a walk anyway. I usually would play from about 12:30 for an hour or so. I left the Rat dogs in the truck and set up in the window bench. I forgot how much I enjoy playing for them. It's hard to tell how much they enjoy me though. A lot of them are non verbal and it can be hard to tell if they're rocking out or nodding off!

No more, please

      When I was done I got Mama Lee ready to go out. Warm jacket and a blanket in her bag in case her legs got cold. We stopped at the truck to pick up the Rat dogs. I put Nutmeg on Mama Lee's lap and Elvis on a leash. It's only a couple of hundred metres to the path but I have to cross the road. Elvis is not a short leash kind of guy! He waited until we were in the middle of the road before he ran in front of Mama Lee's wheelchair and got tangled. I got the leash loose pretty quick and he bolted into the park dragging the leash behind him. I let the Rat dogs off leash and started around the lake with Mama Lee. Her chair is a little awkward for me to push because the canes are too low. I'm humped over like Elvis riding the Love Monkey.

Elvis's sex toy "The Love Monkey" the lovely Lisa won't touch it!

Mama Lee was enjoying herself. I should do it more often. When I think about the state that she is in it seems so lame to not take her because it's challenging for me. Mama Lee's whole life is a challenge!

Mama Lee looking pretty in the sunshine.

Sometimes it's hard to keep things in perspective. It's also a much more strenuous workout for me. It took us about thirty minutes to do one lap. Nutmeg was on Mama Lee's lap on the road side of the lake. I put Elvis on the long retractable leash and that worked way better. He likes to be out front and when people walked by I would yell "Mush!"

I think I can, I think I can!

As soon as Nutmeg was put down she made bee line for the parking lot looking for the truck, that wasn't there. Mama Lee was a little bit cold so we just went back to her place. It was a good afternoon.
     When I got home I got a call from Genesis and booked my first work. I will be doing the TED talks at the Convention Centre for ten days in mid March. I don't know if I will do anything before then. I just got off the phone when I got my Ho warning. The lovely Lisa was on her way. I watched the Raptors blow a lead and lose to the Pelicans. How can a Dinosaur lose to a Pelican?!! The lovely Lisa was in and out of the shower, eaten and in bed before 7:00 with a 2:00 a.m wake up call time. I had this funky salad that Chef Boy R Lisa brought home for dinner. Ham, chicken and multiple cheeses! I then spent the rest of the night reading and watching Blue Bloods I had recorded. I have always been a Tom Selleck fan. I rolled myself into bed about midnight feeling like I accomplished something today. What I didn't accomplish was a workout. I gotta get on it early. The longer the day goes the less likely I am to do it. I got a lot of exercise today but I don't want that to be an excuse to slack off. I broke the 280 mark for the first time in fourteen years. I'm feeling good about myself inside and out.

June 20, 2002. 275 lbs

That's all I've got

Till Next time

Peace out Y'all

©2015 Dave Squatch Ward