Return of the Fat Bastard - Can a girl be a Dick?

January 6th 2016

      Monday night at the Heritage Grill open mic. It may be as good an open mic as I have ever been a part of. Some of that is the fact that I've been going there for a couple of years now. I know all the players and everyone is always willing to get up and play with me. Though Greg Gorrie, who runs the open mic, always asks me if I want to play with a band or would I prefer to play with myself? I tell him "I'm married and the reason I got married was so I could stop playing with myself!" Then I went up and played with myself. Well almost myself. Gerry Sax is back from Phoenix for the holidays and I had sent him a mp3 of Paris and he had been working on the Sax line. Big fun and I wrote about this in my last posting. I could erase this with the touch of a button but like they say "The pen writes and moves on!" Also I think I have a little Sometimers going on. It seems like some times I don't know what the hell I'm doing! I find myself turning in circles half a dozen times each day. I don't so much multi task as I start something, go to the bathroom and then come back and start something else. Is it the beginning of dementia or a continuation of my long history of procrastination!
      Tuesday morning found Dick the hummer sitting on the Christmas lights strung near the feeders and pissed right off. Both feeders were a block of ice. I brought them in and put them in the microwave. When I hung them back up Dick was on it like a ugly on a Monkey. Dick is large for a Hummer which probably means he's a girl. Can a girl be a Dick?

Dick Or No Dick?

These little birds totally have my attention. I could watch them all day. Which is pretty much what I've been doing lately. I mean I've been busy doing fun stuff while putting all the real stuff out of my mind. Chef boy R Lisa was up and out the door at 1:00 and Michelle with One L is in Hawaii for two weeks so I was there by myself. I worked on a new song that I wrote for my 60th birthday next week. I took a call from the colonoscopy people about my upcoming anal probing. They were calling to see if I could take a phone call next Monday about my upcoming anal probing. "I can hardly wait!" did not amuse the woman on the other end of the line. I watched a little Junior Hockey. All the games I've seen this tournament have been excellent.
      The whole health thing is a contentious issue around the house. The lovely Lisa would prefer that I keep it out of my narrative and deal with it discretely. I don't know that I can do that. I'm not writing about this because I'm looking for sympathy. It cathartic for me. If I kept it all inside I would explode. Besides 97% of people who have negative results in the poop test have no serious issues. The kidney and gall bladder thing are ongoing and they're going to go in and take a look when I have my weenieoscopy on the 20th. It is what it is. I'm doing everything they tell me to. Whatever is going on I know in my heart I earned it! It's not by accident that it's my body's filtration system that's breaking down! I've asked it to do an awful lot. They can keep putting me back together peace by piece until my Robot body is ready! I want one that plays guitar better than I do.
      As usual I'm all over the place with this post. Tuesday night after the lovely Lisa went to bed I went over to Judge Begbies in New West for open mic. It's a smaller venue and lots of original music being played. Gerry Sax was there and played with me. It wasn't busy so we went through twice six original songs four of which Gerry didn't know. A testament to his talent.
      The Anal Probers called back on Wednesday to ask if they could call me on Thursday. Evidently they had a few cancellations. Probably some guy saying "You want to stick what up my ass? I think I'll have a V8!" It only moved up the phone call. I still get probed on the 25th in Langley. And I have to pay a toll to do it!
      I have to give the Colostomy people credit. They said they where going to call at 11:00 and they were right on time. The call lasted almost half an hour. Nosy bastards! The woman on the phone tells me that they have come a long way since I had one done a dozen years ago. I explained that my ass has been "exit only" since my last Alien Anal Probe. I asked what flavour the lube was. These Cancer people have no sense of humour.
      The lovely Lisa, Bro Steve and I went to Taqueria Tropical for dinner before the Open Mic at Magnetiq in New West. Taqueria Tropical is our favourite Mexican Joint it's on 6th St. and is as close to authentic Mexican as I have forund in Vancouver. The enchiladas are fantastic! Covered in Salsa Verde and served with beans and rice for $11. All their dishes are made with slow roasted shredded meat not hamburger. Senora Bonita Lisa had beef, I had chicken they come four to the order so we swapped out a couple. Bro Steve had Tacos. We finished up just as the Canada / US game went into overtime so we went into Rivers Reach and watched the overtime. It was a great game. Not a shoot out fan but that's the rule. Great effort by both teams.
      Because we stayed until the end of the game I didn't get down to Magnetiq until there were ten people ahead of me. It was all good.

Linda Ukelelian and the Lovely Lisa WooWoo girls

With Gerry Sax and Richard 

The lovely Lisa was there, Bro Steve, Pam, The Ukelelians and
a couple of dozen talented musicians who came out for the first session of the New Year. The lovely Lisa was on stage singings the Woo Woo's to Sympathy for the Devil with Bro Steve. First time for the lovely Lisa. The music was really good last night with the stage full and the atmosphere great. If you're sitting around on a Thursday night it's well worth your time.


That's all I've got
Till next time
Peace out Y'all