Return of the fat Bastard - The Poop Fairy hovers over your head and hits you with her Shit stick!

January 23rd 2017

Prepping for my Colonoscopy

      I sit down in front of the keyboard this morning knowing full well I might not be able to sit comfortably after my Anal Probing in two days. I start the bowl cleansing process tonight at bedtime. This is not my first Colonoscopy. I have however managed to block it out. I didn't even remember I had it done until the Doctor reminded me. Here's the thing. I clearly remembered the cleansing process, not fun. It's like the Poop Fairy hovers over your head and hits you with her Shit stick every time you try to get up! On the upside I knocked off ten pounds in two days last time. The actual procedure is still a mystery to me. Apparently I went out like a light. I woke up in recovery with a red rose and ten bucks on the night stand! Okay I made that part up. I added the rose to make it seem more romantic. I kept the ten bucks! I seem to have gotten used to the pain in my back or it may just be the power of denial. It's still there but the closer we get to my Anal Probing the better I feel. Maybe it fixed itself and this is an unnecessary procedure. I've been keeping my mind occupied by watching football drinking copious amounts of Jo.
      Yesterday I went to Sharon's Birthday Gathering down at Woody's Pub. Beer and appies. I'm on the no alcohol for five days before the probing program. Not a big deal really I'm not much of a drinker anyway. At Squatchapalooza 60 I had half a dozen beers which I took one drink out of each, put it down and flitted off like the social butterfly that I am! Chicken Wings, Poutine, Calamari and Artichoke Dip. I ate a lot of Chicken Wings drank about five more cups of coffee. I sat at the end of a long table so I could see both the Canucks game and the New England Trouncing of the Steelers. Canucks lose another game with less than two minutes left. Coaching? That's it. We missed a good party at Jaqueline's Friday night. Gramma Lisa and Bella have been going Skiing up at Cypress every Friday after school. Bella is getting pretty good. Off the bunny hill and skiing mid mountain already.

Gramma Lisa and the sunset on Cypress

Bella stops for a snow cone Au Natural

They were joined by Bro Steve last time. I met Gramma Lisa and Bella at Tentatsu Too while Bro Steve went to the party. It was after 10:00 when we dropped off Bella. Too late for the party and the lovely Lisa was bagged. Turned out the party went till the wee hours and sorry we missed it.
       Okay, I'm going to go out and do some pruning of the fruit trees.
   
     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiKDTpDZXuc

That done I had my last meal about 7:00. At 10:00 I took the first two laxative pills and got ready for bed. Tomorrow I start with the nuclear powered colon cleanser so I will be incommunicado for several hours as I test drive the porcelain Porsche.I may catch up on my reading or perhaps entertain you all from my throne. Right now the first of the laxatives seems to be working. Excuse me. WOW. That was exciting! I better stop and say goodnight. I`m on the clear liquids only portion of my adventure for the next thirty six hours. Do I need to wear a diaper to bed, Depends! I kill me


That`s all I`ve got
Till next time
Peace Out Y`all