Monday, 27 June 2016

Return of the Fat Bastard - She's washing her hair

June 27th 2016

I only have eyes for you.
      Nothing like a good nights sleep to bring everything into focus. Yesterday I took the day off  blogging. That let me go to bed at 11:00. I slept right through until my alarm went off at 7:00. I like this time of day. The morning traffic hasn't quite started yet. We live on a busy street and have a Bus Stop right across the street from our front deck. This is the time I usually water the plants on the front deck. Or did until I started staying up till the wee hours writing. The thing is, I am always pretty busy. That's pretty much why I have something to write about. I'm not nearly clever enough to make shit up! I do have a slightly skewed perception of the world around me and tend to try to find the humor in everything that happens to me. Even when I was waiting for my heart surgery I was cracking jokes with the Nurses, Doctors and anyone else who would listen. You know, Boob jobs and penis implants! Then I threw up on the Nurse! I don't know if it was the jokes or the projectile vomit but that's the last thing I remember until I woke up with 3 new zippers and the lovely Lisa holding my hand. The point I'm trying to make is I need to figure out how to write the blog and live the things I write about and still get some sleep. 
      I left the house at 8:00 for a 9:15 appointment downtown. I was there in plenty of time. The appointment went well. I left and drove home. See, sometimes nothing happens! If every day was like this I would have to change the title to Return of the Fat Bore! I'm off to pickup Mama Lee for an appointment with an opthamologist always an adventure.
     Well that didn't work out. Mama Lee wasn't up to going out today. She doesn't really need to see an opthamologist. She worked for an opthamologist in New York City in 1970 and on occasion, in her mind, I think  she goes back there. Without a doubt the mental deterioration is much harder to deal with than the physical issues. Sometimes its hard to watch.
      We are being invaded by the apple tree. It is a five way and supposed to be a Dwarf!

Hundreds of apples
Taking over the arbor and the sandbox

Yum Yum 
The freakin things a Dwarf like I am! It makes lots of apples but it has gotten out of control. They are all really good eating apples. They should be ready around the time Squatchapalisa 14 - Pirates for Peace takes place August 13. If caught liberating apples, you will be forced to consume them! ARRGGHH! That was a long way for that shameless plug. Matey!
      I had to get some more promo shots. I don't tell you about my auditions unless I get something. Of course then I tell you that I got a part and they write my part out! Just smile and cash the cheque. That's my agent Nancy talking. It's a series. If it gets picked up ?? They already cast you once. It's good to have an optimistic Agent. Hard to believe we've been together since 1988.
      This is the head shot I'm using right now. It was also my High School year book picture. I just printed four at Walmart. I used to buy them 100 at a time. At the rate I'm using them these days 100 would last me 20 years!

Business Squatch
Michele is going to take new head shots after she moves in. I'm trying to write this as I go so I can get on some kind of a schedule. I was supposed to be lawn boy today but never got around to it. Chef Boy R Lisa got home around 4:30 and we had a quick bite to eat before she went to bed. Now I'm sitting in front of the Heritage Grill in New Westminster.
Open Mic at the Heritage Grill
It's open mic night! I'm hoping to get some pictures tonight. The problem is it's hard to take a selfie when you're playing a guitar and singing. The lovely Lisa seldom is able to attend these open mics because of her work schedule. Or she's washing her hair. She seems to wash her hair a lot! I'm sitting out front in my car for two reasons. First it's too loud in the grill because there is 40 ukulele players in there all playing at once. And 2 there's 40 ukulele players in there! I'm only kidding. They play music and they sing it doesn't get any better than that. Not only that some of those ukulele ladies are pretty mean!
     I was third up and I hit the stage about 9:15 I played Paris solo. Then brought Ernie up to play lead guitar and Greg to play bass while Maureen laid down a solid beat on the drums. Paris, Clarissa, Love Monkey Blues and a cover of Marshall Tuckers Can't you see. Ernie wailed on the solos. Big fun. No pictures but one very long video that I can't figure out how to shrink to put in the blog. So here's one of the songs I did. Previously recorded.
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=va6OnX0plsY

 I was home and kicked back by 10:30.

That's all I've got
Till next Time
Peace out Y'all

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