Who's a Fat Bastard - I don't remember when I ate this but I took a picture so I must have.

February 10 and 11, 2015

I don't remember when I ate this, but I took a picture so I must have.

      Its funny how one moment you think you have so much time and next thing you know you're out of time and scrambling.Take writing yesterday's blog for instance. I have gotten into the habit of getting up in the morning grabbing a cup of Joe and writing my blog.

      When I got up this morning not only did I not have a cup of drippy Joe, I had a Dentist appointment. Just a teeth cleaning so I was looking forward to it. I always have the same woman clean my teeth and I like her, so I didn't want to hit her with drippy Joe breath. I was all out of my garlic flavoured toothpaste so I used the lovely Lisa's Crest and headed out the door with minty fresh breath!

No blog, no problem. It would only take about an hour at the dentist and then I would go home and write my blog. I don't really have much to say about yesterday anyway. Basically, I did my workout

then sat around playing guitar till my sweaty clothes were dry. That doesn't count the hour and a half that I was on hold with Revenue Canada. I got my Ho warning from the lovely Lisa and hopped into the shower. Several hours too late. I couldn't get the smell of ripe cheese out of my nose! 

The lovely Lisa walked through the doors about 6:00, she kissed me hello/good night, had a shower and went to bed.

      About 8 o'clock I packed up the Rat dogs and went over to the Rec Centre on Poirier. It's well lit and I can let the Rat dogs off their leash without having to worry too much about them becoming coyote bait. Elvis once chased a Coyote down the alley way. After they had finished peeing on the entire planet, we headed down to Stupor Store for no apparent reason. I couldn't think of a single thing that I needed.

Night time at the Stupor Store

Before you know it, not only am I walking into Stuper Store but I'm pushing a shopping cart! Whatever it is I don't need, apparently I'm going to get a lot of it. 

      I walked up and down every aisle in Stupor Store. I'd been there for 45 minutes and I had a five count of avocados and a jar of peanuts. I also attracted the attention of the Security Guard. I don't know the secret handshake yet so I just smiled and moved along.  

      And then it hit me, a sudden gust of memory! Knee highs and white socks! Not for me, for Mama Lee. I trundled off with my giant, near empty cart. A smile on my face now that I had a purpose in life! To cover that sweet old ladies pointy feet with buck a pair knee highs and white sports socks. Mission accomplished!

The view from the dentist chair, that's Mount Baker behind the giant eyesore.

      There was a message waiting for me when I got home from the dentist. It was Lynn from Mama Lee's place saying that the optometrist called and did we want to go ahead with putting a pair together for Mama Lee. I called Lynn back and told her I was on my way over. I can't do these things with Mama Lee on the phone. It's hard enough to understand her in person. Thirty minutes later I'm no further ahead on the Mama Lee adventure than I was when I got there except, I had the number of the optometrist who checked Mama Lee's eyes. She had lasik two years ago but she wants glasses. Not only does she want glasses, she wants them to be bi focals. I told her then she could see boys and girls! She didn't get it. Now that I've written it down I don't think I get it either.

Everything was Ducky at the lake

Looking to drop a Rat Dog Bomb

      I took the Rat dogs to Como Lake for a once around to decompress. It was a beautiful winter day in British California, I mean Columbia. The rain let up and the sun peeked out for a few minutes. I was lost in thought when a 90 pound woman with a 120 pound dog was being dragged towards us.
Elvis struck his most belligerent pose, ears up and stubby tail ramrod straight. The monster dog pulled up short when Elvis went ape shit. It was a Great Dane puppy. He pulled his tail between his legs and just about knocked the woman over. "He's supposed to be on a leash" she yelled over her shoulder as the giant puppy dragged her off. " And you'd have a man instead of that giant dog if you weren't such a bitch" I said to Elvis.

"You can say that again Dadio"

      I made a quick stop at Cheap Thrills to try to glom a couple more of those strip loins at $5 per pound. Sold out. I bought some tomatoes. I don't know why, I have tomatoes at home. I went down to the Loony Store in the same plaza looking for a case for my new phone. Where I got the phone they only had pink ones left. I like pink. I have a number of pink items that I'm told really bring out my eyes! Mind you, they were all white before I washed them with my new Canada Day Tshirt last year.
Nada.
      Home and back to work on my taxes. I have the ledger all set to go. Revenue Canada has me on hold, again. I just want an access number so I can file my 2013 GST. I didn't realize I hadn't until I got my access code for 2014. Ooops! And dumb, they owe ME money! While I was listening to RevCans musac I was on my cell phone to the optometrist about Mama Lee's glasses. It was actually 2013 when he saw Mama Lee. I arranged to take her to his office/store next Monday. As I hung up my cell phone the Government funded Musac stopped and a pleasant voiced young man came on the line and was eager to assist me. After three hours and eleven minutes spread out over two days I had my access code in two minutes. I think I'm being geriatrically profiled. He asked me if I needed to be walked through the computer program. I was going to say "You think because I'm pushing 60 I can't read any more. If I could find my glasses I'd show you!" instead I said "Yes please " and increased the print size on the screen. Three minutes later and a refund on the way I got my Ho warning from the lovely Lisa.

Gone fishin

      The house was pretty good so I headed down to the Green Room to work out. I took the bed linens with me to throw in the wash then I did the usual fifteen sets of my floor exercises and 200 One Stair Steps. I ditched the Iron Maiden and I was out of the shower and watching the Raptors game on TV when the lovely Lisa walked through the door for the start of her weekend. We briefly considered going out but Chef Boy R Lisa just put in a fifteen hour day. I was banished to tiny TV town to watch the Canucks do everything possible to lose the game. Twice blowing two goal leads only to come back and win it in overtime. The Raptors won a tight game against a good team and I just have to put in some pictures and you're up to date.

That's all I've got

Till Next time

Peace out Y'all

©2015 Dave Squatch Ward