Who's a Fat Bastard - A little bit of hot sauce, and Bob's your Uncle!

October 5, 2014

Front deck flowers

     I want to start out by thanking all of you who take the time to offer me advice and encouragement. I try to always accept the encouragement graciously and the advice... Well, I am a man! Taking advice from someone is like reading the directions on an IKEA cabinet! Probably not gonna happen. Until the cabinet leans slightly to the left and you have an extra shelf and nine bolts left over. Then you read the instructions! Which by the way contain no words. I'm poring over the Swedish hieroglyphics like Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom. One wrong move and I could be crushed by a giant Swedish Meatball! $1.99 for the dinner at your local IKEA.

      I never know how this is going to come out. Some times I look at the pictures I took during the day. Some times a certain event triggers a line of thought and some times, I just don't know! When I think of the hundreds of hours I have spent behind this keyboard, I am amazed. I am amazed because I have a long history of giving up. I am amazed that I have been able to do this more than 150 times now. Mostly though I am amazed that people read it. not only read it, but respond to it. I think I'm going on about this because I haven't been able to do much for the last three days with my groin issue. Besides the guilt about not working out, I don't feel as well as I was feeling. My energy level has dropped way down and I feel slow witted and sluggish. Some would say I started out slow witted and sluggish. To those people I say "You got a problem with that?" Groin or no groin I'm working out tomorrow. Even if I just roll around on the Alphamat for an hour. Think of Sea Lions on the buoys in Fanny Bay.

     Today, when the sun came out. We did something we rarely do on Sundays. We went and played golf. There are a number of reasons why we don't play golf on the weekends. It's too busy. I like to watch football. Lisa usually gets up for work at 2 am Monday mornings and most importantly, I like to watch football. My deal with Lisa was if she wanted to do something that didn't involve the TV, I would do it with her. We are going to play Kensington Park today.

     I tried a new lettuce wrap today. You can never be sure what's going to happen when you put hot things into lettuce. Today, Sloppy Joe lettuce wraps. It started out as Fridays meat sauce for the poker game pasta. I added some chopped onion and cilantro. A little bit of hot sauce and Bobs your uncle.

Sloppy Joe's and Watermelon

They're a little loose and sloppy, and you should wear a bib. Hey they're not called Anal Joe's you know!

     A day without Momma Lee, is a like a day without sunshine. We stopped by on our way to the golf course for a quick visit. 

She was in good spirits and was just getting ready for lunch. She skipped her breakfast this morning which is not good. Some of her meds need to be taken with food. I lectured her again about the fasting thing. I hate doing that. She says she won't, but she will. We moved on to happier subjects. She's looking forward to Thanksgiving at our house. It looks like we will have 22 people for dinner. And at least five dogs. In case we run out of Turkey. We left when Momma Lee's lunch came and headed to Kensington Park. 

     It was a nice ride over Burnaby Mountain. It was overcast and grey but warm and not raining.

We haven't played this course for years, so we were really looking forward to it. They were setting up tents and stuff for what looked like a soccer tournament. there were no kids there yet just a lot of grownups all walking around looking very focused on what they were doing. It's a bit of a walk down to the clubhouse from the parking lot through Squirrel infested woods. They are everywhere!
Red ones, black ones, grey ones and I think I saw an Albino one! He's probably the ring leader. Because with those beady little red eyes....he looks like Satan! If Satan was four inches tall and weighed Thirteen ounces. They're getting ready. Be prepared for Squirrelmageden!!

Some one way smarter than me said "The worst day spent golfing, is better than the best day spent working!" I believe that to be true. It's a tough little course built on the slopes of Burnaby Mountain. It has quite a lot of gravity. I started off great. I won the first three holes and collected six skins in the process. 

Three for score, two for KP (Closest to the pin, I don't know why they use a k), and one Birdie Bonus. That was the highlight of my round. The first three holes. Lisa went off on me like Ray Price on his wife in an elevator. 

She won carry overs of five, and then four skins. I was the one being skinned. She beat me like a rented mule! I never scored a point on the back nine and was crushed by the Lovely Lisa 13 - 9. She tore her victory kiss from my lips and walked off the green leaving me shattered and violated. Nothing another kiss won't fix! I trudged by the soccer players getting a team picture taken, sure they could see my defeat written across my face.

     We had to do some shopping so we stopped at Cheap Thrills (No Frills). And we were home by 3:00. I made myself some Buffalo Salami Lettuce Wraps, (thanks Daryl and Meaghan, )to hold me over until dinner at 6:30. It is such nice salami.

Buffalo Salami from great white hunter Daryl

     I ate out on the front deck. It was 22 degrees and sunny. Lisa has the deck set up pretty good with lots of greenery and flowers.

I feel so tired. I sit in my chair and let Lisa run the remote. I gotta work out tomorrow! We watched a few episodes of Pawn Stars and at about 5:30 I started putting dinner together. We had two beautiful T bones, asparagus and I made a Squatch Salad. Lisa had some Pasta and Corn on the cob as well. 

In retrospect we should have brought these home from the golf course. Mushrooms fried in butter and garlic.

      Lisa wasn't sure what kind they were and is funny about that kind of stuff. I said let's feed them to the kid selling pop at the 13th hole. If we don't hear an ambulance, we can pick some for home!
     Lisa was in bed before 7 pm and I turned on the sports. Baseball, KC swept the series, and of course NFL Football. New England destroyed Cincinnati even though the Bengals have nicer uniforms. I had to run out and pick up a couple of things for Lisa to take to work then back in front of the TV. Fortunately I fell asleep. I've been lethargic ever since. I can't seem to fully wake up.
I gave the bones from the steaks to Elvis and Nutmeg.

Bone me Daddio

I faded in and out of reality until I sat down about 12:30 am to write this. It's just after 2 am now and I'm just finishing up.
     Tomorrow Pappa Squatch Day Scare. Bella is in school all day and Christo half a day. Should be fun.....for me. Bwa ha ha

That's all I got
Till next time
Peace Out Y'all

©2014 Dave Squatch Ward