January 10th - 15th 2016
Okay, enough is enough! The mild amusement I have shown about the Saskatchaweenian winter we are experiencing out here on the Left Coast has long ago worn off! I haven't seen the plus side of zero for what seems like a month. Do you now why it seems like a month? Because it's been thirty five days since December 5th when the first snow fell! O M G I shouldn't have done the math! Thirty five days ago I did a whimsical little video about shovelling snow. The progression from whimsical to reality kicked in about the tenth time I was out shovelling snow. The first couple of times. I was out there while the snow was still falling. By the third or fourth dump I was out there when I could hear the lovely Lisa out shovelling the drive way so she could get her car out. Guilt, the great motivator.
I wrote that five days ago. It's now become my first Return of the Fat Bastard blog post of my sixty first year in existence. I truly didn't think I would make it this far, and I certainly have done my best to not make it this far. I have abused and mangled my body and my brain for more than forty years. I often think about those days when there was no such thing as too much of anything. Drink, Drugs and Girls. Once I discovered them, around ninth grade, it was the beginning of the end, or the end of the beginning. Depending on perspective. Up until then I was a Jock! I've always said that no generation has ever asked their body to do so much. Particularly the filtration system. No surprise a lot of my friends are dealing with these kinds of issues.Thank God there was no Crack or Meth or Fentanyl when I was running out of control. 1972 in Toronto was a wild time. It was a ten minute walk to Yonge Street from our house and I practically lived down there. They had just dropped the legal age to 18 from 21. I was fifteen when it happened. I was also 6'3" and 240 pounds. I was never asked for ID and started working as a Bouncer at the Yonge Street Tavern before I was 16. Needless to say that did not slow down my destructive behaviour. I wonder why I felt it was necessary to say "needless to say" then go ahead and say it anyway. I won't go into details because they are irrelevant. Let's just say I had a number of issues. I destroyed my first marriage, lost contact with my Daughter Jennifer and reality, hurt a lot of people and had a cocaine induced stroke at 30.
I was getting out of a cab at a 7-11 to buy a pack of smokes and woke up in the hospital having had a cocaine related stroke. Those few days in the hospital were a warning shot over my bow. I took it to heart. I got clean and gave up the Dummy Dust. Stayed with Stu and Karen in Campbell River until I got my head on straight. Then I moved to Victoria when Stu Scott asked me to run the Yuk Yuk's that he was opening. Six months later I was on the road working as a standup. In 1987 I met my Agent Nancy after a show at the Mr Sport Hotel. "Have you ever thought about acting? she asked me "All the time" I lied. Or was I "acting?"! I got the very first thing I auditioned for, a dancing couch for a BC Lottery commercial, and when the cheque came in I thought. I can do this! Nancy and her coworker Anna Banana are still my Agents and friends. They were there for Squatchapalooza 60 and seeing them was one of the things that made the night so special. The rest is history. If you want to see that history you'll have to google me. I've had a 30 years and counting career. I met the lovely Lisa while working, I have watched my Daughter Jennifer become a successful Production Manager in the film business and give us two beautiful Grandkids. I am surrounded by beautiful, creative, inspiring people who make my life so much better. So many of them were at Squatchapalooza 60. I'm all off track now, walking down memory lane. Somehow my thoughts end up on the page. Do you know why? ...... I have no discipline! Too much coffee and multi tasking. Between sentences I'm sweeping the floors. It helps me ruminate! I mean mentally. Now I can't remember what I was talking about so I'll talk about something else.
Perhaps we'll go back to the weather. It's the coldest winter I have ever seen in my 30 years in Vancouver! However my house is quite warm and when I throw in the occasional episode of "man"opause! I'm a little too warm. So the cold is not really a problem for me. For Chef Boy R Lisa, a problem. She does the baking for the show. She does all the deserts. On the set of Once Upon a Time the Teamsters call her the Queen of Tarts. They also call her Honey, Toots and Babe! Hey! They're Teamsters. Hard to proof dough or use chocolate when it's this cold. It hasn't snowed for a few weeks now no shoveling but no melt either. Just enough in the middle of the day so it turns to ice as soon as the sun sets. There has been no salt available for weeks. Tamara picked up a bag some where. As soon as it's on the shelf it's gone.
There are good things about the weather. The kids love it. Most years they get a couple of days maybe a week of sliding. The Grandkids and Christian go sliding most days after school. We live on a mountain. No shortage of hills or green spaces. They are skating on Como Lake. For weeks now. Playing hockey, figure skating or just skating around. I haven't seen that since I was kid. They used to flood the track at Riverdale Park in Toronto and hundreds of people would use it. It also had the best toboggan hill in the city. From Broadview Ave down to the huge field where the running track/Ice rink was down by the Don River.
The lovely Lisa and I went for a walk on the lake. Not something that happens in Coquitlam very often. The lovely Lisa was resplendent and infinitely smarter in her snow boots and Stay Puffed Down Filled Jacket.
I on the other hand was in worn out Sneakers and a Windbreaker.
