Return of the Fat Bastard - G string and Pasties.

October 20th 2016

HMMMM I wonder what she means?

     While I'm sitting in the waiting area at Open Road Toyota waiting for the lovely Lisa to come and pick me up I started thinking about new cars. I have only ever owned one new car. A red Jeep YJ. I had a lot of fun with that car. I was still paying for it a year after I killed it.
      The preceding paragraph was at least my fifth attempt at writing a post. I have been sick for ten days. This might be the strangest cold I've ever had. You think it's gone and then bingo bango bongo its back. The first day I felt good was last Sunday. So I went to the open mic at the Fireside Pub in Sapperton at 8:30. I was up first and it started out well I was playing with a drummer and a bass player and Bill Taylor on lead guitar. By the third song I wasn't feeling very good. I packed up my guitar and I was home by 9:30. When I got home I took a night time antihistamine a big shot of Buckley's and sat on the couch feeling crappy and dopey at the same time until the lovely Lisa got up at midnight to go to work. I slept until 10:30 Monday morning. I took a daytime antihistamine another shot of Buckley's and I felt pretty good.
      I spent most of Monday doing laundry and housework. The lovely Lisa was home about 5:30 with dinner. She lasted about 45 minutes and then was back in bed with a 12:30 wake up call. With a full belly and a head full of antihistamine I headed over to the Heritage Grill to make some music. Again I was up first. Like I said before, I like going first. That's when the crowd is the biggest and sometimes are even listening. I did my 3 songs and felt pretty good. I hung out with some of the Ukeleleoids and had a cup of coffee and an attitude adjustment. Maybe too much of an adjustment! All of a sudden the open mic at the Great Bear pub seemed like a good idea. Steve Mathieson, he runs the open mic, was rehearsing with his band for a tribute show he does . Rod Stewart and Tom Petty. I haven't seen his show yet but I have heard him rehearse. He sounds just like Rod Stewart. I haven't heard him do Tom Petty. I played with his drummer and bass player and Bill Taylor on lead Guitar. That was the last fun I had until this Saturday night. I spent most of the rest of the week in bed. Like I wasn't feeling crappy enough, the Blue Jays were eliminated from the playoffs by a Cleveland team that was just better than we were.
      By Friday I was feeling pretty good. I still had a little bit of the sniffles and my throat was still scratchy. I have been staying away from Mama Lee's so as not to take out any of the old folks with this cold. Some of them are so fragile. I was there today for Mama Lees annual State of the Patient meeting with the heads of all the departments and Mama Lees Doctor, Dr Moseley. Today is Monday October 24th. I wrote the date so I could keep it straight in my head. Though the lovely Lisa says Im constantly putting things sideways. At any rate Mama Lee is doing as well as can be expected with the steady progression of the Parkinsons. Tomorrow its"s the Parkinsons Clinic at UBC for her annual checkup. A full day and Handi Dart hell!

Paella!!

      Okay Friday night was Abolita Marina's last night in Canada. Chef boy R Lisa was going to make Paella for her. This is no little thing the way Chef Boy R Lisa makes her Paella. I'm not going to talk about how much it costs because I always think it's too much money until I'm eating it. Then not so much! Bro Steve is back from his trip to Europe and he came by for dinner as well as the grandkids and Christian. Jen couldn't get away from work.

Bella, Christo and Abolita Marina

We had a great meal then looked at pictures of the family until it was time to go.
      So let's go to Saturday. I was feeling OK. Not great but OK. We had tickets to a Halloween Themed Burlesque Show at the Columbia Theatre in New Westminister. So of course we dressed up for the Theatre.

The lovely Lisa Fashionista

????????

Her friend Tracy from work is in the show. Burlesque is a strange mix of comedy, dance and of course nudity. Mr Nickel with the horny disposition was the MC

Mr Nickel

and Tracy's stage name was Racy Cake. The show was entertaining and with the 15 minute intermition lasted just under 90 minutes. If you go to a Burlesque looking to get horned up, bring a date! Burlesque isn't about how you look it's about how you feel about yourself. It's about releasing your inner feminist. Well that's what Mr Nickel said in quite a few more words but then every once in a while he would say "Hail Satan" and give a salute. So I don't know if I trust anything he says.

The lobby at the Columbia

The informed in the audience "Hail Satan'd" him back. I didn't. I was eating chicken wings. They were good. The lovely Lisa, resplendent in a 1980's fashion dress made me get the sauce on the side so as to not besmirch her gown. Then she didn't eat any of them. These were not models or dancers they were just regular women. One was as big as I am. One was older than I am. It was good fun. More esoteric than erotic!

The performers

The striptease part reminded me of the first strip club I was ever in. I was working at a furniture factory in Toronto and there was a little tavern across the street from the factory. They had strippers. We would go over at lunch and after work. Beers were a dime. The strippers were all larger, big boobed women who stripped down to the G string and Pasties. It was illegal to show nipples in Ontario in 1976. Now the whole country is being run by Boobs! We came through the doors to the joyous uproar of the Ratdogs just before midnight.
        I watched football most of the day with a little time between games to take the Ratdogs for a walk and do the work shop.

A girl and her bag of poop

Squatch in his natural environment

The first game was on when I got up at 9:00 from London and I watched/ missed the last game at 9:00 at the Fireside Pub. How did I watch/miss the final 6 minutes of the overtime tie between the Seahawks and the Cardinals you may ask? The open mic needed to be started according to the twat of a Bartender. I put my name up first so up I went. There are a lot of TV's in the room and I could see one from the stage. I just can't play the guitar, sing and watch the football game all at the same time. I didn't find out it was a tie until I got home and saw the highlites.


That's all I've got
Till next time
Peace out Y'all