Return of the Fat Bastard - Who you callin Turkey?

September 17th 2016

      I was up early for a Saturday. It was pouring down rain. I went back to bed and snuggled with the lovely Lisa and two Ratdogs for another hour. There's something about a hot cup of coffee a warm robe and the sound of rain scaring the crap out of a Ratdog. I wouldn't let her on my lap so she sat on my feet shaking like one of those Revitalise that Guy La Fleur sells on TV. It wasn't raining hard and I keep thinking that she'll get used to it. Probably never going to happen. As soon as the lovely Lisa was on the couch, Nutmeg was on her like scales on an armadillo!
      The lovely Lisa was up and dressed by 9:00 because the first 500 customers at the new Save On store got a free cake. The lovely Lisa likes cake. Me too. Not only did she get a free cake but it's our friend Duffy's birthday on Monday and we are having a poker game tonight. Happy Birthday Duffy!
      After the lovely Lisa got home with the free cake and three bags of fresh baked buns and got to work on poker snacks. I left. I have been out of ink for my printer for about a week now. I was off to Wallyworld for printer ink. I stopped in to see Mama Lee. She wants me to make an appointment for her to get her nails done. I'm due for a pedicure so I'll book us appointments at the same time. Mama Lee will only let Ami do her nails. One time I took Mama Lee for her appointment and Ami had to go home early because she was ill, Mama Lee wouldn't let anyone else do her nails so we left.
      We called Steve and the lovely Lisa on Mama Lee's phone. She has a hard time using it so whenever I'm there I make a few calls for her. Steve was coming to our house later and was going to visit Mama Lee on his way to the poker game. I swung by Cheap Thrills for a few things that the lovely Lisa had texted me she needed.
      If you ever get invited to one of the lovely Lisa's poker games you have to do it. The food alone is worth the price. It started off she was going to cook a turkey.

Then she was concerned that the turkey might not be enough so she cooked up a dozen big hot Italian sausage. Surely that would be enough of a snack for ten people! But Wait! Like those late night commercials for Patty Stackers and cell phone holders....There's more! Lets just boil up a corned beef too.

Corned beef

That's all for the break after the first game. To hold us until then we have a giant cheese plate featuring hard and soft cheeses from around the world. Okay, around Costco. Bowls of peanuts, party mix and tortilla chips for the homemade salsa Chef Boy R Lisa whipped up. No wonder I weigh 300 lbs! Okay 285 but still!

Pre snack snacks

 While Chef Boy R Lisa was cooking for the hordes I was setting up the poker table. I had it all set up by 5:00. Chips counted, chairs in place and and the TV on sports.

Shut up and deal

      We try to do a poker game every six weeks or so. It's a friendly game. We play Texas Hold Em Tournaments. $10 buy in and pay the top three. We had nine players tonight. G McT was not feeling well and begged off late. I hope he's feeling better soon. He was missed. Okay his $10 was missed. 6:30 and the circus rolled into town. Bro Steve followed by Duffy, Jen, Christian and the Grandkids They stormed through the front door like a Hurricane onto a Florida beach! Man, I'm really reaching for metaphors today. The decibel level in the house was dramatically increased. We had the Canada/Czech hockey game, good. And the Blue Jays/Angels baseball game, bad, alternating on the TV muted while we played music. Ralph, Ryland and Ricky showed up on time and we started the first tourney with nine players.

Poker Players

I sucked. I was way up then the poker Gods decided I was not worthy of their graces. Three hands later I was on the couch! Half an hour later the game was over. It takes about two hours to play. Then the buffet was open. Half an hour of foraging and back at the table for tourney two. First though we had a free cake and Duffy's Birthday on the horizon so we did the birthday thing the dogs howled, I played the harmonica and everyone sang in a different key....it was Perfect! Then they took Duffy's money to go along with mine. We were two people short. Jen worked until 6:00 am last night and was bagged. They packed up the Grandkids and we played with seven. I still stunk. I was out in ten minutes. I had good hands just not good enough. We were done by 11:30. Duffy helped me stow the table back out on the deck and the lovely Lisa and I cleaned up the kitchen. The lovely Lisa made up our thirty cup coffee urn and I drank way too much coffee. I went to bed at 4:00 am still buzzing. I should have been writing this blog but I was so wired I couldn't focus. I watched four episodes of Elementary instead. Idiot!!

That's all I've got
Till next time
Peace out Y'all