Dave Squatch Ward: Return of the fat Bastard - Spontaneous Interpretive Dance

October 29th 2016

Meow

Happy Halloween. In my opinion, the happiest day of the year. And this year we get it twice. Halloween isn't actually until Monday but when it falls during the week it's usually the Saturday before, or sometimes if it's late in the week it's the Saturday after. That's Grown up Halloween. Where the treats come in shot glasses and beer cans and the trick is trying not to puke on your costume or get a Taxi home.
Kiddie Halloween is always on the day. That's big fun too. I like to go out Tricker Treating with the Grandkids. See all the kids in their costumes. So excited. Flying high on the sugar buzz from the stuff they're not supposed to eat until they get home. I suffer from Halloween envy! The neighbourhood behind the school away from the main road is prime T&T territory Cul De Sacs and lots of kids. When we bought the house 16 years ago, right across from a school I thought we had hit the mother lode of Halloweenies! I could not have been more wrong. That first year we blew our brains out. I had battery operated bats circling the drive way. Cobwebs and Jack O Lanterns on the stairs leading to the Skull on the front door. A Skull that is attached to a microphone and it`s jaws moves when you talk! Veryyyyy Scarrrrry! That first year with my scary mask at the front door the lovely Lisa and I sat in eager anticipation awaiting the arrival of the hordes of sugar bombed children that were sure to come. The lovely Lisa with several hundred individually wrapped pieces of chocolate and I with a Gargoyle Mask and a Microphone.
Out the window I saw Alice the neighbour, whom we had just met, coming up the walk with her grandaughter, who was just a toddler. The bats were flying, the Jack O Lanterns where throwing their eerie lite onto the cobwebs adorning the stoop. As they approached the door I said into the microphone in the most evil voice I could muster Who dares knock on my door! Then I threw open the door with my Gargoyle mask on and scared the Bejeezus out of her. She screamed like I had stabbed her. I took the mask off right away and she screamed even louder. She wouldn't take any candy and almost fell down the stairs trying to get away! For two or three years when she would see me out in the yard she would run away into the house. It wasn't until we brought Nutmeg home and I let her play with the puppy that she finally warmed up to me. We didn't have Grandkids then so that was it. The first Halloween in our new home had exactly one trick or treater who left emotionally scarred! It appears the four lane bus route street we live on discourages parents from allowing their kids to work our hood! I never figured the dead kid in traffic factor when I got set up! Same thing the next year. Those early years, the lovely Lisa and I ate several hundred individually wrapped pieces of chocolate. No wonder I was a Fat Bastard! After the second year we started going over to GMcT and Penny's for Halloween. We would play cards and when the door bell rang GMcT and I would drop a severed head on a rope behind the trick or treaters while Penny and the lovely Lisa gave them candy. The kids would scream and the parents at the curb would laugh and wave up to us on the balcony. I miss that place. Now the Grandkids start their Trick or Treating with us and Next Door Gord and Alice and Rod and Toni our other neighbours then they head over behind the school to a big residential area with tons of kids and lots of houses all decorated and spooky. I go with them in costume if it's not raining.
Last night for instance it wasn't raining. We started our evening at 7:00 at The Parade of Lost Souls down on Commercial Drive. The lovely Lisa looked spectacular in her Leopard skin body suit.

The lovely Lisa Leopard Queen

She had the full meal deal. Even her earrings and shoes were Leopard skin.

Puurrrrrrrrr

I was more of an Alley Cat. A little rumpled, ragged and rough around the edges but strangely lovable.

A scruffy old Tom Cat

I made a name tag that I pinned to my costume that said " Hey Donald! Try to grab this Pussy!"

Who knew?

We met Steve and his friend Paul on the Drive and walked through the neighbourhood, there was music every where both live and recorded.

The streets were alive with Halloweenies

More Halloweenies

A Classic Rock Band was playing on the balcony across from the park. There were numerous drum circles and solo acts around every corner.

One of the many Hippy drum circles

Of course there were tons of costumes and the lovely Lisa Leopard Queen was drawing a lot of attention.

The lovely Lisa Leopard Queen

I was on my guard prepared to repel any Dogs who got to close to the lovely Lisa Leopard Queen.

A lady covered in beer cans playing a French horn badly

Down at the Rec Centre they had a Bandstand set up and a group called A Gang of Flying Monkeys was performing.

Gang of Flying Monkey's

We wandered around the neighbourhood listening to the music and admiring the costumes. We watched a group of Zombies flash mob to Thriller.

It's a Thriller

All in all a fun time.Just before 9:00 we headed out to Linda`s place in New Westminster for a musical get together. There was a woman dancing by herself on a corner when Steve bet Paul $5 that he wouldn`t dance with her.

Spontaneous Interpretive Dance

Easiest $5 Paul ever made. They stayed down on the Drive while the lovely Lisa Leopard Queen and I went to make some music.

Lea, Linda, Kimmi Sue and Maxine

Linda is a Ukelelean with a sweet high voice and a lot of musical friends. She has a small condo and it was full. Full of positive energy and good music! Linda is not a Halloweenie and this was not a Halloween party. It was a music party.