Return of the Fat Bastard - 1 inch of Rat tail

September 27th and 28th 2016

Santa Squatch

      I seem to have fallen into a mid morning wake up pattern it was 10:30 when I rolled out of bed the last two days and only then because I had a pair of urine filled Ratdogs dancing on my chest! In my defense, I did stay up until 3 am when Chef Boy R Lisa got up for work. As is my perusual I let the Ratdogs out the back and made myself a cup of Instant Jo. Made my way to the living room and turned on the TV to CTV news. Once again there was no good news in the news today. All the Excited States stations, CNN, FOX,  MNBC all claiming their guy/gal won the debate. I don't know who won, but I know who lost. Anyone who watched that piece of juvenile crap ! Including me! I taped it and I lasted thirty five minutes before I switched to an episode of Elementary. Ultimately it looks like Death by CHI CHI for our American cousins.
      Second cup of Jo in hand I watered the plants on the deck and did my Rat patrol. One of the traps was missing and the other one was sprung! No Rat! The missing trap was pulled up tight to the deck box and was empty. Or was it. On closer inspection there was about one inch of Rat tail on the trap.

1 inch of Rat tail

 Okay, that's kind of gross. As I write this I am aware that there is a dead Rat in the trap that I put back in place. I wonder if it's the same Rat? I'll have to check it's tail.I think it will tell me a lot about how smart a Rat is. If some one lopped off the end of my tail on my way to dinner, I might find a different restaurant! I'm going to go get the Rat now.

Adios Ratmigo!

This guy has it's full tail. Perhaps "Stumpy" learned his lesson.
      I did nothing on Tuesday. Well not nothing I went and had a visit with Mama Lee and did a little shopping. I watched the Blue Jays game and then the Canada / Europe Hockey game while I waited for the lovely Lisa to get home. I had dinner half done when she texted me she was on the way home with Prime Rib, I like Prime Rib! I had already put the potatoes on and the corn on the knob was ready to go. I put the steaks I was going to BBQ back in the fridge, we'll have them tomorrow. When the lovely Lisa was home I whipped up a packaged gravy, just add water, while the lovely Lisa settled in after a fourteen hour day. We ate our dinner in front of the TV watching the newest episode of The Big Bang Theory. Then the lovely Lisa was in bed. It was after 8:00 and I had planned to go to Judge Begbies Open Mic in New Westminister. It's a very laid back venue that attracts a lot of singer / songwriters. I wouldn't get there until after nine and then might not get on. So I watched all three NCIS's. Chef Boy R Lisa's call time was pushed by an hour so I went to bed about 1 am.
      I am going to stop writing now. It's noon Wednesday and I have some errands to run for Chef Boy R Lisa. To quote Arnie "I'll be back!"
      "I am Back" I did a 3 hour loop through New West and Burnaby. It started at the Caribbean Market on 12th St. I was on a mission for Hot Sauce, more exactly Matouk's Calypso Sauce. Through the front doors into a tidy little store, bright and airy with several well stocked shelves including the largest selection of Matouk's I've ever seen.

An amazing selection of hot sauces at Caribbean Market 

I texted, then phoned Chef Boy R Lisa to see how much she wanted. "Load up" she said. I took one large and two table size Calypso and one each of two other Matouk's hot sauces. At the register the salesgirl said with a Jamaican accent that made me think of my teenage years. "You missed one a dem" "Pardon me?" " Der be five Matouk's, you got just four. Dat one you don't got is the hottest. It will take the fur off a cat!" "Alright, I'm not using it!" If you like the Jamaican flavours this is the place to go.
      It was a straight line down 12th until it turns into Kingsway and the Great Canadian Wholesale club is at Royal Oak. Six jugs of degreaser and two cutting boards, in and out in ten minutes. Back towards New West and Edmonds Avenue to Sherret Plumbing supply for new bolts for the old new toilet seat. When Mama Lee first lived with us we remodeled the bathroom. The new toilet seat was auto soft close. Really, state of the art. It broke two days in so I took it back. They gave me another seat and didn't want the old one back. So in the spirit of Scotsmen and hoarders I fixed the old seat and put the new one in the attic. Now the lovely Lisa has decided we need to put the new one on even though the old one works perfectly. So the new one is actually ten years old. I tried to change it out on Saturday but it has a different kind of bolts. The kind that we have somehow lost. The kind they don't make anymore. Instead they sold me an adapter kit.
      I hadn't eaten yet today and it is Whopper Wednesday. That wasn't the plan but when I drove by the one in New West the car went all Christine on me and next thing I knew, I was getting Whoppered!

Whopper Wednesday

Hey, it's not like I'm living on the things. They have good fries too.
      I was home in time to fold the laundry and water the plants before the Blue Jays game started at 4:00
      I checked the mail and I had an envelope from UBCP with a fan letter from a guy named Vizenz Brandle who lives in Rotkruez, Switzerland. In his letter he said that's near Zug???? That helps. He sent me two pictures of myself he wants me to sign and a self addressed postage paid envelope.  I mention it because that's only the second time I've ever gotten a fan letter. Death threats and cease and desist orders yeah, but fan mail? But he took the time to photo copy a couple of pictures of me so I'll sign and send it to him and thank him for his interest in my career

As Dunain in Legend of Earthsea

As Santa in Jingle all the way 2

      The Blue Jays are up 2 - 0 in the 5th inning and all is good with the world. Michelle with one L just sent me a message she will be home 8 am Friday morning. Either me or the lovely Lisa will be there to pick her up. Twenty five days on Maui. I hope it snows! That's just jealousy talking. A sure sign we need a vacation! Now Bro Steve is in Europe for three weeks and all I have to be excited about is Sunday Shopping at Stuporstore.
      I got a Message from my friend Dirk that the Rocky Point Pub's last Open Mic will be this Sunday. It was the first Open Mic I had ever done as a musician. I've had the opportunity to play my original music as well as the chance to play with some amazing musicians. It's also five minutes from my house. I want to thank Dirk, Devin, Chris, Bill and Richard, that's the Band, for letting me play with them. It was always a pleasure to be on stage with them and they made me a better musician. So if you want to check out some live music played by people who love to do it come out Sunday at 4:00. Last chance to dance at the Rocky Point Pub open Mic in Port Moody.
      Our friend Jaqueline is having a Birthday Do at a Restaurant in New West, The Java Jazz Cafe. But the lovely Lisa didn't get home until 8:30 and was totally bagged. I was going to go by myself and actually drove half way there before I turned around and went home. I made a nice dinner for the lovely Lisa and I then we watched some TV while one of us slept on the couch. At 10:00 the lovely Lisa woke up and went to bed. I watched the cops shake down some teenagers making out in the parking lot across the street.

Step out of the car with your pants on!

Then I watched Designated Survivor. I'm a big Keifer Sutherland fan. This is the second episode and I'm already hooked.


That's all I've got
Till next time
Peace out Y'all