Who's a Fat Bastard - I named it Joe!

October 17, 2014

We be Jammin

     I think that I should just set my alarm to 9:30. Because that seems to be the time that I
get out of bed these days. The good part about that is when I get out of bed Lisa's already made the coffee. It's drip Joe not instant Joe. I like No Name coffee. I always thought it should have a name so I named it Joe, instant Joe, which I make when Lisa is working, and drip Joe when she's not. The bad part about it is the reason I'm sleeping so late is because I'm staying up until 2:30 or 3 o'clock in the morning! I gotta change my routine. 6:30 in the evening I'm nodding off in my chair 1:30 am I'm wide awake. Like now, only it's only 12:51 right now, but I am wide awake!
     Well anyway, when I got up this morning I had a couple of cups of Joe and then decided I would try to work out. With mixed results. I was able to do 1000 Four Stair Stretches using my two pound weights.

There's very little stress on my groin doing this exercise and it makes my shoulders feel better. With the weights in hand and good pace it's a workout. The hard part is getting my left leg up on the stair. That's the side with the groin pull. Once it's there, it doesn't hurt hardly only a little bit. 
     I got through the first 25 One Stair Steps with my right leg. I did six with my left leg and stopped. I wasn't able to do any of the Belly Crunches or Situps. I need to figure out some exercises that won't stress my groin. Brother Steve says my legs are too skinny. He says their funny looking. Like toothpicks stuck in a cocktail weenie!

     I rode the Iron Maiden for an hour and watched an episode of House of Cards. So far the acting is great but the plot eludes me. I will try to ride more if it's all I can do. 
     I had an appointment to see the doctor at 3:50 and of course I was now feeling fine. Kinda, sorta. I'm sitting in the examination room at the doctors office.  Playing with the plastic spine model and looking to see what I could do with a tube of lube.

Stirrups or no stirrups?

     My doctor is away so I am seeing the doctor covering for him. I  feel pretty good today. I was not able to do my full workout but I was pretty happy with what I did.  I don't want to aggravate my groin but I don't want to sit around the house or like the old joke says  When he sits around the house,  He sits around the house!  
     When the doctor came in he checked my temperature looked down my throat and listened to my lungs. He says I have a an infection in my throat and that it's going around. He's had dozens of patients in the last week. He told me to drink plenty of fluids, put on my big boy pants and it should be done in a couple of more days. I am feeling much better. With that in mind I French kiss the Lovely Lisa and now I'm going to the Legion to spread death amongst the oldies.
     Lisa and I were picking Willie up at the legion then going to the Rivers Reach to meet Annie for prime rib. We went inside and made ourselves at home at the Scots Corner. It's where all the Mc's and Mac's gather on a Friday after work. While Lisa was chatting with Maureen and Patsy I was out in the smokers lounge with Willie and Wee Tommy McNair. The Scots love their Fags ( That's what they call smokes) and their deep fried anything! Hard to believe they die young! They're a good bunch, always slagging each other and laughing too loud. That's why they put them in the corner. There was one draw left in the meat draw. Willy bought the tickets and we waited, sure that we would be taking home the bacon! Or the steaks or the turkey or whatever creature had been slaughtered for our dining enjoyment. We came up empty. Like Cromagnon man, coming home from the hunt Mammothless. To face the scorn of his woman, and the hungry cries of his children. We slunk out of the Legion meatless. Our heads bowed in shame. 
     I got over it quick because we were going to have prime rib. Rivers Reach in NewWest is always busy. They have good food and excellent staff. 

Prime Rib Veggies and salad

I ordered mine with a salad. They brought me potato. Lisa wanted the baked potato to go with mashed potatoes she ordered for her prime rib. The waitress brought my salad and It seemed to me that Willie's meat was way bigger than mine and we had both ordered the Fat Bastard cut. I didn't really care, I eat too much red meat anyway. One day they're going to remove my colon with a corkscrew! Annie came back from the bathroom and said "OMG look at the size of that piece of meat!" Looking up from my meal to make sure she wasn't talking about me. I realised that Annie had gotten my Fat Bastard cut. I made her trade with me even though I had eaten half of her meal.....I'm kidding! She cut a slab off her slab and passed it over. They do a nice prime rib there. We ordered dinner at 7:30 and the prime rib was still very nice. 
     We went over to Annie and Willie's place overlooking the giant buildings, overlooking the Mighty Fraser River. For years and years, and going back years before the Lovely Lisa was a part of my life, I would stop by A & W's for a pot of tea. We have spent many evenings laughing and and solving the worlds problems. We have renewed that tradition lately, like we need another reason, Elvis and Nutmeg get to see Mac and Lincoln. Here's the thing. The only one excited about it is Mac. Elvis is thirteen, Lincoln is ten and Nutmeg is a scaredy dog! Poor Mac! They all went up. Two on Lisa and one on Annie. All he wanted was to play!

A nice pot of tea and some Scottish sweeties for Lisa and we were on our way. In our possession we had some Square Sausage that Annie had made, and some Cumberland Sausage that Willie bought off of some back alley sausage peddler. We also had an incense burner that They had brought back from their travels. 

The smoke comes out his mouth, Mon

We were coming across NewWest to Coquitlam so I started singing because Lisa was driving.
Will she take the High road 
Will she take the Low road
Will we get stuck in traffic on North road.
I was the only one in the car that thought that was funny! They are building the Skytrain along North road. Lisa forgets and next thing you know, hello parking lot. That has happened a few times lately and she's a little bit sensitive about it. I can't say any more.......
She's coming!!

That's all I got
Till next time 
Peace Out Y'all

©2014 Dave Squatch Ward