Return of the Fat Bastard - My brother Garry, life Long Maple Loafer

November 12th 2016

      On Tuesday the political landscape of our southern neighbours in the excited states changed dramatically. Then the strangest thing happened Wednesday morning. The sun came up, the world didn't end and I still had a kidney stone inconveniencing my very existence! A fact apparently lost on the hordes of Democrats who don't like the outcome of the election and choose to use their disappointment as an excuse to loot and burn and vandalise. Hillary blames the FBI director not the fact that she's a proven liar who sold her position as Secretary of state. There is one thing for sure. The Yankee Doodles wanted change. They got it. Now, death by CHI CHI!!
      I can't even remember the last time I posted a blog. So if I repeat myself remember I'm an old Hippy with no job and no agenda. I could also just push a button and read what I wrote last time "but that wouldn't be fair cause my head isn't there." (Valdy) It's Saturday night while I'm writing this and I still have a kidney stone causing me great discomfort. Mostly it just feels like a thumb being pressed into my lower back accented by spasms of excruciating pain that nearly buckle my knees. Alas at Casa Lisa the show must go on! Since I took out the carpet and ionized the place, Michelle with one L is back. She is no longer reacting to the environment and is camped out in our spare room surrounded by piles of her belongings. I need to get the Green Room finished. Even though it's not green anymore it will always be the Green Room to me. Michele with one L is getting impatient. Wah, Wah, Wha! I'm going as fast as I can!
      At 9:15 Friday morning I picked up GMcT's Grandson Anthony at the Skytrain at Lougheed Mall. He's a third year apprentice plumber and we were having him do some work under the kitchen sink. As the saga continues we find our Hero, me, refusing to crawl under the sink to change out the faucet that is leaking. It's not that I don't know how to do it and I have done it before but I'm too big to be crawling under sinks, especially with a kidney stone trying to escape the friendly confines of my kidney!

Anthony on the other hand fits nicely.

Anthony is a good kid and and it turns out he does good work. I had to cut out a part of the ceiling that I had already taped so he had access to the supply lines to our kitchen sink. I had already replaced all the rest of the supply line and I could envision the last three feet of that sixty year old copper pipe exploding in the ceiling and I would be doing this all over again. He removed the faucet and because it's a Moen, guaranteed for life. This one is twelve years old. It was free. When we bought the house it had a Moen faucet, It started to leak so I took it to RONA and they gave me a new one. They don't do that anymore. They have a guy who replaces the cartridge and all the O rings and voila just like new!
      That's where I was at 11:00 when they came on the P A and asked for a minute of silence. So there I was with my hand on my heart, surrounded by toilet parts, copper pipes and a young man fixing my faucet thinking about how many gave so much so we can be who we are. So we can openly criticize our government and their stupidity. So that every one can cast our vote in fair and open election in accordance with our own conscience. Lest we forget. Freedom isn't free, it was purchased with the blood of our Forefathers and continues to this day. I have two nephews who just enlisted and a family history in the armed forces. My Brother Garry was Airborne. I mean in the Airborne not flying willy nilly through the air.

My brother Garry, life Long Maple Loafer

I thank you and all members of the armed forces for your service and wish you all safe passage in this increasingly dangerous world. The minute was up. The musak came back on and the plumbing guy finished my faucet.
      The best part of course were words that warm the cockles of a Scotsmans heart, "No charge!" Home and Anthony had all the Pex sharkbitten together. We needed a valve for the hot water line So when we broke for lunch I ran down to Home Depot for another Sharkbite this one with a valve for the hot water. These things are great. They turn plumbing into Lego. Actually Lego is a lot harder. When we were done I drove Anthony home to New Westminster. Back at home I had an Aussie Rules dinner. I've talked about it before. It's whatever is in the fridge that can be microwaved. I had a pork chop a smokie and a piece of Squatch fake baked fried chicken, this one with Cornflake coating. It's my new favorite way to eat chicken. And a Squatch Salad. I feel a video coming on!
      Then I went downstairs boarded, taped and mudded the ceiling again, I was in bed by midnight and slept like a stone a freaking kidney stone! It must have woke me up a half dozen times. I've had it so long I named it, Kevin! Kevin the kidney stone!
      Today was the anniversary of my father in laws passing so with the help and kindness of Larry and Angi we were able to take Mama Lee out to his grave site in south Surrey. Angi is the lovely Lisa's sister through Adrian, Mama Lee's husband. That doesn't really matter they're family. Larry borrowed his brothers wheelchair van to drive us down to the Garden of Gethsemane in south Surrey.

