September 4th 2016
All the home remedies in the world weren't going to help my arse! Well at least not enough to prevent it from morphing into something worse. Since Friday night I had soaked in bathtubs filled with Table salt, because it is iodized, so I was told by Michelle with one L. Epsom salts because that's the Scots way was the advice of Willie Curley, I sat in many a tub of Epsom salts as a child and Epsom Salts and Hydrogen Peroxide recommended by Angie and Larry who live in the boonies and are in to non pharma cures. Six soaks since Friday night. Make the water as hot as you can stand and it will draw out the infection I was told by everyone.
Ten minutes in the tub and all my underwater parts came out of the tub looking like a half cooked lobster. Squatch Lobster if you will. Except my man parts which resembled a boiled shrimp in an Afro wig! I'm getting ahead of myself. I haven't slept for more than four hours for the last two nights and strangely it wasn't the pain that was keeping me awake it was the smell. Okay it was the pain! Then the smell made it hard to get back to sleep. It's taking a long time to write this because I can only sit for a few minutes and when I tried to use my phone I spent more time correcting the speech to text than I did speeching to text! I spent the morning in bed until the lovely Lisa informed me that Angie and Larry were stopping by to collect their fan left behind at Squatchapalisa XIV last month. Too bad really. It was a way cool fan that had a built in mister and a short hose that could draw water from any container and it was battery operated!
The lovely Lisa is an old school kind of Gal. If there is one thing you can count on if you're sick, the lovely Lisa will make soup. Gallons of soup! We have never eaten anything with bones that doesn't go into the stock pot with herbs and veggies. There are two plastic milk cartons in the bottom of our freezer and in these cartons stacked like LP's in the 70's are stocks made of Seafood, turkey, chicken, ham, beef, and lamb. That's the secret to making good soup! Start with a good rich stock. She made split pea and ham soup. Heavy on the ham! I never liked pea soup growing up. Till I
married the lovely Lisa I thought soup came out of a can!
All of a sudden we were inundated with visitors. GMcT and his friend Sherry stopped by for a visit just as we were sitting down for soup. They had just come from Sunday breakfast so they weren't hungry. No one should ever eat before they come to our house. We had nice bowl of soup and a visit then I soaked my arse, showered and the lovely Lisa took me to the emergency.
I'm like royalty at Royal Columbian. They have all my records and with my history of heart issues I move to the front of the line. The front of the line is only a four hour wait. I sat out in the holding area for about two hours before they put me in a bed. I slipped into the lovely robe provided free of charge and waited for the Doctor, and waited, and waited. When the Doctor arrived he went right at it. I lay on my side and he had me tuck my knees up so he could get a good look at it. " It's turned into cellulitis Mr Ward" he said. "I'm going to get the ultra sound machine and make sure there are no hidden pockets of disease."
When he came back he said to me, after I had assumed the position " I'll try to be gentle!" Not what you want to hear from a man in the general proximity of your arse! "Everything looks good back here" he said. Really? I thought. Maybe it does look good. How would I know? I can't see it from here! I got dressed and they moved me to a chair. OUCH for intervenous antibiotics. I have to go to the hospital every day for the next few days for the treatment as well as taking oral antibiotics as well. I'm a little concerned about the amount of time I am on antibiotics. Now over 60 days this year. Still better than losing a leg.
Once we were home I had another epsom salt bath, the Doctor said to keep them up, and now had to get ready for the Monkee's concert at the PNE.
My wound was still draining and of course the smell was also an issue. The lovely Lisa and the nurse at the emergency room came up with an idea panty liners! Today was definitely a day of firsts. A strange man poking around my butt and wearing a panty liner. What if I start to like that kind of stuff?!
Hey Hey their the Monkee's, well two of them anyway. One's dead and the other is not traveling any more. Mickey Dolenz and Peter Tork are still monkeeing around. We were there in plenty of time until the lovely Lisa's parking prayer went unheard by Mother Mary. In denial the lovely Lisa circled several blocks for many minutes until 15 minutes before the show she finally caved and we paid twenty bucks to park on the far side of the horse track. We could have used a horse to get to the show! Not that I could have sat a horse! My panty liner might bunch up!
It was a good show. Lots of clips from the show on the big screens and an excellent back up band. I was done twenty minutes before the end of the show but stuck it out. I was nearly crippled by the time we made it home. I had a soak and a bite and was done. In bed by 1:00 I was up before 6:00. I have been writing in ten minute spurts. That's all my butt can take.
That's all I've got
Till next time
Peace out Y'all
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