Return of the Fat Bastard - The bullet proof, tamper proof, human contact proof glass window.

August 11th 2016

For no apparent reason!

      I was woken up at 7 a.m. with a rat dog on my chest. Elvis needed to pee. Come to think of it so did I. Once I'm up, I'm up. Michelle with one L was sitting out on the deck having her morning coffee. And listening to the traffic station to try to figure out how long it was going to take her to get to work on the North Shore. I'm going to go with a long time. To add to the volume that is constant in Vancouver the police were doing an HOV, seat belt, cell phone check on the Grandview HOV exit. It didn't matter to me I wasn't even going to wake the lovely Lisa up until after 10. She got home after 11 last night and she usually takes an hour or two to decompress I was still miserable so I went to bed. So I don`t actually know what time she went to bed.

Oh Yeah!

      I watered the tomatoes. We are going to eat the first one later today. I put together the materials I need for the bar and watered the cukes which are finally starting to grow and the zucchinni that makes flowers but no zukes . When I came back in the house the lovely Lisa was just getting up. ``It`s 9:30 and I don`t know how long this is going to take.`` we were out the door by 10. On my way to my walk of shame.
      We drove into Vancouver to retrieve my drivers license from the Police Station and my car from the impound lot. We took the Grandview exit because there was an accident on the Second Narrows Bridge. The freakin Cops were still there doing their  HOV, seat belt, cell phone check.

What do I have in my pockets?

 As we came up the HOV exit the traffic slowed to a crawl as the Police were dealing with several scofflaws at the same time. As we made our way up to the front of the line an officer stepped in front of our car. He said something that we couldn`t hear the radio was on I think it was playing I fought the law! I`m kidding about the song but the rest is how it happened. The officer walked around to the drivers side and said ``Let this car pull out please``  ``Okay`` the lovely Lisa said politely. Traffic was horrendous as usual so we kind of zig zagged our way to 2nd and Cambie. Home of the Vancouver Police Department. The lovely Lisa stopped in the NO STOPPING zone to let me out and drove around the corner to wait with directions to call her if I was going to be long. I had no idea what was going to happen. How long I would have to wait. I walked up to the reception window. Handed the lady behind the bullet proof, tamper proof, human contact proof glass window my citation through the one way slide. She took my drivers license out of a drawer right beside her. Wrote a few things on the paperwork and passed it back through the slide for me to sign. I passed the signed paperwork back and she slide my Drivers License back through the slide. Maybe three minutes. I crossed the street and texted the lovely Lisa that I was done. I took this picture of the police station.

50

The phone rang it was the lovely Lisa she was 50 feet behind me. I looked up and there were two people taking my picture. I got into Otto and the lovely Lisa drove me over to the impound lot.

Auto Jail

      I was the only one there. I walked up to the only window with a person in it. ``Hello `` I said. ``Take a seat until you`re called`` she said. Since I was the only person there I figured the wait wouldn`t be long. My butt had barely hit the chair when she called me up. I was a meat puppet! Jump through the hoop and get your car back! I didn`t have to jump through the hoop I just had to pay them $209 and they would reunite me with my Rav4. It wasn`t even 11:00 and I`m back on the road. Almost! While I was picking up the car The Snowbirds Jet team were doing stuff over the harbour. We had a great view from the impound lot. The lovely Lisa was on her way to Tentatsu and missed the whole thing.
      I caught up to her at the restaraunt and we had our usual Bento Lunch Box A. Teriyaki Chicken , Miso soup, sumonomo, salad, mixed tempura and California roll.

Sushi Shrapnel

I came home and got dressed in some work clothes to start setting up the yard, then sat in the living room watching the Olympics and playing guitar until it was time to go to my Doctors appointment at 2:40. I`m further ahead than I usually am on Squtchapalisa weekends so, no panic yet.
      I got a good report from the Dr and 100 days of meds. WooHoo, better living through chemistry. Then I went home and slipped into an Olympic Coma. Basketball, Volleyball, Golf, swimming and I swear I watched tiny girls tumbling and swinging and bouncing on stuff for at least 30 minutes. Is it wrong to yell fall! at the TV! The Canadian Girl finished 5th in the overall competition. The highest a Canadian has ever finished in the event. Is it weird that I know that. I didn't think I was paying attention.
      The lovely Lisa came home with piles of fake flowers and giant fake Grecian Urns. AAAARRRRGGGGHHH you know how us Pirates love our Blossoms! I Saw Lisa the Pirate Queens costume tonight. It looks great. I'm still working on mine. We did a 7:00 run to Costco for party supplies. 30 pounds of ox and 30 lbs of swine ready to be spitted and roasted over a pit of lost souls. Okay charcoal. But that's not nearly as Piratey! We had a hot dog and a pop for $1:50. "We've never had dinner at Costco before" the lovely Lisa remarked. "Au contraire mon amour, Don't you recall the Costco on Kauai where we were attacked by the Chicken while we were eating our dinner?" That really happened. The chicken jumped right up onto the table and went straight for the french fries! We ran away. It must have been amusing to everyone watching the giant man run away from a chicken. He wouldn't be so tough if I had a Tennis racket!
     Home for a Pirate Fashion show and a little more Olympics. Big day tomorrow. Squatchapalisa Eve.

That's all I've got
Till next time
Peace out Y'all