Mama Lee strapped in and ready to go.

It meant the world to Mama Lee. We took flowers and the lovely Lisa read from Adrian's ceremony of life brochure? Is that the right word? Pamphlet? Eulogy? Pick which ever one works for you. It stopped raining on the drive out there and the sun even poked out for a few minutes so it turned out to be quite pleasant.

Angi, Mama Lee and the lovely Lisa

When we left the cemetery we went to Milestones for lunch. Kind of Headstones to Milestones and when we went in, they were playing the Rolling Stones. Emotional Rescue!
      I was not impressed with the food or the service. We ran the gamut on the menu. I had a burger, no bun and a Cesar salad.  Larry had Eggs Benny. Mama Lee had Moroccan Lamb, Angi had a California Burger and the lovely Lisa had a Thai noodle bowl. No one was impressed. Maybe it was not so bad but Kevin was acting up. We took Mama Lee home. Got her settled in and said goodbye to Larry and Angi. We couldn't have done it without them. Back at Casa Lisa I put on my work pants that I have been wearing since the pipes broke. Not everywhere just when I'm working. Still they're getting a little ripe! I took up half the floor because I found a couple of mistakes and it was pissing me off. So with no floor to worry about I sanded and primed the repaired drywall. It will be ready to apply the texture coat in four hours. With that in mind the lovely Lisa and I went to Tentatsu Too for dinner about 7:30. It turned out to be quite a nice night. We had the Ratdogs with us so we stopped at the park in Mallairdville and let loose the hounds! We found parking a half block from the restaurant and walked in the crisp autumn air holding hands. Past the line up for Antons Pasta, the best pasta joint in Vancouver. I'm not doing pasta right now. The Fat Bastard has been creeping up on me. Lots of protein, lots of veggies, lots of salad. Tentatsu Too is right next door. No lineup but busy.

One of the waitresses used to work at Tentatsu. She came over and talked to us for a minute after we had ordered. As always the food was excellent. Tuna Avocado Carpaccio and a Chicken Teri Dinner.

Tuna Avocado Carpaccio

Chicken Teri Dinner

We took our time sitting side by side and talking.

One lucky man!

I wasn't even talk watching. That's because curling was on the TV. They need to speed this game up. They stand and stare at the rocks for ever then it takes two minutes for the rock to make it's way down the sheet. It's the only sport where Valium is considered a performance enhancing drug! So the lovely Lisa had my complete attention. Every once in a while for no apparent reason Kevin would command a little bit of my attention as well!
      The lovely Lisa was off to the ladies room and I went up to pay when I realised I had conveniently forgotten my wallet. So I sat at the cash and waited for the lovely Lisa to join me. I saw her coming down the aisle and I stood up and said something when I heard my friend Ian say "Squatch is that you!" and it was. He was there with his wife Carolyn and their son Brandon visiting from Victoria. Ian and Carolyn are talented musicians and Ian works in the film business. We chatted for a few minutes while they waited for their food. I introduced them to the lovely Lisa whom they had never met but have read about her. Nice people and blown away by Tentatsu Too!
      We went straight up Hastings Street to the Burnaby Mountain Speedway. "Go up to the lookout Honey" I suggested. It's a very popular make out spot. We got the last spot with a view of the city.

Vancouver from Burnaby Mountain

We sat in the car my hand on her knee and I couldn't help but think how truly fortunate a man I am.


That's all I've got
Till next time
Peace out Y'all