Dave Squatch Ward: Who's a Fat Bastard

November 26 2014

Kidney stones suck! I haven't been able to do a damn thing all day. Every time I move the pain shoots through my entire body. Ok, not my entire body, just my lower back and my internal organs. There is a definite connection between kidney stones and the strength of your legs. A few times today the pain has taken my legs out from under me. I have drank buckets of water, which has been leaving my body at all too frequent intervals. It's a good thing that I'm going. Mostly because that's how you get rid of the kidney stones. It's a bad thing because it means I have to keep getting up and down. When you move, it moves your internal organs including your kidney. And that hurts worse than getting your foreskin caught in your zipper!
Thank God I married well. The lovely Lisa knows that I'm a bit of a dickhead when I'm not feeling well. Ok, maybe a little more than a bit. In my defense, I don't go out looking for it. Attention I mean. I'm not going "Honey can you, Honey will you, wah, wah, wah!" No way! I save that for my blog!
Other than the occasional spasm of blinding pain, I had a rather pleasant day. I was sure there were several things I could do that didn't involve movement. Turns out there's not!
I sat in my office chair with the expensive cushion playing computer games. That hurt. Then I lay in bed a while watching TV. That hurt too. I went out into the living room, where the lovely Lisa was turning our home into a winter wonderland. That hurt the most. Every time I looked over the lovely Lisa was looking at me with this worried look on her face. Yes, i know it's because she loves me. Tell me how does that make anybody feel better? It didn't matter where I went or where I sat or what position I was in, I just could not get comfortable. It wasn't made any easier by having to pee every fifteen minutes.

I didn't have much of an appetite today either. I had an apple a banana and an avocado. I was stretched out in bed when the smell of frying chicken wafted down the hallway. I got out of bed to see what was cooking. The lovely Lisa was making coconut chicken curry. Definitely one of my favorites. She makes it from scratch. With the smell of roasting spices and ginger filling my nostrils I went back to the bedroom and turned on the Raptors game. I faded in and out until the lovely Lisa came and got me for dinner.
This is such a nice curry that the lovely Lisa makes. It's not overly hot, but has huge flavour. Now if I just had some chipati or roti.
After dinner I sat in the living room and watched the lovely Lisa putter around with all of her Christmas treasures.
Only 5 more Rubbermaid bins to go.
I didn't take many pictures today. Just the lovely Lisa's curry making technique.