We didn't know we were going to go out on the lake. We were visiting Mama Lee and we drive right by the lake. Someone was leaving so Lisa Andretti whipped into the parking lot and into the recently vacated parking spot as the cars pulled in behind us with no where to go. We spent about twenty minutes on the lake. The Sun was shining, everyone was smiling.
Little kids to adults with hockey sticks in their hands. Dads showing off for their kids and kids looking up to their fathers with joy on their faces.
Teenagers playing shinny on a rink twice the size of any one else and girls in white skates turning pirouettes. It's been a long time since I've seen that. It really made me feel like Canada. Do you know what I mean? Canada as a verb. Every race was represented, every age group, every gender all drawn together, all bonded by the Ice on a lake. It just felt like Canada.
I went out to play Music a couple of times. The Heritage Grill on Monday and Magnetiq on Thursday. The last year has seen me spending more time working on my music and having venues where you can perform original music is amazing. My song When Santa's in Vancouver was recorded and played on the Radio here in Vancouver and I have met some amazing talented musicians who have taught me so much just by letting me play with them. To each and every one that I have gotten on a stage with....Thank You.
Squatchapalooza 60! WOW!! An absolutely fabulous Birthday. It started, not too early, with my annual FREE Denny's Papa Squatch Family breakfast. As usual the Grandkids gave me their hand made Birthday cards. We are not quiet people. We laugh a lot. We talk a lot, some of us with a Spanish accent that is sometimes hard to understand. This is what happens you say "Pardon Me" to someone, anyone, they think you didn't hear them so they say it louder. Then I'm bellowing my Restarante Espanol down to the other end of the table. Three different conversations going at the same time. God I love my family!
Afterwards we made our way home in time to watch the Seahawks go down to Atlanta in the playoffs. Hung up the Jersey until next year and got over it. The Dems in the US should do the same! Then go Washington and represent their constituents and their point of view. The peaceful transition of power is a hallmark of US Democracy! These politicians should go back to school and take a Civics class. It just seems like sour grapes and is certainly not making any new friends. Uphold the traditions. Attend the Inauguration, then work your ass off to convince the American people in the middle of the country to vote for you in four years and toss the big Orange Haired Dufus out on his ass. Till then SHUT UP PLEASE! Rant over.
I was supposed to meet my friend Bill Taylor at the Heritage Grill he was kind enough to not only let us use his PA but he set it up and played sound man as well. His guitar was set up wireless so he could move around while still playing with the band. I got there five minutes late and he had already loaded in. We took our time setting up and doing sound checks. Then just before 7 people started to arrive. People I haven't seen for years and people that I see all the time started to come in. My jaw just about hit the floor when I looked up and Daryl and Meaghan walked through the door. They came down from Campbell River and it really made my night. Theresa came over from Nanaimo and Not only did Dr Dan make it down from Prince George he dragged the lovely Lisa up on stage for a spirited rendition of Sympathy for the Devil with Bro Steve, me and everyone else who could fit on stage or near a microphone. The Scots Mob from the Ridgeway Legion led by Willy and Annie were there in numbers and of course the fruit of my looms. Jen, Christian, doing his best Fernando Lamas, and the Grandkids,
The Grill is a little too bar like for the kids even though it's a restaurant. They left right after the cake which is still a couple of hours after their bedtime.
The music started early and was endless. Bro Steve and Bill Taylor, Mark and Lea always put on a good set. The Ukelelians, Linda, Danielle and Sue. Pam, David and Basil all took turns blowing away the crowd with their sets. I don't want to turn this into a guest list I just want all the performers, all the people who came out to watch and celebrate with me that from the bottom of my recently reconstructed heart, you all mean so very much to me.The amazing thing about my heart surgery was how they made it bigger! I find myself with love to spare and room for all of you in it.
The lovely Lisa was a shimmering Goddess in a dress that turned heads all night long. I wore a shirt that looked like prison issue! Big Bill Frew wore black! We rocked the joint until nearly 1 am. That's late for us old guys! I stay up later than that most nights but I'm at home in my underwear! It took about 45 minutes to pack up all the gear. Big Bill Frew was feeling bad because he had to go catch the last train and couldn't stay to help pack up. Which is a drag because he's a strapping big lad. That's transit in Vancouver. Let's shut down the unmanned automated Skytrain an hour before the bars close. That will get people out of their cars! He was feeling bad about it but losing the muscle was still better than driving him home.
Sunday shop at Stuporstore with the lovely Lisa a visit with Mama Lee and football on TV. Chef Boy R Lisa is up at 1:15 so I tried to stay up but crawled quietly into bed about 12:30 after snoozing in my chair until I spilt my tea into my lap. I finished this post when I got up this morning. I had a lot to say and probably always will. I have a whack of pictures. Possibly in no specific order. I was so busy Birthdaying and playing and socialising I didn't take hardly any Pictures. Willliam Taylor, William Frew, Lea Sheldon and Caroline Glen all did and posted lots of them. They are up on their Facebook page if you want to see pictures from the Squatchapalooza 60.
That's all I've got
Till next Time
Peace Out Y'all
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