Return of the Fat Bastard - F%%#@$&K again!!!!.

October 28th 2016

Next Door Gord from when it used to snow around here. He's even shorter now!

     If you could envision the perfectly crappiest way to spend a Friday this would be it. Michelle with one L pointed out two spots on the ceiling a couple of days ago. One was about an inch in diameter and the other one smaller than that, about six inches apart. I was on it right away. Nobody wants water in the ceiling. Armed with a bucket of tools I cut out around the afflicted area and found the leaks. Two little pin holes beside the clamp they used to hold the cold water copper line that runs through half the house. The other half was replaced twenty years ago when the suite was built. The original stuff is older than me! Okay just by a few months. Our house was built in 1956. Wait a minute! So was I. I mean I was built in 1956 but wasn't finished until January of 1957. I can relate. Like this house, I on occasion have problems with my 60 year old pipes leaking! Any way they strapped the pipes with steel strapping and that never works well with copper pipe. I put a call in to Next Door Gord and when he came over I made the hole I had cut the width of the floor joist or is it the ceiling joist? I guess it depends on your relative position. When I had taken down enough ceiling to get a look at the full length of the pipe it was bone dry every where else. I said Whew! Next Door Gord said "You should replace it all, Sweetheart." he  calls me Sweetheart. I said " F#@K that! I'm not looking for things to do." Next Door Gord went next door and came back with a couple of clamps and a rubber sleeve. I put the sleeve on and clamped it down and voila, success! And all I have to fix  is a 16 x 16 hole in the ceiling. I felt like a Rock Star!

Our work

     Three hours later I was crushed by that rock. Michelle with one L came home from work. "There's a half dozen leaks in the ceiling now." she said. When I stuck my head back into the hole I could see several small drips. I wasn't going to start a job like that at 8:00 at night so I took some measurements and made a list and I will tackle it in the morning. When we put the patch on the pinhole leaks the pressure in the pipe was increased and some of the 60 year old pinhole leaks decided it was time to leak.
      It was all going to have to be replaced so the next morning I started taking down the ceiling where the pipes ran. Using a drywall saw and a utility knife I started taking down the ceiling the length of the room. Hard physical work. Not really my specialty. After a couple of hours of this I had an epiphany! I went and got my electric Jigsaw and cut through that drywall like a knife through butter. It also nicked the supply line and started squirting water out at a tremendous rate. I was pretty close to the shut off. You have never seen a Fat Bastard move so fast! It was only a matter of seconds and most of the water had sprayed onto my drop cloths. Now with no water in the entire house I had to get moving. Tamara had gone out with the baby and the lovely Lisa and Michelle with One L were up stairs drinking coffee while Next Door Gord and I were coming up with a plan to swap out the pipes. I replumbed the downstairs bathroom six years ago using Pex pipe and Sharkbite fittings so I was set on that. Using Next Door Gord's pipe cutters I cut out the cold water line and prepped it for the Pex. I try not to let Next Door Gord do too much of the work. He's as old as dirt and shrinking at a tremendous rate. He's 5' 4, he used to be 5' 6 he told me he really missed the extra height. He's here for his knowledge and to keep me amused with the corniest jokes ever. The man has never seen a problem he couldn't, hasn't dealt with. He's been helping me with my projects since the first day we moved in 16 years ago. I've learned over the years that if Next Door Gord says to do it this way you're better off to just do what he says. He's always right. I hate that! I'm always looking for a short cut. When I got back from Home Depot with the supplies Next Door Gord said. " We need to take the ceiling down to the end of the pipe to be safe. Sure enough the pipes there were not leaking but were covered with the green spots that signify potential pinholes.

After the hot line leaked

      The idiots who put the pipes in used soft copper so it was easy to cut. The soft copper will come back to haunt me an hour later. I had the new pipe in and it was time to pressure test it. I turned on the water just a little and listened as the pipes filled. Shit!! I could hear water running. I had forgotten that I had opened all the taps to drain the pipes so as I closed the downstairs taps I yelled up to the lovely Lisa and Michelle with one L to turn off the upstairs taps. So far so good! With Next Door Gord watching the pipe I turned the water on full. Yahoo! Five minutes went by and no leaks on the new pipe or fittings.
      Drip, drip, drip! The sound penetrated my brain like feed back at a Jimmi Hendrix concert. F%%#@$&K!!!! It was the hot water line. I had the supplies I needed because Next Door Gord said I might have to/should replace both lines while I had the ceiling down. This is where the soft copper reared it's overly pliable head. The hot water made the copper even softer so when I tried to cut it, it went out of round. Time for a break. The lovely Lisa made me some soup and covered in drywall dust and soaked with sweat I sat on the deck and ate my lunch while the pipes cooled down. After lunch I cut out as much of the soft copper as I could and ran the Pex with the help of Next Door Gord. It was time to test the connection. Our work was tighter than a Nuns sense of humour. That's when the T joint over the heating ducts blew! F%%#@$&K again!!!!.
      The lovely Lisa called a plumber, Next Door Gord went back next door and I curled up on the wet carpet sobbing hysterically, At this point, totally encrusted in drywall dust that mixed with copious amounts of sweat and water was starting to turn to plaster I had Michelle with one L move all her stuff out of her closet. I took apart the closet organizer and ripped out the ceiling in the closet so the plumber would have access to the part that was leaking.

The plumbers work

At $264 for 90 minutes  for the plumber I didn't want to be paying him for tearing down drywall. He had me take down a little more ceiling and then I left to him to his own devices. Using the supplies I had left over he did the repair and 45 minutes later we turned on the water and everything was tight. The lovely Lisa cut him a cheque for $285 and like the drips through the ceiling he was gone! I sprayed mold killer throughout the opening just in case. I'll leave it open for a day to make sure then I have to put the ceiling back. Every day is an adventure.
      I had to wash my hair three times to get the dust, dirt and I think something that was alive out of my hair. It looked like it was wiggling as it made it's way towards the drain. I tried not to think about it as I water picked my head on stun! It was 9:00 when we pulled up in front of Tentatsu Two. At Hastings and Gilmore.

Tentatsu Two

Japanese has become my new comfort food. We had our usual dinner of Tuna sashimi/ avocado Carpaccio (Salad) and Chicken Terryaki Dinner. They close at 10:00 and we were the last ones out. I really like the new location it's much roomier and they have Sportsnet on the TVs. We got home where the lovely Lisa started working on her Halloween costume and I crawled into bed stiff and sore from a day of work. I feel even worse now. I gotta get into Halloween mode. Here's a blast from the past.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYZFgqzS9G8
  
That's all I've got
Till next time
Peace out Y'all