Return of the Fat Bastard - " It's the noise my little brother made when the bunkbeds broke!"

September 23rd 2016

      My day started at 7:30 in case I had to drive Brother Peter and the lovely Lisa to Maple Ridge for Peters dental surgery at the hospital. When I got out of bed the lovely Lisa was already up. She went to bed mid afternoon with a couple of painkillers and a bowl of soup. This morning, she was like brand new. It's gotta be the soup! The lovely Lisa called Brother Peter to make sure he was up and ready for 8:30. When the lovely Lisa was out the door I started working on my monologue. I don't need to memorize it verbatim. They don't want to see if I can memorise the words. They want to see if I can bring the words I'm using to life. I had the gist of it by the time I got into the car for the trip into town.

      Radio off, running lines in my head, then out loud. Over and over, wash, rinse, repeat. By the time I pull up I'm on auto pilot. I find parking half a block away. That's like winning the lottery in this neighbourhood! I took at as a good sign. It started to rain as I walked into the building for my audition thirty minutes early. I filled in the paperwork, Put a Head Shot and resume on the empty desk and took a seat with all the other old guy's. I was early but some people were late so I jumped the queue and was in before noon. I thought it was to camera but the producer and director and a couple of others were there. It's a monologue. And it's being done to a camera, in the story and in the room. They introduced themselves but I wasn't really listening. "Squatch?" the director asked " It's the noise my little brother made when the bunkbeds broke!" I said . They laughed out loud and that put me into performance mode. A couple more one liners and I was on my mark and ready to be! I was very happy with what I did. Now I have no control of what happens.

A long time ago with my sister Wendy

      I stopped by Mama Lee's on the way home just to see how she was doing. She's been in a good mood lately. She keeps telling me  "something good is going to happen" "Every day Mama Lee, good things happen every day" I helped her into a sweater then pushed her out to the main hall for music therapy. I came home and had some lunch and started writing this blog. Oh yeah, I'm also binge watching Blue Bloods. Always liked Tom Selleck.

      I played guitar and drank iced tea until my friend Duffy came over to watch some of the Jays game after he finished work. He works selling cars at the KIA dealership on United Boulevard near the Hard Rock Casino. So if your looking for a KIA or a quality used vehicle, Duffy will take care of you or he'll eat a bug! Every one needs a friend like Duffy. He can find the bright side of a bag of dog poo burning on your doorstep. Which is how I described the way the Whitecaps have been playing. "Yeah, but they've had lots of chances" He said. "Duffy, they haven't moved the net in two hundred years and we shoot three yards wide from the front of the net!" We dissected the Lions, Duffy likes the team and thinks Wally is a good coach. I call him Wally Bonehead and think that they win in spite of him! As for the Blue Jays we are in complete agreement. Playoffs here we come.
      The lovely Lisa got home and kicked back for an hour. She had spent seven hours at the hospital with Brother Peter while he was getting his dental surgery done. She left the hospital and did some shopping for Peter. While Duffy and I watched the game the lovely Lisa was on the phone with Bro Steve making arrangements for dinner. We were meeting at Tentatsu at 6:00. At 5:30 I tossed Duffy to the curb with the Jays up 3-0. Ten minutes later we were on our way. We flew into town until we got to Willingdon then the Highway became a parking lot. We got off at the next exit and Lisa Andretti maneuvered us through the side streets like a Karachi cab driver! We got there just after 6:00 and Bro Steve had already ordered our salad for us. Tuna Sashimi and avocado carpachio... The best salad I have ever had in an Asian restaurant. Bro Steve is headed off to Europe for a month and he leaves Monday. We wanted to get together before he goes, to reminisce about the month we spent together in Central Europe. By the time we were finished dinner I was jealous to the max. I need a vacation! My stupid heart crap kept us home this year for the first time in fifteen years.
      I have another audition on Monday, three days with the words...Luxury, wow.


That's all I've got
Till next time
Peace out Y'all